What, you're shocked that I get stinkypits? Yeah, I get stinkypits! I've done my share of physical work and I reserve the right to smell bad. Just not in my annual dress up mode.
And I have to go to hell, whoops I mean the mall, because I just found out last night that my vintage fishnets sprung a hole in the toe.
What, you're shocked that I have fishnets? Listen, I'll have you know that back in the old days... I mean waaaay long ago, I was quite the fashionable chick. I had my moments. I used to have moments daily, in high school. I wore cowboy boots and fishnet stockings and ridiculous skirts. I was crazy. It was fun. But those ol stockings are done. I can't believe they lasted as long as they did. But to be honest, they were getting a little harder to get into. When I was 17 they sort of got baggy around the ankles, and that wasn't happening the last couple of times I wore them.
Which would be, in the last decade, maybe twice.
Holy crap I don't wanna go out today. I wanna do laundry and pack suitcases. No I don't. I don't wanna do any of it. I need my genius son to invent a machine that packs stuff for me and then transports me to my destination so that I don't have to fly. I am a landlubber. I'm not meant to fly.
Okay. Deep breath. Gotta go get ready to go.
I know where the tickets are I know where the tickets are I know where theticketsare.....