Friday, October 20, 2006

Help confused Heidi on a dreadful grey Friday...

THINGS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND...Can any of you explain this to me? I asked about it way back when I had, like, one reader. There are more of you now, and you're all smart in varying ways! I'm really hoping that some of you will have some insight into this stuff.

Things I don't get...
I don't get poker either.
I'm just a hick. I don't get this stuff.

I wrote it a year ago and have not yet figured it all out. I'm hoping more than three of you have the gumption to press a button and read those things!

Here's another thing I don't get: what the hell is wrong with Kate Moss?

Former boyfriend:
Current boyfriend:

I mean, what's a little hotel trashing compared to THIS?!?
And why, despite the pathetic stupidity of him, do I look at that photo and snicker???

Johnny got the better end of that deal!
Clearly Johnny goes by type: petite, blonde, thin, high-cheekboned cooooool chick. But he's added "awake looking" to the list.

(Also I think he's wearing the same coat in both pictures. Which is fine by me. I wore the same dress to the Junos two years in a row. It's almost the same thing!)
Now seriously, I'm looking forward to some answers here. You've got all weekend. Please, enlighten me.


Life, or Something Like It said...

I don't get poker, golf, math, or how to do links and down load photos.
SIGH...Makes me sad.
I am glad that Tod moved out of scruffy slums, though.:)
I'll let the terrier comments go...My puppies are exceptional. Video games...KK and Corey have been know to play Sims for hours upon hours. I don't usually complain, it means his hands are on the controller and not all over my daughter!
I have the same problem with Canadian winters. I am convinced nearly every year that this is the year that I will indeed, perish in the cold.
KC has a friend that is so into golf that he pretends to be playing EVERYWHERE he goes.(airgolf???)He looks crazy.
Anyway, I can't really help you. Wish I could..Sorry...

Heidi the Hick said...

You can't know how much it helps me, just knowing that I am not the only one...who doesn't get it....

Really, airgolf? huh. Like air guitar, only dorkier?

Life, or Something Like It said...

Exactly!! I DO get cable, tho. I mean , I get it, and I have it. I am totally addicted to 90210 reruns (hey, don't judge me!!) and I love CSI, and Crossing Jordan..Oh, and Cold Case....yup. I am an addidct. I have gone without cable before, but it SUCKS. I can do it, just don't want to...Besides, the TV keeps the voices in my head quiet......

Angel said...
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JJ said...

Hehehe well you know what they say, there's no accounting for taste...

So that pic of of JD & Vanessa? DANG she looks diff now...too thin. (Is that possible? Yeah, I think so.)

P.S. - what was the timeperiod when JD was with KM? (Bleh!)

Heidi the Hick said...

Angel- huh, I never even thought of that. Interesting criteria for boyfriend choosing... Thanks for the answer!

JJ I am a little concerned about Vanessa. She is too thin. Maybe that boy-child is running her to death. Mine did. I hope she puts some weight on before they have Child #3.

He broke up with Kate Moss in 1998. I think they were together on and off for three years. He's been with Vanessa since 1999.

Proving that I may not understand a lot in this big ol world, but I know waaaaaay too much about some things!!!!

popfizz said...

here's a photo that will clear it all up for you:


your cooperation is appreciated.

The Adult in Question said...

I kind of like poker. Poker is only fun if there are real bets involved such as money and clothes.
Yep, my mom already told you about Trump the air golfer...stresses me out.
KK and Corey = Sims all day and all night. It's way too intense for me.
Can't believe you don't like Terriers. Oh my.
Winter sucks...I hate it. I always think I am going to die of the cold.
Math - don't get it never will. There are waaaayyyyy tooooo many numbers.
I'm glad Johnny has added "awake looking" to his women.

Heidi the Hick said...

popfizz- You might be one of those people who fall under the "scare me" category!

And that didn't help at all. The picture of Lando Calrissian just confused me more!

Heidi the Hick said...

KC- the air golfer's name is Trump? It just gets funnier!

