2012 HICK CHIC CHRISTMAS BLOG PARTY! AND BONUS END-OF-THE-WORLD PARTY! Also I'm turning 42 YAY PARTY!!!

Well come on in!  Welcome to my imaginary antique magazine quality country estate mansion! You look lovely!  I really like what you're wearing, that's very festive.  The bells are a nice touch.  So let's see what you brought... mmmm.  What is that, guacamole cranberry fruitcake?  Wow!

It's gonna taste like magic.  I just know it.  Come set it over here on the antique table in front of the quaint fireplace beside the original vintage doors.  Also - I dusted.  Yesssss. I did a big tidy-up just before the perfeshnul phertographer got here.  

Blog party food is awesome!! You can pretend to eat deep fried sugar butter if you want - with absolutely no consequences! No calories and it won't do anything to your blood sugar and you can drink as much as you want and still be able to work!  

Speaking of drink....

BLOG NOG!

(we can put a little rum in that, if you want.)

Why thank you very much darling.

Just set your stuff over here - make sure the Pug doesn't get it - or heck why not, go ahead and accidentally on purpose drop some.  That's why we have dogs in our house, not?

Would you like to hang up your woollen socks over here by the other fireplace?   I do think there's something missing here though. This could be improved.  

There we go.  It was all just looking a little too precious.  Things can get serious enough, and sometimes we need a set of antlers with a dorky hat.  

I'd like to think my Uncle Norm would have had a good chuckle over that. 

Oh hey, like my outfit?  I dressed up for you. These are my formal coveralls.  Depending on how things go with this party today, I might be looking really spiffy.  Anybody bring a Bedazzler?  I'll take a pop-rivet gun if that's all you've got.  Grommet punch?  Glue gun and sparkles?  

Yeah, I'm right fancy this year.  As fancy as I can get, what with all the dog hair and horse hair which usually makes up my home decor.  I'm doing a pinecone thing here.  A motif if you want to pull out the fancy words. 

Oh look, more antlers!  

Anybody got a camouflage tablecloth?

The piano is over here, and it sounds fantastic since we can make it sound however we want.  Have you all been practicing your favourite songs?  I'll be performing a rousing rendition of "You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch" once I've had a few more sips of that Blog Nog.

I want to hear your favourite fun Christmas songs - and I'm not talking about the ones you hear over the Muzak while you're out shopping.  I'm pretty sure all you delightful unique personalities know some good stuff.  

Okay, now listen.  This is not just your average Christmas Blog Party.  It's the shortest day of the year. Oh and also it happens to be the Supposed End Of The World.  I don't know about you, but the last three times the world ended, it wasn't all that exciting.  Let's make this interesting.

First of all, I propose we branch out from favourite fun Christmas songs, and throw in a cheerful happy little apocalypse ditty.  

Next challenge - How do you figure the Mayans decided their calendar was done? 

Okay, I'll go first.

"Guys I have to quit working on the calendar or my mom won't let go to the next public sacrifice...." (hands in pockets, dejected slump of shoulders.) (Did Mayans wear clothes with pockets?  Too busy mapping the sky to invent pockets?)

Or here's another one...

"Yeah my dad told me I have to move the llamas.  Today.  He said the next two millennia on the calendar will just have to wait ...It's totally not fair, man!"

Your turn!  

But hang on a second - your Blog Nog is not fancy enough.  Have this. 

All this singing and carousing is very festive, but now... it's time to go hang with the REAL PARTY ANIMALS!

Hello, Handsome Prince!

Hello Little Lady!

Hello Beautiful!

Hello Everybody!!

Ohhhh, Moe!

Your brother must be out working for a living.  

Here's our new friend Carlos.  He just sort of moved in.  I had a few discussions with him about getting along with Larry and Moe, so they've got it just about sorted out now. 

You gotta watch this guy.  He will crawl up your leg to get a cuddle.  I'm pretty sure if he could speak human he'd sound like Antonio Banderas and you could not resist him.  

But do you know who the best critters are to party with?

Are you ready for this?

 Meet our new paying guests!

Ivan. 

Mildred and Beatrice!

Bwahahahaha you are stuck here now!  I'll just bring your Blog Nog out to the barn.  Usually the party ends up in the kitchen.  Obviously that works in places with no barn.  

