Thursday, June 23, 2011

Need some distraction from the DIY detox recovery. Have some MMVA. (lots of pix & linx and things)

It's taken me four days to write this.  It's almost Friday and you know we like some Johnny on a Friday.

Ahhh.  Okay.

So folks, although I'm still spending my time sweating it all out and sleeping it off, I'm slowly getting better.  I'm feeling better enough to start getting impatient.  I'm starting to look forward to living again.  Hey.  Did you know I used to actually go outside?  As soon as everything's less loud and shocky I intend to be out there again.

But hey! I can now look at a computer or read for a while before my eyeballs get all prickly.  Can't watch TV yet.  Tried to watch So Ya Think Ya Dance Good Do Ya and wow.  Flashy!  Shocky!  Ow!! SO happy I can read and type without getting all shocky and shooty, because while I was lying here in a dark room clenching my jaw in agony I occupied my mind by inventing stories and now, I gotta write 'em all down!!!!

I didn't watch the MMVAs on Sunday night.  I stopped caring.  It was my second time  I'd left the house in almost three weeks and I was worn out.  I didn't want to look at anything by evening.  That's what INTERMITTENT NET is for.  Why don't I just do a little commentary on a show I didn't watch, I mean, why not, chances are good you didn't watch it either?!

PICTURES: They came from the MuchMusic website, a couple of Canadian national newspaper sites, and my favourite - GO FUG YOURSELF.  In fact for a complete and funny commentary just go read Heather's take on it.  I snickered.  She totally did the Carpet-and-drapes joke I was gonna make.

First, I'd like to start with something I should just make a regular feature here at Hick Chic called DANGIT AVRIL!  Gah.  I tried to be all disdainful of the gum-chewing wise-cracking punk princess pink hair thing.  (Yeah the pink hair thing was totally my idea first.) I'm kind of neutral about her music but I give her credit for writing it herself, being able to play guitar and for **singing live** so basically what I'm saying is,

DANGIT AVRIL you won me over again, again.

How can I stay irritated with that smile?  

I am irritated with one of the intermittent net news sites which claimed that Avril arrived in a lime green Camaro SS.  FOREHEAD SLAP.  First of all, I don't know where this is called lime.  This is classic Generous Motors Early 70s Slime green.  Duh!

Second, THAT IS NOT A CAMARO.  Duh much?  Clearly by the shape of the door and quarter window it is a Chevelle or Malibu.   Isn't it obvious by the double headlights that this is a Chevelle?  Did the Camaro have double headlights in the early 70s?  No it did not.  Just duh.  Non-car people should CHECK THEIR FACTS.  So frustrating!

See now my eyeballs really hurt.  Break time.

Okay I'm back.

Sadly, Avril's outfit is also visually uncomfortable.

Dangit, Avril!

So the host of this little shindig was a totally adorable young lady who I have only heard of because she's got this boyfriend who grew up around my neck of the woods meaning that even more than the rest of the planet there is no escaping the Biebs out here in farm country I'm not even kidding.

 I'm not up on what her thing is or if she's good at the thing she does.  I just know she's really cute...

...and because I am the mother of a 17 year old girl, I want ask this 18 year old girl, "Have you been eating well sweetie?  Are you getting enough sleep?"  Especially since it was all over the news that she'd been hospitalized the week before.  Well no wonder, the way she's been zigzagging all over North America.  The noise in Stratford alone a couple weeks ago would be enough to bust her head.

Anyways, Famous Boyfriend was supposedly not going to be there.  Yeah right.

This picture cracks me up.  He's all, Dude! Check out the hot chick with the high-waisted jeans on my T shirt!  It's VINTAGE! She's gotta be like, THIRTY-FIVE or something now!!!  Yeah baby!

Is that Tiffani Theissen?  I always wondered if she was of the Manitoba Mennonite Thiessens.  

But whatevs, Biebs.  I was onto that like, thirty years ago.  When your mom was a baby.  Cuz Dude, I had A SHAUN CASSIDY T SHIRT.  

It was just like that but in royal blue and I think my auntie gave it to me.  I know she gave me the Hooked On Horses T shirt.  Anyways, my Shaun Cassidy shirt totally erases his shirt.  Just does.  

