www.flickr.com

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Mennonite Farmer Loogie!

Last week, I reported on my day at the studio where my husband goes to tap away at a computer and mix muzak for those CDs that will be displayed at the drug store, beside the bubble bath. I poked holes in any theories you might have had about the rockin world of the recording studio.

Jethro himself left a comment to set the facts straight about Axl Rose. Here's what he said:

Well, for the record it was actually Axl that was horking, and it was in the vocal booth while singing (which we had to clean up in the morning). The only thing we ever heard out of Slash was "Heeeey Maaaan, you gaaaht any quaaarters dude?" (his American quarters wouldn't work in the KISS pinball machine... Those guys really did leave a trail of destruction everywhere they went ( and a lot of pissed off promoters, studio owners, drivers, techs, well the list is endless, really...myself included). If Axl had a flat tire on a deserted road in the Arizona desert, and I came along, I'd have to really fight down the urge to slow down and hork a great big Mennonite Farmer Loogie at the guy, and insted, silently help him out.

I suggest you read that over again and really savour it.

I wonder how many people will find that on google?

WHAT, some of you may be asking, ON EARTH is a Mennonite Farmer Loogie? Well, it never really occurred to me to even call it that because I grew up knowing that when you're out in the barn, you get dust in your nose and throat, and sometimes you really gotta just haul back on it and send it flying. Great viscous gobs of snot. It's so very satisfying to spit that out. Even saying it feels pretty good.

My dad, and his dad before him, and countless other farmers-- I really don't think it's exclusively a Mennonite thing-- got good at the Gutter Nose Blow. It's like this: farmers don't carry kleenex around in their coveralls.

You get a drippy nose. You stand over the gutter. Hold your head over the gutter. You press the tip of your finger against one nostil. Now- Blow! Sharp! Quick! Let it fly! Didn't get it all out? Give it another blast!

My old man was so good at it he could do it all in one slick movement.

Did I ever mention that my dad is one of my heroes? Jethro didn't grow up with a Mennonite farmer dad. He's got one for a father-in-law instead. Yes, he's working on his Loogie Technique. Just, not in the control room at the studio...

19 comments:

Life, or Something Like It said...

Everytime that I hear a GNR song I think about that day at the studio. I always knew that he was an ass hat, but Jethro confirmed it for me with that story. Yuck.
He deserves a big ol loogie.
Thanks for sharing that.

cara winsor hehir said...

lovely!
snot rockets, sure way to charm a lady into the hay loft!!

Heidi the Hick said...

Biddie- big ol loogie! Sweet Child o Loogie! Welcome to the Loogie!!!!

You're welcome!

Cara- awesome! You have a way with words, my dear!

Life, or Something Like It said...

Snot rockets! I love it!

cara winsor hehir said...

i've work on a pony farm, i know what what goes down, missus.

Timmy said...

HA! I love hockin a loogie! Grossing people out ROCKS!

Notsocranky Yankee said...

I went to a GNR concert about 15 years ago. Metallica got the crowd going and then GNR didn't come out for a WICKED long time because Axl was having a hissy fit or something. I ended up leaving before GNR finished because I just couldn't get into it (and also because a certain boyfriend named Cranky was supposed to be getting back home...)

I used to run with a girl who could blow snots out of her nose without even slowing down. I always needed to stay upwind of her...

Thanks for the great studio stories! I'm a little behind on my comments - sorry!

Simply Amethyst said...

Every man I grew up around did(does) that... My dh included, of course, he has to be a bit more careful so as not to get "caught up" by his bushy mustache! :-P

Heidi the Hick said...

amethyst, I dont' know if you can tell by the blurry backlit photo, but my dad has a full beard and mustache too. It just requires extra practice to get that snot rocket outta there quickly and cleanly!!

Yankee- d'ya think Axl ever had an onstage meltdown for attention or do you think he has real emotional problems???? Opinion??

Timmy, you're hockin and rockin, buddy!

CindyDianne said...

What if a farmer did carry a kleenex anyway? What would they do with the used one? Throw it down? No. Put it back in the Carhart? Ewh, no. See, it's more efficient to NOT carry a kleenex if you are a farmer! ;-)

Heidi the Hick said...

Cindy...EXACTLY!!

coffeypot said...

Thar she blows!

The Adult in Question said...

Gross. Axl and Snot Rockets.

Heidi the Hick said...

That's what I'm gonna call my country punk heavy metal blues band.

Thanks, KC!

Smartypants said...

Oh. Ick.

Loogies. Ugh.

Heidi, I highly recommend the sugar scrub at the spa. My skin has never been softer or smoother.

terry said...

this makes my sinuses hurt....!

captain corky said...

Jethro should have grabbed Axl by the hair and used his head to mop up the spit. Axl Rose is a scum bag.

Notsocranky Yankee said...

I think it was a little bit of both. Axl was definately an attention-whore but he also seemed unstable. Who knows with money and success, very few people remain true to their personality.

Heidi the Hick said...

Smarty- it's okay as long as you don't get it on you. Now, Sugar Scrub. that sounds appealing!

Terry- that's why you gotta get it outta ya!

Corky, haha!

Yankee- it always seems to me that it's a bad idea to take extremely volatile creative young people with really out-there ideas, give them loads of adoration and piles of money. Y'know?