I have to spout off about the "Son Of God" movie. I have to.

I'm probably not going to go see this movie, because I read the book.  The book was pretty good.  Hard read, but interesting.  I highly recommend it.

You know how Shakespeare wasn't big on stage directions?  The Bible is like that.  It's pretty vague.  It's not really all that adaptable for the big screen, but every few years somebody else can't resist the challenge and we get treated to another movie.  Each one of them is apparently the best, most accurate, most inspired and inspiring, and will probably change your life.  

And all I can think is... CAN WE FOR ONCE GET A GUY TO PLAY JESUS WHO MIGHT LOOK ANYTHING CLOSE TO WHAT JESUS MIGHT HAVE LOOKED LIKE?

I'm pretty sure actual Jesus didn't look like a gorgeous Portuguese tall handsome fellow.  Did I mention he's gorgeous?

We don't have any idea what Jesus looked like.  There are absolutely no descriptions of him, not his height, anything.  It's better that way, I think.  Having any clues to his appearance would take away from the message.  

Either way though, it's probably safe to say that as he came from the Middle East, he'd probably not have looked like good ol classic Euro Jesus.  

I mean, COME ON.

This Jesus looks like Brad Pitt.  

So I'm contradicting myself badly, because in one breath I'm saying it's better to not even try to picture him, but then I say if we do he should look like a brown skinned Middle Eastern guy with a big black beard. I'm sure they could find an actor from somewhere around the Holy Land who'd be nice to look at for two hours. Or maybe not be nice to look at.  Maybe he'd be right homely.  Does it matter?   But would that even matter what colour his skin and hair and eyes are?  I know Jewish people who are fair haired and green eyed.  So maybe I'm full of it anyways. I don't know what I'm saying!  

I get the impression that the producers of this movie have the best intentions.  They want to bring this important story to the world, to people who might not know it.  

BUT.  Inevitably somebody is going to snicker.  I hate to say it, but that somebody is probably going to be me.  Yes, me, raised Christian and prays all the time and doesn't read the book enough, and goes to church and leaves with all kinds of questions.  It's looking like I'm going to mock a movie that I don't even intend to see.  How hypocritical and unfair of me.  

Gimme a break.  I saw a clip this morning in which Jesus assures his mother as he's been dragged away to his torturous death.  She gasps, "my son"  OF COURSE because that's how Movie-Mary talks, and in his Movie Vaguely Fake British Accent, Jesus replies, "Dewn't be afraid... oll things ah pussible... with Gode...."

And I'm rolling my eyes, then thinking, well what the hell else are they going to sound like?  We don't know, so we get the default which is the Movie Vaguely Fake British Accent.  

In searching up pictures to steal, (sorry Jesus) I came across a few interesting things I couldn't ignore.  Such as: the actor is disturbed that he's being called Hot Jesus. Forehead slap.  Again, he seems to have had the best intentions here, but did nobody think of it that at some point *** SPOILER ALERT *** they're going to have to strip this guy down to a loincloth.  Sure he'll be hanging there to be tortured but  I guarantee some numbskull is going to say, "Oooooh he looks so sexy in that crown of thorns."  It is already happening, apparently.  Poor Hot Jesus is uncomfortable with this and so am I!!!!

The other disturbing plot point is that they producers decided to cut Satan out of the story.  For reasons, which I don't even what to get into.  They're spinning it that they wanted to focus on Jesus.  I have a hard time with this.  You cut out Satan, you miss out on a big part of the story.  The whole scene where *** SPOILER ALERT *** Satan tempts Jesus in the garden, tries to convince him to just skip this whole sacrificial thing where he'll be *** SPOILER ALERT *** hung up and tortured to death, that whole scene, is so powerful.  

But, we get this:

"I hear what you're saying, and I'm going to answer your question... with another question.  Because that's what I do."

"Yeah man, you should totally follow me! WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!!"

"Dudes, we need a theme song.  Like, Bad To The Bone, except that I'm not, so let's think up something else, like, something by Rage Against The Machine.  I actually am raging against the machine that is the Roman Empire."

Later today I will show this picture to my son and he'll tell me about that time last year in comm-tech class where he made the middle of his left hand disappear in a video so we could read the newspaper through his hand.  I predict Bucky The Nerd will explain that all you need is a glob of green putty and it's like a green screen in the palm of your hand.  

 If you go see it, and you love it, I will not mock you.  Hopefully anybody who sees it, gets something positive out of it.  And possibly for being so snarky about this, I might go to hell.

