Friday, February 06, 2015

Johnny Friday - Wedding and Mixed Feelings Edition

I heard Johnny Depp got married this week.  Congratulations you two crazy kids!

He claims to be happy and I just want our Johnny to be happy.  Because he has brought me so much happiness over the years.  (yep sounds cheesy but it's true.)

She seems like a really cool chick who drives a late 60s Mustang and likes to take her shotgun to the shootin' range, and she reads a lot of obscure literature and you just know Johnny loves anything obscure, so they have things to discuss.  Plus, she's lovely to look at, if that matters.

Although… she's a little generic looking…. I mean, there are just so many pretty young blond women.  They all sort of blend.  Johnny has a type, but all of his his steady women have been outside of the norm.   I'm still biased in favour of Vanessa, with whom Johnny seemed to be at his absolute best.

She is pretty but just slightly off in a way I can't put my finger on, but which makes her so interesting and unique. She's got an overbite and a huge gap between her teeth, but her imperfections are intriguing.

Vanessa Paradis is never generic.  

It's not fair to compare the two women, but I just did, and I don't even know these people.  How crappy of me.

And are we going to talk about the age difference?  Are we?  Okay we are.  He's 51, she's 28.

gahhhhhhhhhh just paint her red and call her Ferrari.

(Sorry Amber.  I'm sure you're a good hang, but this is how it looks.)

If they looked genuinely happy about the whole arrangement, I'd be all for it.  Honestly.  But they don't.  They don't appear to be miserable, but they just are kind of there.  Of course, he always looks like he's itching and being poked with hot things when he's in public.  Maybe it's not as a result of a boring relationship.  Maybe he's just getting worse at leaving the house in his middle age.

"Yeah, we're here."

"I am the luckiest guy in the world."

Here's what really troubles me: he just has been looking not so good at all lately.

Rubbery, pale and greasy.  It's hard to uglify his beauty - and he's tried hard in many movies - and up until this last year I thought he was aging beautifully.  However, ill health does not look good at any age.

Remember when he showed up looking super hammered at an awards show recently and I said I hoped he was just good old drunk and not heading into some horrible disease that will rob him of the ability to walk a straight line and speak clearly?  Drunkenness can be dealt with.  Not easily, but it's possible.  And if that's the problem, I sincerely hope he takes care of it.  Selfishly, in fact, because even though I haven't paid to see a movie in a long stretch of time, I want him to be well and keep making movies.

I hope she is good for him.  I hope they are as in love as he claims they are.

I hope it gets easier to find pictures of them together where he's smiling.  


Sigh.  Oh Johnny, I'll always be willing to pull a lady out of a burning building for you.  

Geez, I just realized I wrote a whole post about Johnny and Amber getting married and I wrote about Vanessa.  Oh wow I am part of the problem.  Sorry Amber.  Please go have a fantastic career despite your husband.


shadowlake2005 said...

Bahahaha--thank you for the first out-loud laugh of my nearly finished day.

Heidi the Hick said...

It's what I can do for you.

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