Mennonite Farmer Loogie!

Last week, I reported on my day at the studio where my husband goes to tap away at a computer and mix muzak for those CDs that will be displayed at the drug store, beside the bubble bath. I poked holes in any theories you might have had about the rockin world of the recording studio.

Jethro himself left a comment to set the facts straight about Axl Rose. Here's what he said:

Well, for the record it was actually Axl that was horking, and it was in the vocal booth while singing (which we had to clean up in the morning). The only thing we ever heard out of Slash was "Heeeey Maaaan, you gaaaht any quaaarters dude?" (his American quarters wouldn't work in the KISS pinball machine... Those guys really did leave a trail of destruction everywhere they went ( and a lot of pissed off promoters, studio owners, drivers, techs, well the list is endless, really...myself included). If Axl had a flat tire on a deserted road in the Arizona desert, and I came along, I'd have to really fight down the urge to slow down and hork a great big Mennonite Farmer Loogie at the guy, and insted, silently help him out.

I suggest you read that over again and really savour it.

I wonder how many people will find that on google?

WHAT, some of you may be asking, ON EARTH is a Mennonite Farmer Loogie? Well, it never really occurred to me to even call it that because I grew up knowing that when you're out in the barn, you get dust in your nose and throat, and sometimes you really gotta just haul back on it and send it flying. Great viscous gobs of snot. It's so very satisfying to spit that out. Even saying it feels pretty good.

My dad, and his dad before him, and countless other farmers-- I really don't think it's exclusively a Mennonite thing-- got good at the Gutter Nose Blow. It's like this: farmers don't carry kleenex around in their coveralls.

You get a drippy nose. You stand over the gutter. Hold your head over the gutter. You press the tip of your finger against one nostil. Now- Blow! Sharp! Quick! Let it fly! Didn't get it all out? Give it another blast!

My old man was so good at it he could do it all in one slick movement.

Did I ever mention that my dad is one of my heroes? Jethro didn't grow up with a Mennonite farmer dad. He's got one for a father-in-law instead. Yes, he's working on his Loogie Technique. Just, not in the control room at the studio...