Monday, February 25, 2008

A man doesn't have to win an award to keep my love: Oscar Report!

Okay, so Johnny Depp didn't win Best Actor and likely won't be elected Intergalactic President any time soon either. LIKE THAT MATTERS! I still think he's the cat's meow, the sparkle in the shine, the... you know how I feel about him. If anything, Jethro has been assured that if he doesn't win another Juno award this spring, I will still leave the party with him. I am not fickle. My love is strong. Blah blah blah.

Here's Johnny with the love of his life, both looking gorgeous.

People, he went all out this year. He shined his shoes.

I just have to stop and linger here for a minute, and rave about Vanessa. She looks perfect. A lot of other women wear black because it's safe, because they can't think of anything else, because they're too shy to wear hot pink. (Ahem.) But on Vanessa it's daring and stunning. Elegant but just slightly intimidating, in an I-wouldn't-piss-her-off-even-though-she's-tiny-because-she-looks-like-she-could-tear-me-to-pieces kind of way. And also because she's exquisitely pretty with those big eyes and soft natural hair.

And he's just plain gorgeous.

See how she's looking at him? See how happy he looks?

What is it like to do that red carpet walk, knowing that within hours the pictures will be everywhere? I knew darn well that my red carpet walk wouldn't result in anything more than me watching E-Talk Canada for the Jim Cuddy- Ben Mulroney interview, so I could see us gawking at them in the background. I wasn't worried that I'd end up on Go Fug Yourself the next day... although I'd be thrilled to be so dubiously honoured. Seriously.

He didn't win Best Actor but I'm just going to go ahead and award him with Best.

Jon Stewart was awesome. He kept the thing moving, stayed funny, and didn't dirty it up with irrelevant jokes. Yay for Jon Stewart!

I loved the montage of Best Picture winners over the last 80 years. We need a montage! I really do love showbiz.

I also loved Javier Bardem's speech. He said it in Spanish for his mama.

Isn't that sweet? Turns out, he is a nice guy- he only plays scary dudes in the movies! It's called...ACTING! And he just got an award for it!

I thought the funniest set up for a presentation came from Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell. She was a good straight man to his very serious guy who gets it all wrong. And her skin looks great in red.

Ellen Page- let's hear it for small Canadian women who look younger than they really are and like to wear vintage clothing!!!

She does look a bit like she'd rather be in jeans and a hoodie. I spend so much time looking like a slob that I look forward to my annual dress up. The trick is to save the plaid flannel for the airport. See, I am getting it all figured out.

Diablo Cody used to be an exotic dancer.

Now she's an Oscar winning screenwriter. And she wore leopard print. And skull and crossbones earrings. She rocks.

The slightly terrifying and totally unique Best Supporting Actress, Tilda Swinton, was hilarious.

She compared her Oscar's buttocks to her agent's and lovingly teased George Clooney about wearing the Batman suit under his clothes while they were filming. Bright orange hair and a wacky shiny dress, and apparently no make up at all. Way to be your own badself! Yay!!!

I loved the acceptance speech from the winners of Best Song. What a moment!!

As Glen Hansard explained, "Once" is a little movie shot on Sony Handicams in three weeks. After he ordered us to "Make Art!" Marketa Irglova moved in for her speech but shut her mouth as soon as the Wrap It Up music started. I didn't feel right about that. Neither of them are big famous folks, and this might be their one shot at glory and a chance to say their thank yous. Well after the commercial break, our guy Jon Stewart marched her back out on stage and explained that she didn't get a chance. "Enjoy your moment," he said, and she did. Oh, my warm little heart!

I can't tell you how nice it was to see Owen Wilson presenting an award.

Viggo Mortensen strode straight out of the old west and into the Kodak Theater. I just know everybody else will be all scornful of his look but you know what? I like it. He's the tough as boot leather outlaw with the heart of gold! Or something. He looks like he got off his horse, took a bath in a copper tub, slapped some Dapper Dan Hair Pomade on his head, combed out his beard and off he went. I know that underneath that beard, his gorgeous chin dimple still lurks, so I'm okay. Plus for me a beard equals comfort. Nice guys who work outside a lot wear beards in my world. I kinda like my world.

Anyways, after seeing the clips for Best Actor I figured he could win it. Add Eastern Promises to my list of must-see movies. Did you see that clip??? Russian accent, and then he stubs out his cigarette on his tongue. Please tell me they did that with CGI. Please. He made it so believable. Daniel Day Lewis must be pretty darn good to beat this guy and my favourite.

You know, I'm just going to go ahead and name Viggo Darling the recipient of the Hick Chic Most Daring Fashion Choice Award.

I only wish I had a picture of the hoss he rode in on!!!

Colin Farrell. So greasy. So scruffy. Darn it, so hot. Stop it Colin. Just stay over there on the other side of the room where I can keep on eye on you, you little scamp.

