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Friday, July 07, 2006

SAVVY?

I’ve been waiting to see this movie for two years. Honestly. When I heard that the second one would be out in 2006, my reaction was, “2006? Aw man! That’ll never come!”

But tonight we’ll be reunited with Captain Sparrow, that scallywag. The despicable lying cheat. The slippery rascal. That thieving miscreant.

I missed him so.

I am damn near busted hearted over the lack of pictures here. Just imagine what this posting would have looked like with pictures! I'm sorry but you'll have to use your imaginations. I hope I can describe it well enough to do it justice.

Here’s what I’ve managed to gather despite my TV channel-deprived existence:

Poor Elizabeth Swann gets left at the altar and it has something to do with Jack Sparrow. “It never would have worked between us?” Apparently in a script writer’s idea of pathetic fallacy (that’s not dirty, it’s a real literary device in which writers use the weather to describe a person’s mood) it is raining, and poor lovely Elizabeth looks over her shoulder mournfully as her lacy dress wilts.

Oh but Elizabeth is no damsel in distress. Oh heavens no! She is a heroine out for my 21st century heart. She’s going to hack off her hair, Domino Harvey style, and join a pirate crew. I don’t know why exactly, possibly to find Will or something, as usual, or maybe just because it would be fun to hang with a bunch of filthy pirates. “Those clothes are not flattering on you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have an old dress in my cabin.”

I want to know what that’s all about.

I will miss Barbossa terribly. However Davey Jones has shown up to fill the empty spot left by the wonderful Geoffrey Rush. I will always love Bill Nighy for his brilliant stammering Strange Fruit frontman from Still Crazy. (If you love the rock stars you should see Still Crazy.) We will be dragged down to Davey Jones’ locker!

Actually I have nightmares about drowning so that wouldn’t be all that much fun. But I’m still seeing this movie.

Also Jack is rightfully made godlike king of a tribe of some kind. "And then they made me their king." Although I have a feeling things take a turn for the Not Good.

I’m not really sure what the handsome strapping young Will Turner is up to now. Letting his honourable mouth get him into some kind of trouble. That boy needs some guidance. Orlando Bloom is so cute and young and he makes me feel like a dirty old woman. I just felt the need to share that. I shouldn’t have, but I did.

JUST FOR THE RECORD I also want to share that I predicted the return of Bootstrap Bill about two years ago, right around the time I heard about the sequel thing, which coincided with my twentieth or so viewing of the Curse of the Black Pearl. Furthermore, I generally hate sequels. I’m going on record as publicly hoping that this one doesn’t suck.

And finally, I must ask myself, why the hell would Pirates have any appeal to this farm girl? You may be thinking it’s all about Johnny and while I admit that’s currently part of it, it goes back.

Oh...have I ever mentioned that I very much enjoy the dramatic stylings of Johnny Depp?

When I was a kid I read a book called Moonfleet. It both scared and fascinated me. It was about smuggling and pirates. Then I read Treasure Island. Found it slow moving in places but did I ever love that deceptively friendly Long John Silver.

I’m a total landlubber. I’m not good with boats. (Grew up on a farm. Contact with water: horse trough.) But I’m also, deep down, a rebel. I try to play by the rules, really I do, but I sure enjoy escaping to a world where rules were made to be broken; where the codes of honour were binding between brothers in crime and all good clean things were meant to be sneered upon.

Savvy?

16 comments:

Life, or Something Like It said...

There is a matinee starting at 3:15,K.K and K.C are DYING, I swear, DYING to see Pirates.I must admit,I love Johnny in the Captain Jack role.Yummy......

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh crap, I won't be ready to go at 3:15! DO NOT call me and tell me what happens!!!!!!!

Oh it's a happy day!

CindyDianne said...

"But I’m also, deep down, a rebel. I try to play by the rules, really I do..."

Were we separated at birth?

dilling said...

DON'T GIVE ANY OF IT AWAY! I am off to Victoria for camping this weekend and won't see it until Tuesday(sob)! I may have to leave the campground and find a theatre...who knew that there were others out there as devoted?!? It's comforting, somehow...

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

I love the Pirate cultures, Tortuga and East Coast trading stories. Very nice. My wife REALLY loves Depp, So I will be forced to take her to see this one!

Too bad for me, huh? Haha!

Heidi the Hick said...

Cindy, it's possible!

Dilling- My sister and I saw the first one together the night it opened. She has to work tonight, wah! We're going on Tuesday too. I won't spoil it. Promise!

Red- the history is fascinating! The kids and I got tons of books out of the library and bought a few, and gave ourselves pirate names and everything!

Yeah Capt Jack his this...EFFECT...on the womenfolk. So tell Jewel to enjoy and you just have yourself a good night, REDBEARD!

JJ said...

Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me... And really bad eggs.

Can't wait! Can't wait! Three and a half more hours! Yippee! I mean, ahoy me mateys!

Elmo said...

I don't know what to think about this no picture thing, but if you need to ROCK! today's band of the week will do.

Later, I gotta go to the show...

JewelKowing said...

Is Depp still yummy???

Simply Amethyst said...

I have that same fascination with pirates...lol
Have you ever read "Frenchman's Creek" by Daphne DuMaurier? Mmmm... very good story, about a rich man's wife and a pirate...lol
Johnny is the ultimate pirate, though, I must say...

Simply Amethyst said...

P.S. Check out the book at: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/d/daphne-du-maurier/frenchmans-creek.htm

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Heidi the Hick said...

Elmo, I can't get your blog to load! #@#@ dial up...I'll look you up again in a couple of days. Promise.

Amethyst- yes, he's the best pirate. Orlando looks more like Errol Flynn but Johnny is the ultimate. I have to look up that book....

Jewel, yes, he is still yummy. Yes.

Everybody, Askinstoo has a huge crush on me and is too shy to say so. Don't look at his blog. I don't like cowards. So there, ha ha ha

Heidi the Hick said...

okay me loveys, I'm off for a few days. Come back in the middle of the week and i'll give you some pictures to look at.

jo(e) said...

I just have to say the quote was "I happen to have no dress in my cabin."

One of the few funny lines in the movie ....

Heidi the Hick said...

jo(e)-- I caught that after I saw it. Way funnier that way!