Today's facial expressions, body language, and emotions will be portrayed by Mr Johnny Depp, who is very good at the acting thing and seems to be just a really cool person and is easy on the eyes and it's Friday and I need an excuse to work him into my blog, so here we go with my slow week...
Hey, know what happens when you start a new prescription for anti-depressants, and then feel really barfy, and kind of don't eat for a week?
You lose FIVE POUNDS.
In a week.
See here's the weird thing: I did want to trim down a little, but not like this! I wanted to be fit and trim, not emaciated and mushy.
I also didn't really want to feel all shaky and weak. I'm starting to feel better, and getting used the black fuzz in my eyes every time I stand up.
It's a little distracting, trying to see through the black fuzz, but so far I haven't tripped on anything so I'm okay.
Still waiting to feel better mentally. Kind of hard, under the circumstances...
I've given up on wondering why every single drug on the planet hits me harder than anybody else. I really didn't need to be that kind of special. I'd rather be special for having some kind of rare and unique talent. Or anything, but not this. However, I have often thanked God for my drug-sensitive weakness. When I say drugs aren't good for me, I mean it- ALL of them. I've tried a few that the doctor didn't give me. It was not good. Not good. It didn't take many years of teenage stupidity to decide that I just wouldn't be a recreational pharmaceutical enthusiast. If you know what I mean.
Kept me out of trouble.
The downside is, now that my doctor tells me that these little pills will enable me to get through life, functioning, I feel worse, physically, than I did before.
But I'm being patient. I think my mood may have improved but it's kind of hard to tell.
At least my pants are looser.
One advantage of being stuck on the couch or in bed for a week? Get out the laptop. Go through the "book" again, word by word. Get rid of the extras. Remember those details that never fit in before but are necessary, get rid of any detail that isn't needed. I've got all the time in the world this week. I've got a creaky old cat on one side and a snoring little dog on the other. We ain't going anywhere. I'm sure the Pug is looking forward to having me back in shape again, so he can get his usual half hour walk, but he's doing a good job of being the official Comforter and Foot Warmer.
I miss the horses. I know I'd feel better if I could drag my ass out to the truck and drive out to the barn, but damn. When I'm feeling stronger, I'll need some horse time.
But for now, I'm waiting, to feel better. I'm thinking and writing and praying and convincing myself that this is just another little bump in the road. I've been through some rough roads. I haven't yet let it stop me. Slow me down? Yup. Slowed me down and made me want to curl up at the side of the road and never ever move again. But did I stop? No. And I'm not going to now either.
I will get better and I'll be just fine. Oh yes. I will. I'm gonna be ooooooo....