But in the meantime, I'm going to cherish this picture, because if this fella showed up with his big grin and great hair, I'd be like, cool, let's go road trip.  Tell me some stories, man.  Are we doing potluck, cuz I think I can dig up some bread and I guess we can catch some fish.  It'll be fun.

(I'm probably a giant grouch, and this movie will be interesting, and why not?  If you're looking for epic source material, this would be it.  I kind of hope it'll be good.  You'll have to tell me.)

I went to see that JOHNNY DEPP LONE RANGER TONTO MOVIE

So let's just get this straight right now: You're going to see a movie that Jerry Bruckheimer produced and Gore Verbinski directed.  You are there for explosions and gags, loudness and stunts, huge sprawling set scenery, elaborate costumes.  Don't complain about a lack of realism or historical accuracy or coherent compelling storyline - you've got BRUCKSPLOSIONS!  And in some, Johnny!!!!

There was a plot of some kind.  It involved an introduction (some movie wizardry that aged our boy
Tonto-Johnny to about 113 years old) and then a little hints at backstory, a CRISIS involving A DIRTY UGLY VILLAIN and then a reluctant- buddy-cop-movie kind of thing where our two heroes are thrown together and must learn to...get along?  Work together?  There's a family honour / revenge / death avenging theme, because it's a western and is therefore required.  And there is a love interest subplot, but no sex of course, this is a Disney thing so you're allowed to see multiple bad guys getting shot but no kissing, geez, and there is also a plot twist, helpfully telegraphed halfway in so you totally see it coming and therefore feel pretty smart about your plot predicting abilities!  And oh yeah -- TRAIN STUNTS -- plural, take note, and stuff blows up and burns and there are flames the usual token gunshots, and also HORSE STUNTS... anything I'm forgetting?  Did I mention JOHNNY and HORSE?

Let's explore in pictures. (Which, sadly, I borrowed without permission because I still don't know how the internets work.)

Here's Tonto getting himself into a situation with this ridiculously handsome young do-gooder.  Seriously, I bet if you look up "MOVIE STAR" in the dictionary you find a picture of Armie Hammer. This is a theory that assumes you know what a dictionary is. Also I love this guy's name and wonder if it's a short form for "Armand" in which case his parents were nuts and hilarious.  Armand Hammer.  That's great.  

TRAIN STUNT!

I've been having small groups of young riders for extended summer vacation lessons; we ride in the morning, then spend a couple hours after lunch drawing pictures and laughing at chickens until their parents come get them.  Our rides consist of fun games like mounted scavenger hunts and fake horse shows.  I'm thinking of adding TRAIN STUNTS to my repertoire.  Not sure where I'll build the train track. I haven't even gotten around to building a bridge and gate for my trail obstacles. (And when I say "I" of course I mean Jethro and Bucky.)

 There is the possibility that I could be corrupting these kids though... after settling on their new cowboy names I warned them not to go robbing any trains.  

Back off, Calamity Jane and Crazy Kate!

Our hero Tonto meets up with the real hero, White Horse.  He's not called Silver till the end.  Outlaw Enforcers of the Law don't always have time to name their horses, I guess.  Well it takes time to settle on something suitable.  In any case, Tonto doesn't need to name the horse.  They have a bond that transcends trivial things like names.  

AWWWWWW!!!  

Let's talk about this horse for a second or ten.  Usually there are about four horses to play one.  That makes sense.  Every star needs a stand-in and a trailer to go escape to. Of course the star horse has to go back to his trailer and chill -- only his trailer has better, more healthy refreshments, I'm sure.  

Quick half-assed research on my part tells me that this is a Quarter Horse who's name is Silver in real life.  

Y'know, I don't think I've ever seen a white QH.  The horse in the pic above is somewhat QH shaped, I guess.  (I suspect that's not a gelding though?)  (Not to be looking where I shouldn't or anything.)  In any case, at least one horse was a real character, and the editors did an awesome job of sticking all those great expressions into the right scenes!!

Did I mention Helena Bonham Carter is in this?

I think she's just in it because she's really cool and instantly flashes things up necessarily.  Yes she is shooting an unruly patron of her establishment with her leg.  Is this disturbing?  On several levels.  But Disney has a way of making things seem totally acceptable.  Also, she's Helena Bonham Carter.  So, okay?

There's also a villain named BUTCH CAVENDISH which sounds like the result of a Western Movie Villain Name Generator. 

They went full on ugly for this guy, erasing any doubt in our minds that HE IS BAD.