Hey, did you pour rum into that Blog Nog?  And did you accidentally on purpose dribble some into the goat pen?  Things are getting rowdy!  They're headbutting like punks in a mosh pit!

Uh oh.  Looks like Carlos got into something strong. I think he's done.  

 Okay.  Back into the house with us.  

I've got a fire going in my other, other fireplace, because yes my imaginary mansion does have three fireplaces.  Pull up a chair and take a minute to read.  Bring anything to read to us?  That'd be nice.

Just don't burn the pinecones.  They're part of the fancy decor.  Oh my gosh, we have kindling in our houses for decoration.  Humans are so weird. Also the word FANCY has started to make me internally giggle.

Well so far, it looks like the world hasn't ended, and you know what that means, right?  It means I'm going to have to go plunk down the $83 to renew the licence plate sticker for my truck after all.  Darn birthdays!  Or maybe I'll do what I do every year, which is, "Aw screw it, I'll spend the bucks on gifts for my kids and just not drive the truck until January after we get paid again."

So basically the same old.

Except that this year, I am turning 42 which is the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything.

Huh.  I might get smart this year.



Alright you guys.  All of you -- pass around the deep fried Christmas cookies and whatever else you brought, sing me your songs, and wish all of us a Merry Christmas!!!

Good thing I moved some junk out of the way before the photo session in the hay mow...

Somebody had to do a photography assignment when she came home from college this weekend.

The Girl With Camera is making good use of the barn on the Ol Homestead.



Now tell me how much you love that coat.

THE FIRE SWAMP

The bus route takes my kids down this stretch of gravel road, where you could think you're hours away from anything man-made other than the road itself.

There's an interesting valley along there which Annyong has named The Fire Swamp.  (There are no Rodents Of Unusual Size though... I don't think they exist...)

Today after school we HAD TO take a little trip over there to take pictures.  She didn't even have her good camera with her but the light was so incredible she'd settle for iGadget pix. 

 Meanwhile, Bucky made fake wildlife calls and/or singing "the Trollolol Song" (fantastic echo in that forested swampy valley!) and I kept going on and on and on about the happy loud springtime noise made by millions of invisible critters.

A couple of things must be said about this little field trip, and the weather, and us:

This is bizarrely warm for the month of March in Ontario.  We were all wearing shorts and T shirts. I've been sleeping with my bedroom window open for almost a week.  I've had laundry hanging to dry on the wash line for a few days in a row. 

It won't last... we always get one last wet snowfall in April.  Always.  But we've been enjoying a rare early spring heatwave, the warmest I can remember in over twenty years.  

And, I LOVE WHERE I LIVE.  

We were out there for a good twenty minutes, and only one car came through.  And this is rush hour.  I love it, I love it, I love it. 

And while I'm at it, this declaring of truths and observations... my kids are awesome.  

One last thing: Yes, she took every one of these pictures with an iPhone.  Like, allow me to be convinced that she is a magician.  Yeah, the iGadget camera is pretty impressive but it's the eye behind it that counts.  

Why the Best of 2011 List is not done yet

I have this teenager who needs the computer to apply for scholarships. As in, college. Photography. Yeah, college. That really is more important.

The List is going to be great though. I'm getting James Franco to host. I hear he's done a hosting gig before and therefore has experience.

A year with Oakie

 Last year, Halloween was on a Sunday.  That's the day we brought Oakie to the Old Homestead.  When we left the Little Valley, my friend Susan was getting Spyder ready for trick-or-treat.  (We don't get trick-or-treaters out here.  But I had to buy candy.  Just in case, right?)

So we've now had a full year with this sweet little chestnut Quarter Horse mare.

I won't claim that she's perfect.  I always wrap her front pasterns when riding, to keep her sound.  She tends to be very forward, as in, you don't need much "gas" to make her go!  She only tolerates children, but she is awesome with my adult students.  Even though I know she could ride a little better -- more impulsion from her hindquarters, slow down some, get the lateral movements tuned up -- I really enjoy being on her back.  She's so responsive and eager.  

She looooves to be treated kindly.  I think most horses do, but she really appreciates a good spa day.  Her lips twitch with happiness when you go at her with a nice soft brush.  

And she's got the most beautiful large eyes.  

She and Annyong have developed a lovely friendship.

