Celebrities behaving badly, 400 lbs of horse manure, and snow.

Let's see what we can learn from this:

Kids, don't let the manure build up as a result of cleaning out the stalls and not taking it out of the barn for a couple days or so.  I had a good reason for not taking it out.  It was extremely windy last week and I really didn't want to take a chance that the contents of the wheelbarrow would end up in my face.  You understand, eh?  By the beginning of this week, the wheelbarrow was full, as well as the blue plastic tub with rope handles (which I dragged across the snow when the wheelbarrow couldn't get through) and the barrel I usually keep shredded paper in was full.  Then I started forking the stuff up against the wall behind the stalls.  I was disgusted with myself!  I let it get that bad!  It started to look like a credit card debt, you know, like it just keeps getting bigger and then you can't face it and it gets bigger and bigger!

Well I went at it this week.  It took a few hours, but I went slow.

Now.  Let's talk about FAMOUS BAD BEHAVIOUR.

-don't get punk in drublic.

-shut your mouth.

-girls, skirts must cover your butt, and please learn how to get out of a car.

-Don't call radio station talk shows when you're hammered!

-actually don't call radio talk shows at all.

-never insult your boss in a public, easily accessible medium.

-don't steal stuff

-hookers are not babysitters

-seriously, shut your mouth.  Just stop talking.


And as for snow?  As much as I complain that I'm tired of the cold, and everything is more difficult in the snow, I wish I could show you what the yard looks like tonight.  Big flakes have been drifting out of the black sky for a few hours, just ambling their way down.  No hurry.  Everything is sparkling.

It's sparkling outside.

So how can I complain?

Sure I get irritated when I watch the news, and people who think they are too special to follow the rules are hogging all the attention (I mean, geez, the really important news is about HAIRCUTS right?).

And I don't ever want to bitch about cleaning out the barn, because guess what - horse manure only shows up where there are horses!  And I love my horses.

And I would like to not worry about snow every time I get into my truck, worry about my husband driving home, and all that.  Stumbling through the snow drifts to walk the Pug is... not working well.  Winter wears thin right about this time of year.

BUT TONIGHT THE SNOW IS SPARKLING.

(Also.  OSCAR tomorrow night!!!!!!!!)

How can any person NOT KNOW any Beatles songs????

Yeah I watch American Idol.  Hello, Steven Tyler???  Plus Randawg and J Lo?  You know I'm gonna watch that.  Mostly for Mr Steven Tyler.  He's always been a big Beatles fan.  Aerosmith covered a Beatles song or two.  Tonight's show had the contestants destroying singing Beatles songs.  To my shock, a few of these youngsters looked bewildered.  Why?  THEY DIDN'T KNOW ANY BEATLES SONGS. 

EXACTLY.  

I am both outraged and perplexed.

Maybe other people's lives are different from mine, but... wouldn't you have had to be living in total isolation for the last 50 years to not know any of the music the Beatles recorded?  There's so much of it. I don't even know all of it.  It's everywhere.  How could you not know it, especially if you claim to be a musician!!!

I guess it's possible some of these kids actually did know a song or two, but may not have ever known it was the Beatles.  In that case I could excuse them.  Otherwise, it's bordering on tragic for a kid to grow up with no Beatles.  Tragic.  And maybe, may I say, lazy.

Here's the thing: my mother, in her teens, lived way out in the country in a house with no electricity, and still managed to become a huge Beatles fan.  That takes some effort and dedication.  

To be born within the last 20 years, surrounded by TV and radio and  commercials and not know?   I just can't listen to your pitiful excuses.  

So tell my wonderfully gnarled and refried rock star hero what Beatles song is your favourite.

Mine might be "Oh Darling."  No wait, "Twist and Shout."  No wait, "Octopus's Garden!"  No wait...

For those of you holding your breath for that Grammy report: the wait is over!

Between internet problems and bad weather and wheelbarrows and hay and the usual amount of dirty clothes, it took me a week to sum up the Grammy awards.  Go check it out!!  The way things are going you might not get much else to read from me so get it while you can!

Grammy awards hangover

In case you're wondering if I watched the Grammy Awards on Sunday, the answer is...

YES!  Are you kidding?  Music's biggest night? Rock stars?  Inevitable craziness?

I watched the whole darn thing, three-plus hours of it, but who's keeping track?  

Then yesterday I had to spend almost 4 hours on the phone, talking to 14 different people, to get our cell phones and internet working.  I WISH I WAS EXAGGERATING BUT FOR ONCE I'M NOT.

I don't know what's more sad: that my life is either about manure removal or cell phones.

Anyways.

I'm currently gathering up a collection of photos from the Grammys in order to blog up a nice little report for you.  I'm enjoying it immensely.  This year was a crazy-a-thon, and you just know how much I love a little crazy in my life.  Plus I need some ideas for what to wear to the Juno awards in the spring.

snort pffft haahahahaa!

A quick piece of movie star weirdness...

I saw this picture on Go Fug Yourself and had to steal it share it!

Look closely.  It appears that Nicole Kidman is...

...resting her hand on Oscar's right cheek.  

