I’ve been waiting to see this movie for two years. Honestly. When I heard that the second one would be out in 2006, my reaction was, “2006? Aw man! That’ll never come!”
But tonight we’ll be reunited with Captain Sparrow, that scallywag. The despicable lying cheat. The slippery rascal. That thieving miscreant.
I missed him so.
I am damn near busted hearted over the lack of pictures here. Just imagine what this posting would have looked like with pictures! I'm sorry but you'll have to use your imaginations. I hope I can describe it well enough to do it justice.
Here’s what I’ve managed to gather despite my TV channel-deprived existence:
Poor Elizabeth Swann gets left at the altar and it has something to do with Jack Sparrow. “It never would have worked between us?” Apparently in a script writer’s idea of pathetic fallacy (that’s not dirty, it’s a real literary device in which writers use the weather to describe a person’s mood) it is raining, and poor lovely Elizabeth looks over her shoulder mournfully as her lacy dress wilts.
Oh but Elizabeth is no damsel in distress. Oh heavens no! She is a heroine out for my 21st century heart. She’s going to hack off her hair, Domino Harvey style, and join a pirate crew. I don’t know why exactly, possibly to find Will or something, as usual, or maybe just because it would be fun to hang with a bunch of filthy pirates. “Those clothes are not flattering on you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have an old dress in my cabin.”
I want to know what that’s all about.
I will miss Barbossa terribly. However Davey Jones has shown up to fill the empty spot left by the wonderful Geoffrey Rush. I will always love Bill Nighy for his brilliant stammering Strange Fruit frontman from Still Crazy. (If you love the rock stars you should see Still Crazy.) We will be dragged down to Davey Jones’ locker!
Actually I have nightmares about drowning so that wouldn’t be all that much fun. But I’m still seeing this movie.
Also Jack is rightfully made godlike king of a tribe of some kind. "And then they made me their king." Although I have a feeling things take a turn for the Not Good.
I’m not really sure what the handsome strapping young Will Turner is up to now. Letting his honourable mouth get him into some kind of trouble. That boy needs some guidance. Orlando Bloom is so cute and young and he makes me feel like a dirty old woman. I just felt the need to share that. I shouldn’t have, but I did.
JUST FOR THE RECORD I also want to share that I predicted the return of Bootstrap Bill about two years ago, right around the time I heard about the sequel thing, which coincided with my twentieth or so viewing of the Curse of the Black Pearl. Furthermore, I generally hate sequels. I’m going on record as publicly hoping that this one doesn’t suck.
And finally, I must ask myself, why the hell would Pirates have any appeal to this farm girl? You may be thinking it’s all about Johnny and while I admit that’s currently part of it, it goes back.
Oh...have I ever mentioned that I very much enjoy the dramatic stylings of Johnny Depp?
When I was a kid I read a book called Moonfleet. It both scared and fascinated me. It was about smuggling and pirates. Then I read Treasure Island. Found it slow moving in places but did I ever love that deceptively friendly Long John Silver.
I’m a total landlubber. I’m not good with boats. (Grew up on a farm. Contact with water: horse trough.) But I’m also, deep down, a rebel. I try to play by the rules, really I do, but I sure enjoy escaping to a world where rules were made to be broken; where the codes of honour were binding between brothers in crime and all good clean things were meant to be sneered upon.