A lot of women wore their hair long in loose waves, which was very nice after years of tight scary updo's. And many wore red lipstick as well. Perfect example: the adorable Marion Cotillard, Best Actress, who looks like a little white mermaid here. (I like it.)

I'm in such good company, since I did wavy hair and red lips at the Junos last year. Of course this means that if all the others are doing it then I have to do something totally different. I have to.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love showbiz?

Do you ever have a hard time telling what's real here and what's a product of my wild imagination?

Cate Blanchett was the most beautifully dressed of all the pregnant ladies at the Oscars. I didn't have any nice clothes when I was pregnant. I'm not willing have another baby to remedy that situation though.

What did I learn this evening? I really must see No Country For Old Men. I have to read the novel too. Cormac McCarthy was sitting with the Coen Brothers. What would that be like???? He wrote what I've heard is a stunning novel, and it got turned into what I've heard is an excellent and perplexing movie. What on earth would it be like to sit in the audience at the freakin Academy Awards because you wrote a really good book? And now your story is Best Picture? I can't say it'll ever happen to me. But I can think about it.

The whole shootin match was over 15 minutes before midnight. It was a lean, mean, award generating machine. I hope Jon Stewart runs the show next year too.

One more look at the most elegant and creative couple of the evening, just because she wore red lips the best, and he didn't get a haircut.

Didn't I tell you that she'd clasp his left hand and speak to him only with her eyes?

I love showbiz.


dilling said...

I kept the mute button on pretty much except for John, the Memeorial thing(Myoshi Umeki WAS on it!!!) and for Tilda, whom I adore...Owen looked well and I was happy to see him....no dress really floored me...George C. looked dapper as ever...and Tommy Lee as grizzled and lovely as ever...I didn't care for Viggo's beard so much as you, but I don't normally go in for facial fur...Alan Arkin was divine(one of my faves)and I am thrilled the Coen brothers won...again and again and again. I guess I have some movies to catch up on...

terry said...

they do look gorgeous together. and separately, of course, but especially together.

i can't wait until we get to see the juno awards red carpet wrap up!

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah, me too, Terry! I think this year I'll remember to charge up my camera before I do the long walk!

(Like, duh. Little nobody farm girl walks the red carpet and FORGETS TO CHARGE UP THE CAMERA FIRST!)

Dilling, I agree, the memorial tribute is always very moving, especially since they mention all the less-famous ones as well.

Heidi the Hick said...

The thing about this year's Oscars:

Nobody wore anything truly horrendous.

Nothing awfully embarrassing happened.

Boring maybe, sure, but kind of a relief, not?

A Paperback Writer said...

Wow. I feel old and lumpy now.
And the opening line from the Beatles' "Baby, You're A Rich Man" is running through my mind:
How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?

Well, I wouldn't know....

And Viggo.... Goodness, is he playing Brigham Young in a movie right now or what? You wonder about his hoss, but I'm thinking it's a covered wagon and a team of oxen he left behind to come over to this here little shindig.

But thanks for the summary of events. I don't watch TV so I didn't see any of it, and it was kinda fun to read your review of things.

Tod said...

I wasn't diggin Vigo's beard either. I think he should wear his Aragorn look,(complete with sword) at all times... phwaaarrr!

Thanks for the round up!

Heidi the Hick said...

Tod- agreed! He could be Aragorn every day and I'd be happy! You're welcome for the round up!

APW- do not ever feel old and lumpy! Here's what I've learned about awards shows, and maybe I should have made a bigger deal about this:

There are a lot more "normal" people in there than you think. I watch with different perspective now that I've been part of it! They put all the famous nominees in the front row (and Jaaack Nicholson) but that place is jammed with behind the scenes people. Think how many people you've never heard of took the walk to the stage!

The trick is that only the beautiful and famous get the loving camera time. And don't kid yourself, they aren't getting ready for the party by themselves in half an hour!

It's all bizness.

(Is it strange that the thought of Viggo Mortensen with a covered wagon and a team of oxen is very appealing to me???)

Heidi the Hick said...

One more thought...

Maybe when he's done the Brigham flick he could do one about Menno?

Molly O'Keefe said...

Thank you Hick Chic -- that was the fix I needed! A shot of Cate Blanchett - so beautiful and Viggo Mortenson -- so wild. Now I feel like I've seen the show -- except for that Once song - I do want to see that.

coffeypot said...

I just can't get into it. Maybe the porn awards, but not this stuff. Sorry!

CindyDianne said...

I like the mermaid dress...

Didn't watch the show though!

JKB said...

Johnny is just...Johnny. Pure perfection. His girl's not bad, either. She could be some kinda scary, I think.

Tilda is so great. She's my hero.

The Adult in Question said...

Vanessa Paradis there looks like she would swallow your soul. She is a cross between goth and emo girl...do you think she sits in her room and thinks about how much she hates the world? Just wondering. I do like her better with dark hair though. I will give her that one.

The Adult in Question said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi the Hick said...

Vanessa's kind of Morticia there, isn't she?

I say that as a kid who looooved Morticia.