This picture of The Gombiebs makes me snicker.  Look at the little horndog's face.  Oh yeah, just lean over juuuuust like that, in your dangerous little halter top, uh huh.  Teenage boys are so sneaky that way.   Yeah it's normal and all, but watch where ya put that hand there, hotshot.

Well I do think they're a nice little couple.  In their line of work they can understand each other. 

And I'd keep going if I could turn this computer screen down a little but it won't go any dimmer so it's time for another eyeball break.  

Aaaand I'm back.  At least I can type now without electric shocks going up and down my arms!!!

Enough sugar coating.  TIME TO ROCK.

 I love these guys.  

Tell me, worldwide friends, are you aware of this band?  If not, go check them out !  We've seen them live a couple times and man, what a show!  They are a scream and a half live!!!   

Love the tunes, love the playing, love the lyrics.  

And by the way, Billy Talent is the BAND.  The frantically hot little front man is not Billy.  Billy Talent is a band not a guy. Very good band with four very good guys.

I got distracted looking up their videos ("Surrender" is a particularly good one). And now I need another eyeball break.

Okay it's tomorrow morning now.  I'm back in bed to sleep it off and sweat it out and YAY my nice dim screen isn't as hurty as it was yesterday!

More rock star.  City and Colour.  Dallas Green is like a hero to me.  In our family we have a habit of listening to his music, whether it's this band or Alexisonfire, and sighing, "That man has got the voice of an angel."  And a great songwriter too. Honestly I think he's a national treasure. 

I really wish I would have said HI (or something less dumb or anything) to him when we were in the same elevator in 2007.  But I was talking with a friend so I just settled for a weird eye thing that kind of went like, "Um I totally know who you are and I think you're awesome but I'm talking to my friend right now so instead I'm shooting admiration vibes at you" and "I'm not sure if I should know you but I might have seen you before? and the skulls on your dress are kinda neat."

I'd heard that Johnny Galecki would be there.  The Big Bang Theory is the #1 show in Canada so it makes sense that he'd show up. But it was he himself, not Dr Leonard Hofstadter.  But y'know, I kind of think he looks a little bit like Keanu in this picture.  Kinda cute.  And I love Leonard.  

Not sure what's going on here but the girls behind him don't really care cuz he's not Gombiebs.

Also in attendance: Colin Farrell.  He always looks slightly perplexed.  I think it's those terribly expressive eyebrows.  

Apparently he's in town shooting a movie.  He looks like he just woke up on a red carpet but it's a music thing not an acting thing and he's not sure if he should be okay with it or sneak out the back when nobody's looking.  One of the news sites reporting that when asked, he couldn't name a Canadian band.  If this is true, what?!  It's not so hard... Canada is basically a big Musician Farm.  Entertainment is our big import.  Second biggest city in Canada is Los Angeles.  Come on, can't name a Canadian band?  What about mono-monikered divas?  This isn't so hard!

But Colin looks good in denim and I'm shallow that way about dudes, so, okay.

Worn out.  Nap time.  

It's today afternoon now.  Here I am.  

So.  Gaga.  
It must be said... this time out she really, really shocked me.  SHE WORE STUFF THAT RESEMBLED CLOTHES AND SHE WAS COVERED.  Mostly.

Also she wore a suit of black feathers.  Cool!!!!

I might have to start a new feature called DARNIT GAGA.

For now, let's do something I call WHAT THE HECK DOES SHE ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?!

She was up to her usual shenanigans when she showed up the day before for soundcheck looking like THIS. (for soundcheck.  The one time you'd get to show up in track pants.) (but this is an outdoor gig and y'know... there could be cameras, so...).  

We expect this kind of crap by now.  Big giant Whatevs.  Except for two things.  One, as I am a big advocate for Backside Pride, I gotta point out that her bottom appears to be rather upright.  And two, without the stupid get-up I might not have recognized her, because I think she kinda looks like Dita Von Teese.

Anybody else see it?  But I doubt either of them look like that on couch-magnet-TV night.

I've seen this pattern on splint boots at the local tack shop.  Guaranteed to look good an any horse.  