It turns out that Tonto is nutso craze balls shamanistic outcast obsessive crazy insane.  

And speaking of which:

TRAIN STUNT.

Yet all those train stunts, and the scene that made me guffaw in disbelief was the white horse guzzling down a beer then belching.  GAH.  HORSES CAN'T BURP.  Heck yes, exploding bridge aerial train stunt, but you make a horse burp through the magic of movie wizardry and you have just ruined my suspension of disbelief!!!!!!!! And I remind myself once again that I'm really here for the Brucksplosions.

Well, heck, Tonto said it.  "There is something very wrong with that horse."

Know what else was good/bad in a so unrealistic it had to funny kind of way?

Tonto and the good lawyer turned outlaw ranger in a mask are up to their necks in dirt.  (Wrong headed stereotype?  Pirates didn't really make anybody walk the plank either.  Brucksplosions, people.  Brucksplosions.  Focus.)

That clever white horse comes up to the rescue. 

He cleverly drops one of those carefully draped reins so that his Ranger can grab the rein and get pulled out of the sand.  The horse backs up and pulls him out.  

He's very clearly got a curb bit in his mouth.

I'm sure not everybody in the theatre twitch and writhed with suppressed laughter at this.  A curb bit?  He's going to back up and that rein is going to... I can't even explain the fake science involved to do this because either my brain blocked it out or my eyes were squinted shut from giggling.  

Mind you I'm totally okay with this magical movie horse loping down the roof of a moving train, walking on the roof of a burning barn (although I'm fundamentally opposed to barn fires) and showing up in a tree.  Heck why not.  He's magic!

Here we have a lovely white horse loping through town.  Probably a getaway scene.  By the way, in my mind, when I coax Phoenix into his lazy lumbering lope, we look almost exactly like this!!! 

Notice the horse in this picture is all white.  He's (She's???) so white that the skin around the eyes and nose is pink.  Scroll through the pictures and you'll see that we've got a couple different horses here.  Anyways I think this one is very cute and always looks amused.  

I absolutely LOVE everything about this picture.  Let's count it out:

1. Armie Hammer is wearing a brilliant red suit.  He looks striking and fun and cool but yet playfully formal!  
2. JOHNNY
3. Johnny proves that he is his own man by once again giving a gentle metaphorical middle finger to the unwritten rules of style.  I'll wear a suit... but only with scuffed up boots and a pile of chains around my neck instead of a tie! 
4. That horse.  He's totally clocked into work today.  Yep, press event, photographers, handlers, the talent stands here, I'm cool.  Ten more minutes and it's hay net time.  
5. I appreciate the work that goes into getting a white horse white.  I have a white horse.  I totally lucked out because she has brown legs.  But she still ends up with grass stains all over her rump and withers.  Luckily, she's not a movie star.  
6. One of my favourite hobbies is to imagine horses having human thoughts.  Considering the above point, maybe what this horse is really thinking would go like this: As soon as Hunky and Handsome there are done with me, I'm going home and the first thing I'm gonna do is have a nice roll in the juicy green grass ahhhhhhh....!
7. Nifty bridle there.  

In case you're wondering, and don't mind a spoiler, when our Lone Ranger finally decides on "Silver" as a name for his horse, he tries out his HI YO SILVER, AWAY! thing and dorks it up so hard that the crazy buddy with the dead bird on his head can't deal with it.  

And this goes seamlessly with how I also look in my mind when Copper gets a little fidgety and impatient.  

Cuz y'know, I don't like it when she does that and I am encouraging her not to but she is just so flashy and impressive when she's eager to get moving.  Sometimes I wave my hat around and it causes a lovely flare around the sun.  

Would I recommend this movie?  Yes, if you like horses and villains and heroes and Johnny and things blowing up in imaginative and unlikely ways.  Which I do.  Just promise me you'll laugh when the horse belches and whisper to the person beside you (hopefully someone you know, don't go see this alone, you need a post-viewing discussion partner) that horses can't belch and isn't that funny.  

I'll be over here, trying to figure out how to make a fake train stunt for my trail course...

Demi dumped his Ass-ton.

So it's official.  Kutcher messed up big time.

If I actually knew him, I think I'd likely get in his face and say, "What the hell did you THINK would happen?  You don't get to cheat on your wife and get away with it!  Moron!"

But I don't know them.  It makes no sense that their break-up bums me out.  Other than, it's awesome that a lady in her 40s married a handsome young fella and it really seemed to work.  From what we could see. But, they're actors.  You never really know what's real?

