Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Things I can do ONE HANDED!

I've often considered the benefits of being ambidextrous.  It would really come in handy to be able to use either hand if one got injured, like say, you were on a ladder when a large and extremely heavy panel of metal scaffold ended up on your right ring finger requiring 5 stitches, or maybe just a really bad paper cut which left you incapacitated.  Okay, s*** happens, alright?

Sadly my early experiments in left handedness weren't successful.  As a result I've spent the last week fumbling through my life. That nasty injury is right in the fat part of the palm side of the knuckle... in other words, the grabbing-stuff part of the hand.  Plus it was really swollen and colourful.  Cal me a big suckybaby but it hurt! The stitches came out yesterday, my right hand is only half green now instead of mostly purple, and things are getting back to normal.  But, I gotta hand it to myself - see what I did there! - I did okay with one hand.

I can drive with one hand.  As long as the vehicle is automatic transmission.

I can ride with one hand.  I couldn't deal with the saddle and cinch but I can get on a horse bareback from my little stepladder.

I can pick up construction trash with one hand.  (That'll be the extent of the work I do on the new shed from now on.)

I can throw dirty clothes into the washing machine with one hand.

I can teach a riding lesson with one hand - especially if it's an off-site lesson and the girls already have their ponies saddled.

I can pet critters with my left hand.

I can kick a hay bale across a floor with my feet and then use my left hand to heave it upright and then stack it in the aisle.

I can do up the snap on a halter with my let hand but holy crap is that tricky.

Other stuff... well you figure things out when you have to.  I found I can balance the manure fork on the palm of my right hand for leverage and lean into my left hand to pick up the poops in the corral.  I hook my right arm under the bars of the gate to open and close it.

You know what I absolutely cannot do using only one hand?

Wash dishes.

If only my kids weren't smart enough to figure out that my finger is healing up now...


Paul Tee said...

Holly Margarine! What were you doing?

I can see you on the ladder climbing into the hay loft. On the other hand I can understand the paper cut, its a professional hazzard for writers, feeding the printer, collating.YIKKES!

You are not 100% disabled. You can rinse dishes with one hand.

Heidi the Hick said...

I was helping with that little construction project in the backyard. I am just not cut out for that kind of work.

It's healing up nicely, or as "nicely" as something this gross can...

Still not doing dishes - those teenagers have TWO good hands!