Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Me, My Truck, and the Very Difficult Decision

Today, I called the insurance broker and told her to take the coverage off my truck.


I won't be driving it anymore


of THIS.


is a real drag, a total bummer, a huge disappointment, a stupid mistake, and a sadness all rolled up into one expensive problem.

THIS  is a little car accident I had at the end of June.

We weren't hurt but the other car was finished.  Being a total tank, my truck got out still going down the road as straight as it ever did, but less functional with that side smashed in, and a whole lot uglier.

I didn't blog about it because... well, come on.  You can see why, right?  Who the heck wants to admit on the internet that after 5 years of driving this brute that a stupid lane change ruined everything?  I sure didn't feel like putting that up on the internet.  I was going to fix it.  Well not me personally.  I am not good at fixing things.  I'm good at bodywork but I don't do it anymore. We figured we'd get a gently used door and panel, since parts for these trucks are easy to find, and after some hammering and welding and likely some swearing, we'd be able to get into and out of the truck from the passenger side again.

I drove it like this all summer.

Feeling even more paranoid than usual.

Telling myself we'd fix it.  Just not yet.  Soon.

Here's the thing: I LOVE THIS TRUCK.  I know it's not really anything special but I totally dig it.  I love its bigness.  I love the way it sits with the ass end higher than the front.  I love the proportion of the long box and extended cab.  I love the split bench seat, love the backseat, love the big black steering wheel.  I love the 350 cubic inch displacement, all 8 cylinders worth.  I love that it's over 20 years old.  I love that it's mine.

Here's the other thing: it's got a lot of annoying little things wrong with it.  Door handles, turn signals, things lighting up on the dash that shouldn't.  Some rust has poked through. Now the only working door won't close right.


And... THIS.

Add it all up and the result is:  it's not worth fixing.

So I'm sad.

And slightly weirded out by how much importance I place on it... as part of my identity.

You know.  I'm the small woman with the big truck.  I'm the girl with the gnarly old beast that would make many drivers quake.  I can parallel park this sumbitch.  I can look down, literally and figuratively, on all those normal people who drive, y'know, cars.

I'm also ridiculously sentimental.  I have a hard time letting go of things.  I tend to name machines and other inanimate objects.  With me, it's not just a truck, it's a friend!

Well, so long friend.  There will be no rock-n-roll flat black paint job in the future, with bright shiny red rims to contrast, which is just as well since my ol' man scoffs at my big awkward truck and also I don't do bodywork anymore.  There will be no fixed up dash.  No new tailgate handle.

As of today, she's off the road.

even though I'll keep it around

cuz the township says we're allowed to keep a project or two

And since all the scrappers are gone now

I can just hide it under a tree

in case I need parts

like those nifty taillights

or the frame hitch

for my next truck....


Sydney_bitless said...

Aww RIP old beast.

Heidi the Hick said...


Well at least the kids can still drive it around the yard for practice, and we can use it around the farm.

Still sucks though, taking it off the road!!! I'll miss it!

Paul Tee said...

Sad, sad day. The fact is, it'll be impossible to separate You from that badass GMC truckmobile. I fear that your persona will require a major face-lift. I'm apprehensive that the loss might turn you humble having to drive just 6" off the ground like the rest of us mortals. But I know how you feel.

Somewhere in scrapyard heaven, there might still be a 72 Plymouth Horizon (I pretended it was a Charger, sue me) with a little love note still in the glovebox. "Here rest a noble beast after 14 years of faithful service. Threat her with respect and compassion, and may she never have nightmares about being pressed into a cube and joined to the hive collective in that great recycling bin of the sky. Good bye old friend, in time we'll meet again."

Lynn Sinclair said...

I have missed seeing the red beast around these parts. Sad to think that it won't be seen anywhere at all (except on your property -- just don't make a habit of that!).

Glad there were no human injuries.

pseudosu said...

I have to admit I cringed a little reading this, much as I sympathized with you personally. I dislike seeing giant beasts on the road. You, I'm sure, need one for all your farming/horse stuff, but I dislike when people drive them "just because."

My sister-in-law brags about how hers would crush any normal car she got into an accident with. This galls me. It's supposed to be a vehicle, not a weapon.