It's not fair for me to judge, but... COME ON.  Is it really that hard to stay married?  Is it harder for the Famous People? Is it different if they have to pretend they're in love with other people for a living?  Is it more difficult because all kinds of people get all infatuated with them and want to throw themselves at them?  Is it easier to wreck everything?  

Celebrity divorces are often a bit of a joke.  For us, if not for them.

Okay, celebrity weddings are often a joke too.

(Although I do think it's hilarious/awesome that she barely comes up to his shoulder.  Makes me and Jethro look a little less size-incompatable in comparison.) 

But I digress.  

As I often do.

Dashmi looked happy together.  And for what it's worth, they looked awesome together.

In most of pictures he's looking adoringly at her. (Or at her body.)  And who wouldn't?  She's gorgeous.  

But gorgeous isn't enough to hold a marriage together.  It helps.  Attraction is the magnet.  But commitment is the glue.  

They looked pretty happy in pictures.

Now it's more like this.

Oh, buddy.  You screwed up.  Baaaaad.  

I mean, really badly.  He used to be on Bruce's good side.  Used to be.

Clearly he did not think this through.  

You wouldn't want to be on Bruce's bad side.  

There are usually public statements made after a Famous People Breakup.  You know, dumb things like, "I really hoped this would last forever but sometimes things don't work out." That is the dumbest thing ever.  Really, you hoped your marriage would last forever?  Hoped???  You shouldn't make a big decision like that out of hope.  And gee, golly heck, oh shuckums, sometimes things don't work out.

Or this one:  ""I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail" 

It is true.  Marriages fail.  It happens, and for reasons that are not anybody else's business.  Yes, marriage is difficult.  I've been married for 20 years.  We've had our hard times.  People see us getting along really well and it's obvious that we like each other, but don't think for a second we haven't had our huge fights. To be fair it's usually me fighting at him.  

But here's the thing: I LIKE HIM.  He's my favourite person.  I love him unconditionally.  Just because he is who he is.  That love doesn't go away because we have a fight.  I can be angry at him and still love him.  You know what?  If he's angry at me, he still loves me.  The bad times happen, but they don't last.  We are a team.  We get through troubles together.  

Maybe I'm not the one to weigh in on this, because marriage, for me, has been the one steady constant thing in my life.  No matter what, I know I've got a man who loves me and it's been like that since I was a teenager.  Has it been EASY?  pffft.  Hell no.  If anybody tells you marriage is easy, they haven't been married.  But most good things in life are not easy, right?  Marriage is worth it.  Worth the squabbles, the conflicts involved with living with the same person for the rest of your life.  It's worth having your heart broken regularly by that same person. I love the man. It's that simple.  I love him more than I did twenty four years ago.  Amazingly.  We stuck together and that's our reward: it gets even better!

Marriage isn't a shackup.  It's a death pact.  

You think I'm kidding?  I'm not.  Till death do us part?  Yeah.  The only way this marriage ends is if one of us dies.   

Oh, and also, we get it that one of the basic concepts of being married is that we don't have sex with anybody else.  

So that's me going off on my judgmental rant, standing on my little soap box among the smoking burnt ruins of somebody else's heartbreak.

I'm hick, I'm chic, and I'm a week late: American Idol highlights and dubious/ fantastic styling choices!!!

Yeah I know, it all happened a week ago, but I live with these young people who insist on using the computer for homework, like that's ever been a real legit computer usage reason ever in history.  Pffft.  Brainiac kids.  Anyways, I went out to the barn early that evening to catch this, and then of course report back to you all who couldn't be bothered cuz you knew I'd give you the highlights.  Basically it was STARPALOOZA and just when I thought they couldn't possibly dust off another one and trot it out on stage, oh wow, LOOK WHO IT IS!!!   By an hour and a half in, I was just about finished.  Yes, I think I was getting close to Famous Person Burnout. I changed into my jammies and stuck it through till 10:00 because... I had to.  I just had to.

First.  JENNIFER LOPEZ!!!!!

This is now officially my all time favourite picture of her.  

That jumpsuit thing looks scratchy, but clearly it is a One Piece Garment Of Happiness!!! If that's all it takes, I'll have one in every colour please.  

The Famous Person Parade started off with  Casey the Beard Guy and JACK BLACK!

What did they sing?  FAT BOTTOM GIRLS by Queen.  

Well, I just love that song.  

Have I ever mentioned that I adore Jack Black?  He's always in over-the-top mode, always goofing, always ON but the thing is, he's actually a really good singer.  Yeah, it's there, underneath the satire.  

