I watched the SAG awards last night. It's so weird! SAG stands for Screen Actor's Guild, but it's really a great excuse for me to make more immature boob jokes. What? We all like boobs, don't we? Of course, I'll be composing a report on the awards show, because that's what I do: watch the awards, so you don't have to. You're Welcome!!
Meanwhile, I am STILL fighting with laundry. What the crap??? Are we really that dirty? Depending on which way you want to see it... We're either the dirtiest people or the cleanest. Glass half empty, glass half full.
I am behind on replying to emails. I'm shamefully behind on phone calls, and pray my friends won't give up on me. My horses look bored. Damn you Laundry, and your nasty sidekick, Dishes!
My sister Sweetie gave me a gift card for Christmas. Today my daughter and I ventured into the store with the intention of getting me a new pair of pants. I have two pairs of jeans that fit: one for riding, one for being seen in public. There was no way I'd go into that store without my teenager. No way. I hate shopping for Pants.
Pants are a problem. I'm not proportionate. All these stores claim to have innovative pants features like "No-Gap waistband" and "Curvy fit" but apparently I am some weird shape that manufactured pants do not understand. This is why me and Pants have a problematic history. We just don't always get along.
It's really hard to buy clothes when you're shaped like me.
Anyways, I was ready to bolt after trying on one pair (Yeah, Curvy Fit my ass!) and not trying on a second pair when I saw the price tag. Hold me down, I want the heck outta there. I was lamenting my waist-to-butt ratio when darling Annyong, the girl who looooves to shop, brought out one last pair... size 6, 30 length...and did they fit? Hmmm. Not awful. A belt will be necessary but that's normal. Maybe a little on the snug side but these new meds seem to be taking some weight off me, so...
I GOT THEM.
They're sort of a muted grey plaid which sounds awful but they're--- wait for it--- nice. Which will make Sweetie proud. She's so well dressed and I suspect my wardrobe of shlumpy old track pants and band T-shirts and hoodies might embarrass her just a little bit. Maybe not embarrass. Maybe just inspires her to help!
I mean, a girl can't wear evening gowns every day.
Not practical for cleaning out the barn.