Monday, October 24, 2005

Things I don't get

Can anybody explain this wack crap?

Cable TV. It's all crap. Over and over, on every channel. And people pay for it.

The Arcade Fire. Apparently I'm supposed to like them because all the magazines say they are brilliant, but all I see is a bunch of Serious Musicians dressed up like they're going to an opera -see Audioslave vs. Opera- and all I hear is a cacaphony of too many instruments and too much self indulgence. Then the vocals start and I'm thinking about boring things that I have to go do. And how many people are in this band anyways? How many are related and/or married? Why do all their songs sound like wet fuzz on the radio? I don't get it.

Terriers. You would think that I, being a small and loud woman, could appreciate a small and loud dog. But no. These little fighters were developed to be valuable hunters of rodents, they were farm dogs, they were tough and wiry and feisty. Now they've mostly been relegated to stuffed toys that yap their faces off. Okay I'm not being fair. What I really don't get is terrier owners.

High level western horse shows. Take an animal full of pride, survival and speed. Keep it in a totally unnatural environment. Paint its hooves. Now dress yourself up in all synthetic fabrics, ensuring that the outfit only vaguely resembles useful riding clothes, such as what you would wear for actual work. Now ride the horse with a fake smile on your face. Slap the horse silly when after you back him up, he steps on his fake tail extension and pulls it off.

SUVs. Do you want a truck? Get a truck. Want a van? Get a van. None of this halfway in between stuff. I could see the use of those big old Suburbans in the 70's -see Back in the Seventies when our Skulls were Harder-- the kind of vehicle you can put all four kids, both dogs, and a few saddles, and still be able to haul the trailer behind. People who are driving SUVs, from what I see, do not use them as trucks. They are generally trophies.

I just put that last one in there to see if anybody's reading, because people get right rabid when you slag them for driving SUV's! Go ahead, comment, I dare ya! If I don't like it I'll delete it but if you flame me real good I'll share it!

I also don't get politics. You vote, they lie, they do whatever the hell they want anyways. I vote because I value my freedom and my supposed right to choose my country's leaders, but geez, not much to choose from. Oh well. At least in Canada our politicians are funny.

Math. Never did get it. sigh.

Time. If I'm in the tack shop, looking at horse stuff, or in a book store, what feels like 15 minutes is actually an hour. But a trip to the grocery store feels like an hour but it's only 15 minutes. Makes no sense.

Plastic girls. Like he said, and then I was like that, and I'm so not blah blah blah, and omigod I love those shoes, should I get my hair coloured again, ew I'd never work there, that's like gross, my feet hurt, omigod he is so hot, I want a coffee. Can I have a smoke? I hope I never get wrinkles.

Traffic. Where the hell are all you people going? Can't you work in the town you live in? Can't you live in the town you work in? Bus? Train? Put your finger down, jagoff, or I'll put a GMC logo in your mirror. Not that I condone road rage.

New subdivisions. Hey, look at that beautiful field. That would be a great place to build some luxurious mansions. But first we'll have to bulldoze all the natural hills and get rid of those pesky trees. And fill in that runoff. We'll just put a concrete lined pond there instead, and sculpt some symmetrical hills, and plant some spindly seedlings. Then we'll put down sod, spray it to keep it perfect, and name the streets Whispering Willows Lane and Majestic Maple Drive and Cumulus Cloud Court and Plentiful Pond Crescent. People will love it because they want to live near nature. It'll be great.

Jessica Simpson. She is not Daisy Duke. She is not interesting. Make her stop.

The stock market. Snorrrre.


Good night.


Life, or Something Like It said...

I know that this is an old blog. I know that. But I still had to comment. Youdon't get terrier owners? I must remind you that Poodle was 1/2- terri-poo, remember? Make no mistake about it. SHE owned ME. Jessica Simpson. Now THAT'S scary.

Heidi the Hick said...

Biddie- Poodle was the best. No doubt. And you're a good dog person. Notice I said Dog Person, not dog owner!!!!

The Simpson is scary...

Tod said...

Hey! I live in Whispering Willows Drive/Court/Pond! I gotta live somewhere! I had to move here from Scruffy Slums cos it was bad for my nerves. I like terriers too but not fussy ones.

I don't like SUV's tho...can I stay?