So that was fun.  And they did not look like idiots.  Or maybe they did, but it looked right so I didn't notice?

Then.  THEN.  Something... amazing... happened.  

Judas Priest.  On Idol.  

I'm still trying to get my head around this and it's been a week.  That is Judas Frickin' Priest, people.  That bald man in head to toe black leather?  Rob Halford.  For real.  It was nice of Mr Halford to loan the kid some items of clothing from the Screaming For Vengeance era.

They did a thing with James Durbin, which had to be a dream come true.  For him, I mean.  He's got a voice that will shiver the wallpaper off the wall.  And here he is.  

HE WAS ON STAGE WITH JUDAS PRIEST.

FOR REAL.

Flames and spikes and studs and all.  It's a 70s metal daydream.  ONLY HE REALLY DID IT.

Judas Priest was on American Idol??????

From one extreme to the other....third runner-up Haley got the opportunity to sing with... wait for it... Tony Bennett!  Yes, THE Tony Bennett.

Wow.  I mean, just wow.  This guy is a living legend.  He sounds so good!  He's from the era when singers actually had to know how to sing.  And look what a class act the dude is.

And he's still so handsome!  He's 85 years old!  

It was a cute duet.  Well done!  

What a classy dude.  And doesn't she look lovely.  They're a nice couple.  They should make a record. 

You know who else showed up?  TOM JONES!

He's let his hair go grey, which I love, because dudes who are of great maturity look stoopid with bright red hair.  Or jet black hair.  I mean, come on, we know.  And grey hair can look soooo good on a man.

He's not doing the old swivel-hips routine like he did back in the 70s.  Did anybody else here ever watch the Tom Jones show?  Remember the intro where the spotlight reflects off the belt buckle?  And them tight pants and the shirt with no top buttons?  

 I was stuck to the TV anticipating the big notes, and yep, he nailed the money notes.  Also he wears clothes that cover up... everything and that's probably good, cuz it is not the 70s anymore. 

Nothing against the young fellas, but... I wonder if they felt like total noobs beside this guy.  (They should, really.)

Speaking of young fellas:  Here's young Scotty - yeah he won, no spoiler here, this is old news by now- with Tim McGraw, and the youngun's all this is one a my heroes oh man this is great and there's Tim all music biz veteran and composed and being the elder statesman of country music.  Raising up the next generation.  Wondering what Faith's making for supper tonight.

I wonder if Tim's hat is the same one he's been wearing on stage for the last twenty years.  (Is it twenty yet for him?  Feels like he's always been here.)  Like I wonder if he gets a new shiny black straw hat each spring and retires last year's hat to working status.  You know, when Faith makes him go mow the lawn and that sort of thing.

While we're on country music, let's have a look at the runner up, the absolutely adorable Lauren Alaina. Here's a picture that cracks me up.  

Carrie Underwood is thinking, "Those two hours I spent working my thighs and calves was worth it.  And the spray tan.  And the waxing.  Totally worth it. My legs are monuments of perfection! Just to prove it, I am flexing them right now!"

And 16 year old Lauren is just singing away, not chewing the scenery or stealing the show.  She's got something Carrie will probably never have: BACKSIDE.  I appreciate a girl with a good gravity defying derriere!  Booty girls, let's never think we're fat, let's love our shapes, and let's be glad we will always have a good place to sit!  

She's a good singer, seems to be a really nice kid, but her stylists need to be slapped.  Even Blondie Legs up there would look awful in black tights ending at the ankle paired with gaudy shoes with ankle straps. The alternative, though, would have been to put Lauren in a pair of really tacky cowboy boots, and by tacky I don't mean all the cool horse stuff in my barn.  No I mean tacky as in EWW.  As in, "Oh, duh, country singer = cowboy boots."  Slap your forehead and roll your eyes.

Those stylists have done enough damage already.

WHAT the CRAP is this????  Is this somebody's idea of something a country music diva should wear?  Even Scotty looks uncomfortable, like he is trying not to be alarmed at how awful this dress is, especially since she's putting on such a good smile, and also how relieved he is that he's a guy, and the wardrobe people go, "obviously, country singer = plaid shirt and jeans"  which in his case is just really lucky.

It is possible for a country singer to look good.  Scotty do.  

This girl is so cute.  Do you have any idea how hard I looked for white cowboy boots to wear with my wedding dress in 1991?  I'm not quite sure about this outfit though.  If they had her in a plain T shirt the same colour as his jacket... listen to me eh?  Like I'm an expert.  Wait, isn't this blog called Hick CHIC as in 

"stylishness and elegance, typically of a specified kind:  French chic | biker chic."

