We only have this weekend left...

...but the radio told me that it will be a warm, cloudless, blue sky kind of weekend. I must soak it up.




I get totally melancholy this time of year. Miserable. Mourning. As of next Tuesday, our two months of freedom are over. Back to the three ring circus of school and life. Back to the grind.

(Stay with me here...it gets better and there will be more pictures.)


This year, despite having what my husband calls a Rockin Good Summer, I feel the same way. Truth is I always do. This year, I didn't reach all my goals. I didn't complete my Level 3 Rider test. I didn't get my query letter sent out to ten agents. I didn't start writing the next book. I haven't even been out to the farm since the end of July. I haven't ridden my horses in over a month.

Worse...I got bucked off my own horse. And um...it wasn't just once either.

I am not very happy about this.

It's not how I envisioned my summer going.

So, I sit here on a Friday, on the verge of the last long weekend of the summer, realizing that I have a choice.

I HAVE A CHOICE.

I can commiserate on how crappy my summer was...or I can look at all the good that happened.

I am very close to completing my Level 3 Rider test. I could pass it now, as long as I give the book a good read over before the written portion, which has been the toughest for me so far. I tend to blank out when faced with multiple choice. I can ride the test easily and I know what I have to do for the stable management portion. But I took the pressure off. Susan's baby is due, like, two days ago, and I figured I can just as easily do the test in October when she's back on her feet. She plans to start teaching again by then. I will become a certified riding coach, and I don't have to rush it. The more methodically I go through the process, the better it will stick in my head.

I got my query letter to one agent, who I like very much, and got the best rejection of my life. He explained to me, and anybody else who reads his blog, how I can better use my book's selling points to attract interest for it. It was a totally brain expanding experience! It made me go back and take another good hard unflinching look at my entire book, and realize that I'd been selling the whole book short. The point of the story made sense to me...but I wrote it. Would somebody who came from a totally different place get it? I went through another grueling edit. Now, it's ready. I've got a list of agents, all carefully researched and narrowed down. The query letter has been dismantled, reassembled, and scrutinized. I feel so grateful for that rejection. Sure it feels like I've been slowed down; I wanted to have an agent by the end of the summer. But I plan to make this into a long career. I will be doing this ten years from now. I decided not to make fast and eager mistakes now. Why rush it for the sake of two months?

I didn't start writing the next book. Nope, I didn't. I started taking notes on TWO new books. I don't know which one I'll write first, but I know I won't run out of something to work on. I like that feeling.

We've got a plan to get me my own barn. We are putting the steps in place to make it happen.


I'm going to hang this picture beside my bridle rack.

I had a completely farmless August, and haven't had time for my horses, but I did get out to Susan's a few times and feel like I've really made progress. Sometimes I have to remind myself that there is a six year old mare out there who started off with me as a scrawny sad lame little filly whose mama didn't want her.


She is now a lovely little horse with a big round hip and a cute face, who will happily carry a kid around, bareback, saddled, whichever. She wears a nice little curb bit in her mouth, and can walk, jog and lope on command. She'll turn on a leg cue and a neck rein. And you know what? I did that. I trained that horse. She is still quite green, and far from perfect, but...she's only been ridden on weekends. She's never really had consistent training. Phoenix will turn out okay. He had his two months at the trainer when he was a youngster. He has a clue. He's smart, and strong, and has a mind of his own. Just how I like 'em!



I still miss ol Champ. I find myself wishing I had one reliable horse, rather than two six year olds who will probably be reliable. He wasn't either at this age. It takes time to make a good horse. Next year will be different yet again.

It hasn't been a wasted summer. I've been to the beach a few times and plan another one this weekend. I saw FOUR movies this summer. I read a pile of books. My kids read a couple of books each. I went to two concerts with someone I've been friends with for over twenty years and had never been to a concert with before. I cleaned up my bookcase and realized that it's a dream I've made come true for myself- I have my own library.

I know that as much as I hate giving them back, having the kids in school means I can get more work done. I can devote a few hours a day to writing and the business of getting my book published, and getting back into the routine of going out to Susan's barn twice each week. I won't spend as much time each day reminding my kids that it is not my job to juggle flaming chainsaws for their entertainment. I'll get back to my exercise class once a week to keep my back in decent shape. It'll be okay. They will be, I will be.

We're at a crossroads. The kids are bigger and more capable, developing their independence. I'm getting my stuff going on. Poor ol Jethro's looking at some huge changes in his work situation.

And you know what? Now that I've typed it, it's done for today. Done for the weekend. I'm going to do some yard work, visit my horses, visit the beach, and not think about this again until Monday night.

Until then...I leave you with this...