Monday, December 05, 2005

I'm just a hick, I don't get this stuff.

More things I don't get:

Smoking- smoke goes in, smoke goes out. And you paid for it.

Gum- chew, throw away. Paid for it. Duh.

Video Games- yeah I've gotten sucked in a couple of times too. But it's so useless and unproductive, and totally brain stealing. Nothing like blogging. Now that's useful. heh heh

The Flaming Lips- I'm apparently supposed to like them because all the critics do, and all the indie-rock hipsters do too, and like, they've been on TV and stuff. I think. I would like to like them because it's kind of funny, the name, the white suits on the grey haired frontman, the supposesd famous people hiding in the big stuffed cartoon character suits. I even liked that song about the Vaseline sandwich, and the chorus for the one in the car commercial was great but as a song it was dead boring, and you know what, I just don't get it.

Golf- again, would really like to get it because it seems to be such a great thing, but all htat perfectly manicured grass makes me nervous. I like the rough spots best. And I can't help but think you could go for a nice walk without all the clubs, it would be so much easier. Plus, I think all that land could be used for pasture.

Out of balance washing machines- Come on! Just swish around and get over it! Geez, do I have to babysit EVERYBODY?

Kate Moss Drug Scandal- Is she the first supermodel to do drugs/ get caught/ go to rehab/ be skinny? Why are we all so shocked by this?

Signs on new develepments blaring "LIVE WITH NATURE!" - Right, so when you buy your Magnifimansion backing onto a ravine, you have to hire somebody to get rid of all the skunks and raccoons, because you wanted to Live With Nature, but not that kind. Once the bears and coyotes come around, you're really starting to dislike this nature thing. Do people really think they'll get visits from Bambi and nothing will get chewed up? Huh?

And finally for today, I don't get how I can be born and raised in Canada, and every year at this time I am convinced I will freeze to death before the new year. I never have frozen to death, so how can I be so convinced that the cold will kill me????

Can anybody explain any of these mysterious things to me?


fatrobot said...

i can explain them all
but i won't
no reason
just like being difficult

what kind of farm do you have?
i'd like to raise hydra-scorpion hybrids

Heidi the Hick said...

I was thinking of raising ligers but some idiot stole my idea. My kids want to raise dragons but I'm concerned about fire risk. Can you breed hydras and scorpions or do you have to do some weird gene splicing? You can be difficult, somebody has to be.

fatrobot said...

they get along quite fine

their milk is delicious

Heidi the Hick said...


fatrobot said...

that too

fatrobot said...

that too