Ha, so there.  

Know who thinks she's all that?

Yawn.

Wearing things that aren't clothes, and as naked as possible in public without being illegal.

I'm bored.  Are you bored?

She even fake-fornicated with a backup dancer and I was STILL BORED.  

Now if she showed up in jeans and a plaid shirt I would be shocked.  

I keep thinking I should be bored with this chick, and yet I'm not.  Maybe it's because I keep finding pictures of her with ridiculous outfits and great facial expressions, like this one.

"Hey, yo, check out mah silver undaaaays!  Yeah!!!"

Also I am fascinated by the science of keeping the bazooms inside the ridiculous outfit.  Shirt glue?  It's a real thing, right?

Oh but if we're talking about ridiculous outfits, we need some LOPEZ!  Wheeeee!

Truth is, it started off as a Marc Anthony performance in Spanish.  The man has a golden throat.  Even if I find him slightly scary looking.  

But then SHE emerged from the smoke machine fog.

I love this.  I don't know what he was singing in Spanish but he's pointing at her butt.  

"I live with THAT!"

Yep, just another Wednesday evening in the Lopez-Anthony house.

Absolutely normal.

Just when I thought my brain would explode with unexpected appearances, this guy in a toque showed up, playing guitar, and Spiderman went zooming around...

...and I gave my head a shake and said, out loud, "Really?  Bono and Edge?  Idol, really?  Really really?"

Weeeeeird.  

I know I didn't dream this, because there's photographic proof, but seriously, really????

There was one thing I was waiting and hoping for.  AND IT HAPPENED!!!!

He finally showed all these young whippersnappers how to rock.  

He sang "Dream On" only without Aerosmith, which is understandable I guess. I have one complaint:  too short.  It was an abbreviated version with a verse, a chorus and then the famous outro.  

And you just know I was on the edge of the couch, holding my breath, because here comes the part all the noobs think they can sing, and that if they shriek it out it proves how awesome they are but they are just pale imitations because only one man, only one rock star is STEVEN TYLER.

He opens up that frightening fascinating mouth of his and people's HEADS EXPLODE.

This guy woke me up every morning when I was 16.  I rolled over in bed and heard his voice.

Yep, had the tape player right there so I could hit the Play button and wake up to Back In The Saddle.  It's one of my favourite songs ever.  When I get my imaginary TV show it'll be my theme song.  

Dude is 63 years old and he still rocks my warm woolly socks.  

Rockstaaaahhhhhhh: this is how it's done, noobs.  You've got about 40 years to get it right.

So anyways, this whole exercise was about giving some lucky youngster a really tight and limiting recording contract and supposedly a good media-bombing, while the 2nd and 3rd runner up wait a year, get signed by somebody else, and possibly have an actual career.  

I don't know why young Scotty here even bothered going this route, because I honestly think the kid is brilliant.  He's got the cute "yes ma'am" personality, a crooked smile, and a killer voice.  I mean he's gooood.  He's like 17 going on 28, mature in the way he presents himself and his singing skills.  That's my opinion.  He'd have been a star no matter what; maybe this little contest got him there quicker but it's kind of irrelevant.  

So he looked all dapper, and it really struck me how much a teenage boy can grow into his ears in less than a year.  Oh come on, I'm not being mean, I'm serious!  I'm the mother of a teenage boy and I know they're a funny collection of limbs and ears and feet that don't quite grow at the same rate.  

Man, these two are young.  They don't really seem young.  Except for that "Beauty and the Beast" dress.  Okay, it is on the pretty side of cute but mostly if you're a four year old girl and it's your birthday.  But she looks really happy!

Yeah giggle now while you can, kids.  Everybody looks back at what they were wearing when they were 16 and cringes.  

Now I don't know about you, but I think this looks like more than your average congratulations kiss.  This is a full on SMOOCH!  She's got her hands around his neck and face and all!  

Oh my gosh, it looks like these two were all falling-in-teenage-love while this show was happening.  

Now the publicists can go bomb the media with this story.  

You know, I was about this age when I met The Love Of My Life over twenty years ago.  Aw, wouldn't it be sweet if they end up being a real THING and stay together??  I mean, it's possible.  To do that though, they might want to consider getting the hell out of the entertainment biz.

I just hope she doesn't let the stylists from this show pick out her wedding dress.  

(I'm available and I'll work for horse feed.)