Come to think of it, that pattern might be a little too busy on a spotted Appaloosa.  Or attention-grabbing diva.

The wig trunk alone must have been huge just for this gig.  She had to have at least three.  

Just to make sure we don't forget who she is, Gaga pulled a little strip show which launched thousands of carpet and drapes jokes.  

I know - EW.  But also,  HAHAHA!  We are so freaked out by body hair!  Even fake stuff!  Hahaha! And also, Ew!

She reminds me here of a combination of Madonna and Alanis Morrisette at the Junos a few years back with the bathrobe & bodysuit stunt.

"We are living in an surreal-ial world..."


That wig is fantastic.  I want one in pink.  


Man, I would rather not devote this much time to her - it's like rewarding a tantrum-throwing child in a store by getting all flustered and making an even bigger public spectacle then buying the kid the junkfoodtoything just to make the noise stop - but hey, she really worked for it. She puts effort into grabbing all the publicity she possibly can.

However she exhausts me on a good day.

Break time.

Okay. I didn't sleep but I closed my eyes.  It was nice.

I made the most wonderful discovery as I looked for pictures and news from the event... I saw a picture of four delightfully curly haired denim wearing bearded hoser dudes and thought, heh, I'd invite them over to play a show on my hay wagon.  (I mean as in, the hay wagon is the stage.  For those Imaginary Gigs I can throw now that I have a hay wagon.  Didn't mean it as a desperate and vague euphemism okay!)  The caption simply said, "The Sheepdogs."

Well, I says to myself, any band calling themselves the Sheepdogs has to be okay.  And nothing bad ever came out of Saskatchewan right?

Being pretty much holed up in my bedroom, I have time to do some digging around.  I searched the name thinking, "please be awesome, please be awesome! Don't lame out and disappoint me!  Please be awesome!"


This is what I thought  Kings Of Leon would sound like when I first saw their picture.  These guys aren't pin-up purty, but they have something better ....THREE PART HARMONY!  Southern Rock from the Great White Prairies?  Oh heck yes!!!

How did this get past me???  These guys have been doing this thing for at least four years... (we were IN SASKATOON four years ago for a big music event...) and here they're in a contest to be on the cover of Rolling Stone?!?!  What the heck - I was only knocked out on anti-depressant withdrawal for like, three weeks?!!!  I almost didn't catch this????

Once I can actually do a whole blog post without taking naps or shaking, I'll tell you all about another cool discovery I made before things went totally sideways here.  It involves Finnish trolls and Bob Dylan!

And I'm spent.  I need a drink of water and then I need to like, write a whole novel.  Nothing like an easy slow recovery eh?  Ha. 


Paul Tee said...

My God girl! You found your voice again. You sound ... almost verbose.

Seems to me the subconscious is bubbling through. In spurts, but it is coming.

Thanks for catching me up on MMVA, a show you didn't watch, and ordinarily, I wouldn't either. I love music, but not interested what hides behind it. The posturing, the pretense, the dazzle ... the only time I care is when a favored band (I'd invested decades of listening to) suddenly falls apart... Then. What the fugg?

I know. I know. You'r connected, in the BIZZness, so you make it all personal...

I think, we should give you a mike and airdrop you onto the red carpet so you could capture the frazzle-famous and put them under the microscope. Can you see it? I be OK with the pink streak, the glued-on glitter spots and western boots... and the hick-chic T-shirt. Good on you.

Heidi the Hick said...

If gag gag gets a fake mole/ black spot then I get to have a glitter spot on my cheekbone.

And I want the Hick Chic logo on my mic.

Who do I gotta talk to about this? There must be a need for a swooning reporter who asks stupid questions!

Laura Crum said...

I'm glad you're feeling better--some better anyway. And I could care less about the music biz (sorry--I barely know who Gaga is), but you are such a good writer I enjoyed every word of your post (!) Thanks for a fun read.

mommyrides said...

Yippee!!! You are back...well sort of!!! Missed you...loved every word.....have a nap....will see you later!!!

Auntie said...

Thanks for watching these shows and writing about them ... I would far rather read your blog than have to sit through them. Ever. You are doing a great service and it matters not at all that it was done in segments. Welcome back, Heidi!