I would totally do that if I were standing beside a larger-than-life Oscar.

You would too.  Admit it!

Hay, Man!

Went to go visit my Hay Man this afternoon.  He's such a character... talks super fast, sometimes getting stuck on a word, leans his head back and closes his eyes when speaking, then looks straight at you when asking you a question.  He ties the hem of his pants with twine string to keep them over his boots.  He knows what year his barn was built (1872 but my memory for dates is not as good as his) and he knows which field each bale of hay came from and how many times it got rained on and how many cuttings of hay those Dutch farmers down the road got last year.

This is how the phone call this morning went:

HAY MAN: What kinda hay you want, youwan grass hay alfalfa hay timothy hay Igot some third cut this year butnotmuch and Igot some good hay yet from two years ago but y'mightfindittoo dusty for the horses.

For a second I thought I got lost and ended up at an auction sale!

ME: Um... well...I guess grass hay, or timothy would be good, and yeah the dust...

HAY MAN: You come out anhave alook I'll giveyou a coupla bales you can try 'em out andseeifthey like it.  Come out at 2 doesthatsuit you?

ME:  Oh, 2 is great, yeah I can do that.

HAY MAN: AlrightgoodHeidithen I'll see you thisafter noon.

At his barn, he pointed out which was only two bucks a bale but likely not horse-appropriate, and that over there for 3.50 a bale, and also told me his beef cattle won't eat last year's rained-on hay unless he runs it through the shredder.  Easier to chew, he figures.  Man, the stuff you learn if you pay attention!!!

Well the hay is green inside, smells good and isn't dusty.  He put two bales in the loader and dumped them into my truck on top of the foot of snow I've been hauling around... and sure enough the horses devoured that hay.


Next week, I scrape together some cash and go get me a truck load.  Three horses empty a hay mow faster than two.  I am so lucky to have a Hay Man!  And better yet, that he's such an interesting and unique character of a person!!  I should write a song about this.

Because you know what I always say.

Less Hatred.  More Hay.

A whole bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with anything. Or might.

It's like this: Horses Rock Stars Awards Shows Pug Novel-writing and Stuff.  Where do I start? Well, the water in the barn is frozen again.  I HATE when that happens but at least the trough is full.  Let's cheer up by looking at some barnyard winter pictures:

We're not working these days - which I think the horses might actually miss! - but they're getting lots of hay and pats and smooches.  

A reader sent me an email a few days back (Hi Lynn!) asking about good footing for an outdoor riding area.  The short answer is... I'm not sure.  I've been thinking about this for a couple years.  Next week I'll write a post about what I've come up with so far.  

Who watched the SAG AWARDS last weekend?  

No?

Heck that's okay.  I DID!  

I watch the awards, so you don't have to.  

It's just what I do, no need to thank.

DISAPPOINTING ROCK NEWS Part 1

Robert Plant was in Toronto 2 weeks ago.  And I was not.  Oh Robert.  When, when, will our paths meet again?  I can't friggin' believe I didn't catch this.  

Dang it.  

I won't give up hope!  As long as he keeps doing His Thing, which we can clearly see, He's Still Got IT, there is still a chance I'll get to see him!  And like, remember it this time.  

DISAPPOINTING ROCK NEWS Part 2

The White Stripes have called it quits. 

They're going to end on a good note rather than crank out a few crappy boring albums worth of dreck, then give up out of frustration. Good decision guys.  But nevertheless.

WAAAAAHHHHH!

SO glad we took the kids to see the a few years back.  That was worth it.  Two freaks on a stage making a lot of noise- that is just what a couple of pre-teens get into.  

I will miss their special brand of weirdness!  

At least Jack has other things going on, and always will.  

But yet again, waaaahhhhhh!

Ok, what else happened this week?  I bought pants.  They fit.  It snowed and now my Pug has to jump through the snow drifts, which is hilarious and darn near indescribable.  Trust me, it's funny.

I got rid of some more junk.  Why the hell did I think I'd need those glass jars after I moved?  Seriously, there's not a worldwide glass shortage happening.  Buh-bye junk.  

And the cat is taming up a little but she's still psycho. I adore her.  

Also I'm rewriting.  AGAIN.  But it's okay, and I'm actually... enjoying it!!!  From now on I shall introduce myself like this:

"Hello.  I'm Heidi, I'm a horsewoman and a re-writer."

On that happy note, I've worn my computer down to 11% battery and my butt's numb from sitting so long.  Git outta here and go do something!  Git!

When Laundry Attacks...

I thought I had it defeated, but then I walked into my bedroom...

The dirty clothes and sheets had oozed out of the hamper...

AND GOT MY PUG!

This is out of control!  

Look at his worried face!!!  Oh wait.  He always looks like that.  Never mind.

I wrestled the dirties back into place, but not before throwing a good batch into the washing machine.  Ha! That'll learn 'em.  I scooped up my Pug and put him up on my bed, where he is currently snoring away as I write this.  

Poor little house dog.  If it isn't clothes with stinky armpits, it'll be two feet of snow to jump through every time he has to go outside for a wiz. No wonder his forehead is all wrinkled.