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

What's wrong with Moss? She's a nitwit. That's what's wrong! Case closed.


Should I comment an answer to your three "don't gets" on the original posts? Maybe I'll post them on this one. Yeah, I'll do that. Be right back...

Redneck Nerdboy! said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Okay I'm back! Here's my list of helpful tips for you:

Cable TV – Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

The Arcade Fire – Never heard of them, so they must not be important! :)

Terriers – Good barbequein’.

High level western horse shows – Got laid at one once.

SUVs – Got laid in one once.

politics – Got laid by one once.

Math – I see no reason math should exist.

Time – A prison.

Plastic girls – Prisoners.

Traffic – Another type of prison unless you’re on a tractor.

New subdivisions – A maze inside a prison.

Jessica Simpson – Hahahahahahahaha! ~sniff, wipe a tear~

The stock market – A way to make money if you really, really like money!

Computers – My job security, but a pain in the mortal ass.

Poker – Stupid.

Smoking – Stupid looking.

Gum – Stupid looking, but a way to quit smoking.

Video Games – boring after about 1.3 minutes.

The Flaming Lips - Never heard of them, so they must not be important!

Golf – Stupid, and a great way to start smoking.

Out of balance washing machines – must be thrown away.

Kate Moss Drug Scandal - Hahahahahahahaha! ~sniff, wipe a tear~

Signs on new developments blaring "LIVE WITH NATURE” – We already are, thank you!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Johnny Depp sure does get some hot ass. That 21 Jumpstreet set must have been ass soup.

I read your "I don't get..." post and I have to agree.

What's the deal with poker?

DINK PINK said...


Heidi the Hick said...

Well! I think Redneck Nerdboy just about summed it all up!

Douglas Cootey said...

I don't get Johnny Depp's appeal. Doesn't the guy ever shave? It's like he has permanent 5 o'clock shadow. Doesn't he realize that went out of style with Miami Vice?

Is it bad that my wife gets giggly when he's onscreen?

CindyDianne said...

Ok, and why is Poker on ESPN? If someone can tell me that I'll let them touch my new iPod. LOL (I have an iPod). No really, why? THAT is what I don't get.

I agree with your "I don't get it" on the high end Western Horse shows. What is UP with those fake tails? And all those rhinestones? And the fake smiles? I mean...shouldn't being on a horse rank a real smile?

Coffeypot said...

Here are a few of the thinks I don’t get:
I don’t get paid anymore.
I don’t get laid anymore.
I don’t get respect anymore.
I don’t get Liberal Democrats.
I don’t get why people are more concerned with offending a Muslim than they are about helping him meet a 144 virgins.
I don’t get why hair is growing like weeds in my ears.
And did I mention that I don’t get laid anymore.

My wife said that if I want to get laid to crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait. Isn’t she lovely?

N I F T Y said...

I worked at a golf course all summer. And you know, I STILL don't get golf. The only people who play golf are fat old men with no hair and wads of cash. Rarely were they hot biys who golfed-- and the few who did were jerks. Hate golf.

As for the other stuff... eh, I donno. I'm still working on 'getting' half that stuff! Especially math... *shudder*

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Cable: We don't have cable, but we have satellite. Can't get much without it! Also, we're addicted to HBO and Comedy Central.

SUV's: I have one. I fit the whole family and the dog in it. Without the dog, I can fit a couple more of the kids' friends or separate the 3 rugrats so they don't poke at each other on roadtrips. I also use it to haul big stuff when it's raining and I can't throw it in the back of Cranky's truck.

Johnny: I can't believe you busted him on the jacket! It must be his favorite!

Kate Moss: Poor thing...She took a serious downgrade.

Poker: I played it a lot during Desert Storm in the early 90's. There's not much to do in a tent in the desert. The games were better when we were stateside or in Europe so we could drink though...

Heidi the Hick said...

YANKEE! You have finally cleared it up for me!


Seriously, those things are starting to make sense to me now!!