www.flickr.com

Friday, March 28, 2008

Slow Week

Today's facial expressions, body language, and emotions will be portrayed by Mr Johnny Depp, who is very good at the acting thing and seems to be just a really cool person and is easy on the eyes and it's Friday and I need an excuse to work him into my blog, so here we go with my slow week...

Hey, know what happens when you start a new prescription for anti-depressants, and then feel really barfy, and kind of don't eat for a week?

You lose FIVE POUNDS.

In a week.

See here's the weird thing: I did want to trim down a little, but not like this! I wanted to be fit and trim, not emaciated and mushy.

I also didn't really want to feel all shaky and weak. I'm starting to feel better, and getting used the black fuzz in my eyes every time I stand up.


It's a little distracting, trying to see through the black fuzz, but so far I haven't tripped on anything so I'm okay.

Still waiting to feel better mentally. Kind of hard, under the circumstances...




I've given up on wondering why every single drug on the planet hits me harder than anybody else. I really didn't need to be that kind of special. I'd rather be special for having some kind of rare and unique talent. Or anything, but not this. However, I have often thanked God for my drug-sensitive weakness. When I say drugs aren't good for me, I mean it- ALL of them. I've tried a few that the doctor didn't give me. It was not good. Not good. It didn't take many years of teenage stupidity to decide that I just wouldn't be a recreational pharmaceutical enthusiast. If you know what I mean.

Lucky me!

Kept me out of trouble.

The downside is, now that my doctor tells me that these little pills will enable me to get through life, functioning, I feel worse, physically, than I did before.




But I'm being patient. I think my mood may have improved but it's kind of hard to tell.




At least my pants are looser.



One advantage of being stuck on the couch or in bed for a week? Get out the laptop. Go through the "book" again, word by word. Get rid of the extras. Remember those details that never fit in before but are necessary, get rid of any detail that isn't needed. I've got all the time in the world this week. I've got a creaky old cat on one side and a snoring little dog on the other. We ain't going anywhere. I'm sure the Pug is looking forward to having me back in shape again, so he can get his usual half hour walk, but he's doing a good job of being the official Comforter and Foot Warmer.

I miss the horses. I know I'd feel better if I could drag my ass out to the truck and drive out to the barn, but damn. When I'm feeling stronger, I'll need some horse time.



But for now, I'm waiting, to feel better. I'm thinking and writing and praying and convincing myself that this is just another little bump in the road. I've been through some rough roads. I haven't yet let it stop me. Slow me down? Yup. Slowed me down and made me want to curl up at the side of the road and never ever move again. But did I stop? No. And I'm not going to now either.



I will get better and I'll be just fine. Oh yes. I will. I'm gonna be ooooooo....
kaaaaaayyyyyyy...

17 comments:

The Adult in Question said...

The last picture of Johnny frightens me.

Heidi the Hick said...

Looks a little crazy, eh?

Just makes me adore him even more.


yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Heidi said...

Ah... I totally almost blogged about how I could never be a recreational pharmaceutical drug user today! I've done the percaset and vicodin thing (prescribed) and wonder, if you don't have third degree burns or MAJOR migraines, why in the world would someone take these???? Even at that, I sometimes weigh whether or not the migraine is worse than the vicodin, and that's saying something!

AND, I've been thinking about the line from The Devil Wears Prada: "I'm just one good stomach flu away from my ideal body weight." Yeah... I'd like to lose five pounds too, but not at that price. Although, if you have to take the pills and feel all yucky, it is nice to have some benefit like looser pants, eh?

Feel better soon!

Biddie said...

I thought the same thing. Scary. NOT a good photo...Mind you, I haven't seen a photo of Mr.Atkins that didn't make me swoon :)
Funny thing about drugs. Almost NOTHING affects me. Seriously.
Remember those days in highschool when we would sit under the tree...umm..puffing? Well, there was also the time that me and JF smoked up in the gym, behind the curtains on the stage.
I don't think even back then it did much for me...Wouldn't it be nice if we could both be somewhere in the middle?
Hey, I'm gonna be seeing you soon, right? Another week or so?
Our house is going to be crazy wild with 3 dogs.
I can't wait!
Hugs xxx

Heidi the Hick said...

ha! When I went off of celexa a couple of years ago, I swore I'd never go back on anti-depressants because the withdrawal was hell. HELL.

so, yeah. Here I am!

I kinda miss food.

Geez there are healthier ways to lose weight! I do hope I can keep it off- I was far from overweight before and I know that, but I just wanted to be a bit lighter. I put on weight the last time I was medicated and haven't quite felt like myself since then.

Well we'll see.

The sun's out... I think I'll get the Pug to take me for a leisurely stroll up the sidewalk and back...

JKB said...

That's the spirit!

I lurve lurve lurve Johnny days. I'm soo glad you do them. :)

Heidi the Hick said...

Biddie, you and I are the opposite!

Really? Behind the curtains? I didn't know about that!!! hahahaa! Or maybe I did know and i forgot. That happens!

Heidi the Hick said...

jkb- Johnny days are happy days! Gotta have something to look forward to!

dilling said...

hang in there...
i nearly "broke" this morning watching this latest snowfall(still going) on what is supposed to the temperate west coast...wtf? instead i am eating macaroni and cheese for breakfast(again, talk about a rut), in the dark, with the curtains drawn...but not "breaking" yet....sigh.

dilling said...

and that last picture is spooky...

Heidi the Hick said...

Dilling, don't break! It's sunny here- I'll try to send it west.

(yeah I know about the SPOOKY picture. mwahahaha)

katy said...

those bumps in the road will get mended OK.

rain said...

I agree with..I dunno...all of the above. I just never go off my ad's. the 6 months without them is never worth the hell of going back to square one...I have learned this after 20 years...

Olly said...

That last picture doesn't even look like him, to me. Hope you feel better next week. Have a great weekend!

Anita said...

Great post... that pic with the baggy jeans... I practically gasped out loud... lol

You sound good, actually... I'm sure it's tough, but you're tougher... hand in there!

ChiliLady said...

oooooh, Johnny!!!^^

Rising Rainbow said...

My daughter can only take about half of any perscription as well. I can't say it kept her off of drugs as a kid however. But her stint with them didn't last long.

I hope you feel better soon and can make it to the barn. Visiting the horses sure helps me feel better on bad days.