Thursday, October 20, 2011

Little Hick, Big City: day one

Thursday October 20,
It’s a darn good thing Jethro brought me with him.  I’m doing such a good job of keeping him calm.  He’d be a nervous wreck without me here beside him.
Pffft.  I am useless in the city.  Useless!  I don’t even think I could cross a street without clinging to his hand.  I damn near left hand-shaped craters in his arm after that flight.  For the first time in six years of one flight per year whether I like it or not, I got on a plane without Lorazepam.  Yep. I flew straight. Might have been a bad idea.  It was so much easier when I had them little white pills.  But.  I’m feeling much better now.  
As for the Big Bad City, I have to say, so far, this isn’t so bad. Our hotel is on 10th Avenue.  The street below is wide and busy, but really not shockingly busy.  Just normal city busy.  I hate to say it, but to me, most cities are similar and kind of blend into each other in my memory.  Things like side streets and franchises all look the same.  
As soon as we got out of the cab, the wind gave us a nasty sandblasting with Manhattan dirt.  Man that is repulsive.  I’ve had a mouthful of grit before, plenty of times, but it was Punkeydoodles dirt and I knew pretty much where it’d been before it ended up blowing into my face.  This morning I was standing there in the lobby of this ultra-cool hotel being horrified by the grit between my molars and really wishing I could spit.  
It’s not wall to wall people here though, at least not on this street.  Traffic is constant though.  Jethro saw a sign on this intersection that there is a $350 fine for honking the horn.  Then he told me I probably shouldn’t spit because that’s likely illegal too.  Argh.  How do New Yorkers get the grit out of their mouths???
Most of that traffic is yellow cabs.  I’ve never seen that much yellow.  That, so far, is what I expected, from watching movies. You always see cabs in movies.  The rest of the vehicles are delivery trucks and big black SUVs.  Who are these people?  A Suburban is hard enough to park in Kitchener let alone NYC and then these guys get out wearing suits and I wonder what the heck they do for a living, then decide I might not want to know and probably don’t care.  
I’ve learned very quickly to pick out the audio engineers.  They’re often a combination of slightly nerdy, slightly pale, and just a little bit overweight.  Also they’re wearing badges around their necks and carrying little AES booklets.  So pretty easy to spot.  Last week it was Comicon in the convention centre.  Those guys must have been real easy to pick out of a crowd!
My Hick-in-NYC outfit for today is: 
running shoes
Mavi jeans
Soundgarden T shirt
Kermit THE frog green sweatshirt
pink John Deere hat.
I’ve decided to walk around with my hood up.  It helps keep the wind out of my ears but also helps keep the filth out of my hair.  
It’s kinda funny that out in the country the wind knocks me over because there’s nothing to stop it and here in the big city the wind knocks me over because it picks up speed between the buildings.  
Anyways, didn’t get to see Tony Bennett at the conference.  His producer, Phil Ramone, was there, and also his son Dae Bennett.  They did a little chit chat about making the album, live off the floor, no click track, the old fashioned way like Tony likes it, and of course, how he is Tony Bennett and is awesome.  He chose to stay home today because he’s a busy man, touring and performing, and he’s 85, and if he wants a rest he’s entitled.  
They showed a little video about The Making Of Duets II.  Of course it was all very slick and fawning.  John Mayer was adorably awkward and nervous and kid-like.  They ended the video with Amy Winehouse which was killer.  In every way.  Other than Amy, the real firecracker was Lady Gaga, or as I like to call her, (clench teeth first) Ssssstefanie!!!   She’s a hoot and really should sing with Tony more often.  She can do so much better than she sings on her big hits, which to me sound like she’s just doing as much as it takes and no more.  Also, she cannot ever get a nose job because otherwise I’ll never recognize her.  But that’s just my opinion, which nobody asked for cuz I don’t really know what I’m talking about.  
Back home on the farm, it’s still raining.  The kids are taking care of critters and life goes on.  
I think until Jethro comes back from the conference, I’ll pretend to be a famous author who’s holed herself up in a funky slick little hotel room in order to be away from everything which distracts her from finishing that much anticipated novel.  There’s a purple light on the wall.  It’s really cool. 


Paul Tee said...

Room service? I would like to order ...

For appetizer skewered shrimp with mushroom and chive dipping sauce and toasted millground bread...

To drink, 2 bottles of Perrier water and a carafe of your finest vintage vine...

Fr main course, slowly roasted, succulent, Peking Duck with a pomegranate glaze, served with almond and water cress, roasted new potatoes, asparagus in a light lemon sauce, with a spring mix salad with Newburg dressing...

For desert, red current sherbet, and an assorted plate of French pastries...

Please don't forget the single rose... almost a second honeymoon...

What room???

Try the room with a young lady with long brown hair under a John Deer cap, sure to be wearing something shocking pink and black, and maybe boots... and yes, hanging onto a tall, good-looking husband...

She could also be at the curb, feeding carrots to the carriage horses that go around Central Park...

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah! I like that idea!!

In reality I can't afford to think about room service. I'd love to do it someday but I'm too cheap!

I'm spending lots of time at the Yotel by myself while he goes off to do engineer -y stuff. But it's cool. Nobody bugging me!

Gotta admit. It sure is nice getting away with him.

And of course I'd love to bring the teenagers here someday.

I have yet to see a horse. Or central park. Tomorrow I hope!

Paul maybe we can get closer to your version of the story on Monday when the conference is over but we're waiting for our cheap flight outta town!

Heidi Willis said...

Really?Grit in your teeth?? That is so strange! I've never had that! Must be special so you feel at home. :)

Those yellow cabs are something, eh? Have you seen the TV show Cash Cab? They surprise people getting into certain cabs with a form of game show while they take them where they are going. You can end up with loads of cash. That would have been great for yoU! :)

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