So yeah.  This horse stays with me for life! 

The Last Gasp of Summer

That's always how the long weekend feels. 

Jethro and I took the kids and the dog up to Lake Huron.  

Everything cooled suddenly the last couple days, which was a bit of an adjustment after a pretty darn hot summer.  On our way up Highway 8, just as we went through Seaforth, we got pelted with rain.  I mean, raindrops this big (hold your thumb and forefinger together), and with great force. It turned into an epic experience... we were listening to Apocalyptica, and it was during "Helden" which is actually a cover of David Bowie's "Heroes" but trust me, waaaay heavier (seriously?  The frontman from Rammstein singing in German over cello metal?  YES)  when the torrential downpour happened. The storm was about as long as the song, and peaked when the song was ripping through a climactic thunder clap of shrieking distorted strings.  You know what it was?  It was awesome.  Truly.  Then on our way out of town, the clouds sort of gave up and the sun came out - just as the song was ending!  I know- TIMING.  It was incredible.  

Annyong declared that she would totally remember that for the rest of her life.  

We went to Goderich.

A couple weeks ago, a tornado took out the town square.  

I didn't want to be a gawker.  But Jethro insisted on putting some money into the local economy... tourism will be taking a beating these days.  He just wanted to show Goderich a little love. 

It's so easy to love.  

 In the background, you can see the part of the salt mine that didn't get hit by the twister.

Geez, Bucky is getting shoulders on him like his father.  

Annyong and Bucky both had to check out the playground.  Why not, nobody else was.  

And here in the background you can see where the twister did hit the salt mine.  Looks like it's been crumbling for 30 years.  Nope.  Less than ten minutes.  Less than five, probably.

We never know when Nature is gonna come along and kick us in the teeth.  

Count your blessings every time you're spared the wrath.  

She even takes arty pictures with an iPhone.  

Eventually we stopped by for a nice meal at a place with an outdoor patio, where The Pug was sort of allowed but not really.  He had to stay outside the fence, where he alternated between crying for Mommy (that'd be me) and greeting restaurant patrons as they came by the front entrance. 

I leaned over and stuffed fries into his mouth.  Look, I never do that, okay?  But they were really tasty, and he'd been quiet for a few minutes, so I figured, aw heck.  Last weekend of summer.  Have a fry.  

Seeing the damage in the town was...heartbreaking... yet hopeful.  There are so many trees lying on their sides, with their roots gone vertical because of the way they were lifted out of the earth.  Trees with nothing left but spikes of thick branches because the funnel cloud stripped everything else away. Piles of rubble stacked neatly at the curb.  

Windows boarded over with plywood, spray painted with messages:

Thank you volunteers

We will rebuild

We'll be "The Prettiest Town in Canada" again!

All choked up.

I wouldn't have recognized the town square, which was all fenced off.  It didn't look right.  Totally unfamiliar.  It wasn't just the boarded up windows and missing walls.  I couldn't quite place the wrongness... it was the trees.  They're gone.  The inner square was like a park, and all of those trees are gone.  What's left of them has been cut up and taken away already, probably done while the hydro crews worked.  It was eery.  

Tornadoes are so unfair.  

But it's amazing how people can band together, help each other, and overcome.  Do some grieving, and get to work.  Move on.

Summer's gone.

This morning, I sent my younguns off to school.  

Every year I take a picture on the first day of school.  This is her last year.  Oh my gosh.  

I think next weekend we'll take the pool down...

Twenty years ago today, I got married. Smartest thing I've ever done.

Most of it is a blur but I clearly remember my young man's face once I got to the gazebo in the park and stood there facing him.  He smiled at me.  He was happy to see me. Him so purty.

Over the years, people who didn't know us back then are shocked when I tell them we got married at 20 and 22 years old.  You know what? I would have married that guy two years earlier, but we got him through college first and I had some time to save up for the wedding.

I wanted a picture for our 20th anniversary, taken by our talented daughter.  The old dress still fits, but the jacket he wore is too small in the shoulders and the sleeves are about four inches too short.  He ain't a cute baby-faced kid anymore; he's my big hunk o'man now.  Me, I just have more wrinkles.

I just got through a very difficult month, and I still feel kinda pale and frail... but he's solid.

Can't imagine how much I'm gonna love that man in another twenty years.