Thursday, October 21, 2010

I think I'm amphibious now

I may have just mastered the weird art of squirting saline solution up one nostril and letting it dribble out the other nostril.

This means two things:

1) I will be a hit at my son's next birthday party.  At which he'll be fifteen.  Come to think of it, I'll be a hit at my husband's next birthday party, when he turns forty-two.  Boys in general never get too old for a good nostril stunt.

2) Now that I can run salt water through my nose I can finally pursue a career path that up until now could only be a distant fantasy.


Yes, I, Booty Landlubber, will at last be able to lure the nefarious and charming Captain Jack Sparrow into my soggy grasp.  We will spend hours picking seaweed out of each other's hair, until some supernatural pirate hussy comes along to break my spell on Jack at which time I'll have to get out my lunge whip skills and have a big ol duel to win back my little pirate darling.  I will win by shooting high pressure ocean water out of my face at the hussy and blow her to China.  Then my Captain and I drink rum and dance on the beach.

When he's really drunk he'll beg me to do that thing again that I do.  Cuz it's his birthday.  And we'll laugh and laugh and laugh.  It'll be awesome.

I think I'm delirious.  I'm going to go take a nap.  


jules said...

oooh - I so want a neti pot. I hear it's the best way to keep sinus infections and sinus trouble at bay.

pseudosu said...

The neti pot-- or mine anyway-- is *pure EEEEEvilllll*. ~Hates~ Pretty sure it's trying to drown my in my bathroom sink. ~blech~

But... Good for you.

Heidi Willis said...

This has me rolling. You know how to weave a yarn young gal!!

And it's Johnny Friday! YAY!