Pink Hoof Polish, Big Boobs, and the Fine Line Between Funny and Awesome

You know here at Hick Chic, it's all about the clothes.  Okay, not all about... there's a lot of stuff about reading and writing and music and critters in general, and of course some drooling over the menfolk, but overall, I'm interested in the overalls.  Haha.  Geddit?  

I like clothes.  I usually look like a slob, but I like to think I pull it off with style.  That's why I called this place Hick Chic as opposed to Hick Slovenly.  I love jeans and boots, I love denim and corduroy and leather.  I like coveralls!  I like make up but I don't wear it often.  I like fashion magazines, even if it's just to snicker at.  I love the clothing aisle at TSC.  I hate shopping, but I love clothes.

You might also know that my favourite colour is pink.  If you've been reading long enough you might remember me saying how much I used to hate pink, until my brain got rewired by a mental short circuit called depression and suddenly I liked pink so much I had to dye my hair pink.  

I like it so much now that I got a pink saddle blanket for the little Mare.  It matches her little pink muzzle.  I plan to go down to the local tack shop soon and buy her a pink hoof pick.  They have pink tack boxes too.  My son's not thrilled that I'm outfitting his horse in such a girly colour but I tell him it's her stuff, not his.  

When I was competing at the local saddle club, I tacked up my horse in some colourful gear.  I put him in his respectable bridle for the performance classes, but when it was time for speed games, he wore his headstall with a hot pink curb strap under his chin and aqua green gaming reins.  His saddle blanket was a black navajo with pink green and purple stripes.  I wore a purple and aqua shirt.  He also had red bell boots on his feet.  I couldn't find any in purple.  Man, we were stylin.  I could find some bright colourful western gear at that time and felt sorry for all the english riders who had to stick with navy, hunter green, burgundy, grey and beige.  Blahhhhhhh...  

But for the last couple of years I've been seeing more and more bling and bright at the tack shops.  English tack and apparel are getting an injection of sass.  Western gear isn't easy to find up here in "Horse Country" in any case, with all the hunter/ jumper barns in the area.  I think it's nice to see some fun in the displays.

I think it's fun.  Not all equestrians agree, but that's fine with me.  I'd rather be a cowgirl anyways. 

Then I saw something yesterday that pretty much blew my mind.  I found this amazing funny/ tacky/ scary/ ridiculous/ awesome entry on one of my favourite blogs, Go Fug Yourself.

Apparently, a woman who is famous in England for being a Glamour Model- author- reality TV show star, has rolled out her own line of tack and apparel.  I wasn't totally sure what a Glamour Model does, but I think it involves topless photos and "lad mags" which explains my ignorance.  I'm thinking she's famous for being famous.  Whatevs, all I know is she's got giant boobs and wears a lot of make up.  And she likes pink.

I mean, she really likes pink.  Maybe even more than I do.

I have a bizarre fascination/ repulsion with this photo!  I love her braids (I do that!) and I like her big smile.  Those pink high heels are killing me, I want them, but where the heck would I wear them??? and wouldn't they be difficult in the stirrup?  It's hilarious that she's got that cute polo top tied at the front like a 14 year old girl would.  The pose?  hee hee.  Classic.  But most of all, the look on that horse's face.  

"Holy crap!  Are my hooves pink?  They are?  My hooves are painted PINK?????"

Well, my curiosity got the best of me.  I had a sink full of dishes that needed - I mean, really needed - to soak for awhile, so I did some checking around.  Turns out that our girl Katie Price here has been very busy.  According to my research, she's been into horses since childhood and people say she's actually a very decent, quiet rider.  I can't help but think she must have a hard time with her balance, with those toothpick legs and giant bazoombas.  I wouldn't know from experience what that's like.  I have a very low centre of gravity, if y'know what I mean.

I found some other pictures, which were not much like that eye popping display above.  Actually quite nice, well lit, pretty photos.

  

Her hair looks great, her horse looks happy, and that's a darn cute hoodie she's wearing.  So I went looking for her website, and you know what?  It's not so bad at all.  I mean, go take a look.  It's not all Barbie Dream Horse.  Not totally.  I had to snicker because in most of the horse discussion forums I read, people defended Ms Price as both a person and a rider, but then went on to say they likely wouldn't be buying her clothes.  Well, it's not really for me because I ride western, but I can't help but wonder how this top would look paired with Wranglers and Ropers.

And my Little Mare would look so cute in this although she's never worn a blanket in her life!

I do think they've tried to play down the large bustiness for the sake of the very respectable equestrian community in England.  I also think they've got a few items of clothing that have almost nothing to do with riding.  I think she's used what I suspect is the Glamour Model Face a few times.  And it's really, really overwhelmingly pink, even for me.  But dudes, I think if I spent my days in britches and field boots, I might pick up a few of these to "put some glamour and sparkle into my riding!"

But being me, cheap, stingy, practical, hick hillbilly me, I think I'll just go on shopping in the used section of the local tack shop.  And treat myself every now and then at TSC.