I feel queasy and dizzy and potentially barfy today. Oddly enough, I felt that way last year too around this time. Is this a thing? I've noticed over the last two years that I get hit with a crushing depression in spring that lasts from February, when the snow is still in full force, until right around... May 1st. Suddenly it's like, boom the cloud lifts. Maybe recognizing it is the first step to blah blah blah blah blah.
Anyways, I did not drive out to the barn today, even though it's not painfully cold and the nice white sky is great for riding under because I don't have to squint. I don't feel like driving, let alone balancing myself on a horse's back. Just...bleccchhhh.
It's got to be bad when it's my scheduled barn day and I flake out.
So, it's just me and the Pug today, the cat off hiding somewhere soft, and the furnace hissing in the background. Cup of tea, bowl of soup. Internet lurking and not much commenting. A big book about the mechanics of riding lessons. A 55 year old novel that I should have read ages ago. And a 346 page chunk of paper with my name on it, covered past the halfway point with pencil marks.
Not a total waste...
This week has been one heck of an emotional roller coaster.
Feeling yucky and down, generally, but excited and thrilled by Tuesday's announcement that it's not just me who really digs my talented husband, but that the Canadian music industry has once again decided to honour him with a crack at a big award. With all of this, I'm basically feeling a chest pain that's had me considering that bottle of "chill pills" that I keep in my purse for emergencies. I chose to walk it out instead. Is it working?
Don't know for sure.
Just don't know...
I'm going out to the farm tomorrow, I'm going to spend some quality time brushing my own horses and breathing into their apostrophe shaped nostrils, and I'm going to get some churching, and I'm going to hug my mom. I'll let you know how that all works out.