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Monday, March 31, 2008

Things To Do before leaving for the Juno Awards...

-write a letter to both schools splaining what's going on with my kids while us parents are off partying with rock stars.

-take an XXL men's black shirt to the dry cleaners

-make sure my dress still fits

-buy cat food

-pack. don't forget undies.

-get a haircut.

This could be fun, y'know. I expect it to go like this:

ME: Hi, I'm looking for a hairstylist who's up to a challenge.

SALON: Um... okay...?

ME: Yes, I have long, thick, very wavy hair. It needs to be layered justright. And I haven't had a haircut in A YEAR.

SALON: OH.

ME: And also? Could you put some pink streaks in it? Pink makes me happy.

SALON: Um, can I put you on hold for a minute?


-find out who's in charge of that whole red carpet thing.

-decide which famous person I should make a fool of myself in front of this year.

-Two words: CELLULITE CREAM.

Can I just fill the tub with this stuff and get in? Seriously, has anybody tried this stuff? It's okay, you can be honest. I got the lumpies. I'm over 30. I'm lumpy. But man, I've been using this stuff and I think my knees are less dimply now. I think I know what'll happen if I stop using it though. Boom.

-pack a suitcase, a garment bag, a knapsack and a carry-on bag. Not a carrion bag. Totally different.

-take up eating again. I don't think almost-blacking-out every time I stand up will be good for my party animal reputation.

-I was mostly joking about the party animal reputation.

-get out the bush hog and do something about the unibrow.

-do a few of those pilates exercises that I abandoned when I started my meds and got the barfiness feeling.

-remember to breathe

-dust off my sense of humour and remember that I'll be needing it.

26 comments:

captain corky said...

Eating might be a very good idea, Heidi! That haircut sounds like it's going to be expensive. ;)

Dr. Medusa said...

Your sense of humor, if this post is any indication, is intact. Good luck with the preparations and don't forget to post pics of the pink hair!

Tod said...

Good luck with the awards and the hair!

Heidi the Hick said...

Oooh Jann Arden is going to be there!

(I wonder if she's forgotten the weird chick in the dress made out of chains...)
(I hope...)

Oh, also, Avril stole my pink hair idea.

Biddie said...

Oooh...Jan Arden is gonna be there? I think that you should stand about 100 feet away from her at all times...I seriously doubt that she has forgottem you. You are unforgettable!

Heidi the Hick said...

I'll stand 100 ft away and grin like a crazy person.

How far away is 100 ft? That's like, arm's length, right?

Olly said...

The pink hair is a MUST! I wanna see lots of pics on this site!

katy said...

the hair hasn't been cut in a year, no problem your hair is gorgeous, its the unibrow that will cuase you the most problems, ya know it gona hurt you girl! just being truthful!
hey you GO AND EAT OK
no go get that list done!

Heidi the Hick said...

I have just weedwackered my face.

The unibrow is gone.

My forehead is red.

Ow.

Now I have to finish my grocery list. Why oh why am I looking at my blog when I have shopping to do?

rain said...

Are you wearing the Beserk dress? Oh, I want one so bad. But where would I go in it? I will never ever walk a red carpet...please think of me for one brief second, it will be almost like I am there. What about a pedicure? Will your toes be showing? Will we see you on TV do you think?

JKB said...

OK! Yay pink hair!

Pile it up flamboyantly on the top of your head, with little pink wisps! SUCH a good idea!

LOL to the unibrow.

I am so excited for you! For us Germans that don't know when the Junos are...when are they??

Have a blast!

Heidi the Hick said...

Rain- Yes! I am wearing the Peach Berserk dress! Because I love it, and I paid good money for it (worth every penny) and because, well, I love it.

You could still get one if you have nowhere to wear it. You could wear it to pick dandelions with your kids...

I can't believe I'm the girl that somebody else is living vicariously through. I can't believe it.

I'm still working on our red carpet pass. I will make sure my camera is charged up okay?

Pedicure? Nope- I'm wearing boots! Knee high white boots! Which nobody will see because I'll be in jeans for the red carpet thing. The dress is for the black tie event on Saturday night.

I really don't think I'll be on TV... unless we walk past Ben Mulroney when he's interviewing somebody famous...

JKB- I was considering the Towering Beehive Stuffed With Fake Dead Flowers Look, but it's too damn much work. I probably will do some kind of up-do. If for no other reason that this:

After the fancy dinner, I can do that thing where I yank out all the hair pins and toss my head like it's a shampoo commercial. Always wanna do that.

I heard that the Junos are broadcast in some European countries but I don't know any specifics. You could check ctv.ca or juno-awards.ca but I'll see what I can find out.


And in case you're wondering-

ate something- check
got food for kids- check
made hair appointment- check.

I gotta siddown for a minute.

CindyDianne said...

Is Jann Arden the "What if God" woman? Blonde hair? I like her. A lot.

I am glad you are putting the pink back in your hair. I think it will help your morale a lot.

And look at you, all busy doing things! I've done a couple things today too. Gone to doctor. Had staples removed. Realized I've lost 21 pounds.

I've been wanting to do something a little wild with my hair, but I am afraid. Like, what if I do it and hate it? Or I don't like it but hate what they have done to "fix" it even more. Or what if I never am able to get back to my natural color. Blah!

Heidi the Hick said...

Cindy your hair is gorgeous- don't mess with it!

(Unless you want to)

Good to hear from you and good to hear that you're up and at it! Take it slow, man, that's what I'm doing, and I got it easy next to what you're recovering from!

Nope, Jann Arden isn't blonde! I'll write about her more later.

Maureen McGowan said...

-pack a suitcase, a garment bag, a knapsack and a carry-on bag. Not a carrion bag. Totally different.

Heidi you crack me up.

Have fun at the Junos! Make a fool of yourself in front of someone famous for me!

Heidi the Hick said...

Maureen, it's practically guaranteed!

dilling said...

i think remember to breathe should be number one on the list...
and number 5
then again, sometime around 10, 15
see where i am going with this?
will we see the award this year or is it a night before the event thing again?

Rain could wear peach's dress over here...I could get a hoodie of vince like your hoodie of johnny(was that from the same place?)...if rain had clown feet like mine, she could wear my fluevogs with her new dress....

dilling said...

tell Jann I love her, too. from your distance, I mean....don't frighten her too much....
breathe

dilling said...

CindyDianne....I think you are thinking of Joan Osborne....

Heidi the Hick said...

Yes, dilling, breathe!

Only not too fast and not all in short succession.

slowwwwwly...

The recording engineer award gets dished out on Saturday night, so no it's not televised. You'll watch the Sunday concert on TV though, won't you?

Just in case he gets it?

They'll show it before a commercial break.

He says he won't win. He says he's got a 1 in 5 chance but there are other guys more worthy.

He said that last year too.

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh yeah- the Johnny hoodie is from peach berserk too.
and yes, I will be wearing it for the Sunday concert!

Tod said...

I vote for the beehive with the dead flowers! Yay so cool! I'm so excited for you!

Wait, what if someone thinks, you're Amy Winehouse and you fell down drunk in the florist?

CindyDianne said...

Dilling - right you are! That's who I was thinking of. Whatever happened to her? Of course, I am not sure of her actual talent and all...but I liked that one song.

Today I'll look up this Jan person! ;-)

FOUR DINNERS said...

Plenty of pics of the pink wanted!!!

Bet they're nice lumps ;-)

Have a ball babe x

Balloon Pirate said...

I still say do a Sweeney Todd Hairstyle with a pink stripe instead of white.

yeharr

adam brown said...
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