www.flickr.com

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

How to recognize Heidi and Jethro

It's awards show season, which for a homebody like me, who only turns on the TV for entertainment related shows, is a high point of the year. Spring, my butt. I hate spring. Sure, I look forward to winter loosening its frozen grip, but c'mon. Spring is nasty. There, I finally admitted it. In town, I've got melting dog crap in the back yard; at the farm, a melting manure pile. I have this to look forward to. Bring on the red carpet, I say!

I'm nervously anticipating the Juno nomination announcement. Last year we were already figuring at this time of year that we maybe should just stay home. It's expensive to do an awards show for real, like, actually being there. Costs nothing to watch it at home in your ragged old sweatpants. It looks glamorous but it's not cheap.

Then he got nominated. Our event tickets were free...all we had to do was get there, buy a couple of meals, and find a place to sleep. You know and then there was always that thing about him winning the award, not that I'm getting all big headed about it, but just to reiterate: he was nominated and he won.

Have I mentioned how much I love awards shows?

It's great to get all dressed up. It only happens once a year. We have to make it count.

Here's our latest look, and some easy pointers for recognizing us.



First hint : the all black suit. That is how a man dresses for a special occasion. All black. Cannot go wrong.

Next: the slight, almost undetectable sprinkling of silver in the beard. Oh help me, I'm weak in the knees. Were grey hairs always dead sexy on a man, or am I getting old? Who cares. I dig it.

Next: the lock grip on the wife's hand. Grab her and haul her. That's how ya do it.


Of course, you can recognize the mouthful of teeth from across a pasture field.

If all else fails, you can always pick out the forehead vein. (You can enlarge that picture to really see it!) I'm often mistaken for Julia Roberts because of this. Well, that and the teeth and the lips. We're almost like sisters, really. Sort of.

You can always spot parents who've been busted out of the house for an evening without the kids...




I'd like to take a second to say, quickly, that just because a woman wears a big floaty dress, does not necessarily mean that there's another one on the way. Sometimes we opt for comfort. And yes, thank you, my boobs do look awesome. Thanks. I'm as surprised as you are, believe me.

Gosh, we look so nice.

I can't wait to see what we wear to our next big high toned to-do!

24 comments:

Tod said...

Where did she get that dress? Maybe she did a Scalet O'Hara and tore down the curtains! :)

Biddie said...

LOL. I forgot to ask you last nite about the nominations. When will you hear? Where are the Junos this year?
BTW, you both look fabu!

dilling said...

um, I hope you don't really look like that...
they give me the absolute creeps...ick.
sorry, it's true.
major heebiejeeies...ick.

coffeypot said...

The woman in the picture is cute, but she ain't no Heidi. You'll knock'em dead.

katy said...

hope we get to see what you both really wear.

Heidi the Hick said...

Hee hee hee!

Yes I do think that dress was designed by Scarlett O'Hara! I actually kind of like it. It's very, um, earthy.

Bid, the nominations are announced first week in February, so next week some time we'll find out. The Junos are in Calgary and I want so very very bad to go to Calgary!!!! So I hope we get a nomination, otherwise, we can't afford to go!

Dilling, you are the only person I know who finds him totally creepy, and it just makes me love ya even more!

Coffeypot. Awww...

I have higher heels than hers.

Katy, I hope I get to show off!!

FOUR DINNERS said...

hello awesome boobs ;-)

JKB said...

I just really, really love your hair.

So ... conditioned.

Super-cool about the Juno thing, I just went and read the post. Belated congrats!! ;)

The Adult in Question said...

I'm heartbroken that you are in camp Angelina.

LadyBronco said...

I am in awe at the fact that the dress defied gravity like that quitre frankly.

How the hell did it stay up??

Balloon Pirate said...

very nice. which one's you?

yeharr

Heidi the Hick said...

It's okay, I'm not a permanent resident of Camp Jolie.

But I never bunked up at Camp Jennifer either.

As for the gravity defying...I dunno. Shirt glue? Toddler snot???

Nicole said...

Geez, Heidi and Jethro. Get a room!

Anita said...

I actually agree with Dilling... I have never understood the world's attraction to him... He wouldn't warrant a backward glance by me if I passed him on the street...

I can't wait to see and hear about YOU two, the REAL celebrities... :)

captain corky said...

I'm thinking about wearing this outfit to annual Captain's Ball this year... What do you think?

dilling said...

Yay for me and Anita!!!!

Heidi the Hick said...

Nicole, hee hee hee!

Corky- WEAR THAT. You look GORGEOUS.

I'm serious. So commanding and confident. I hear chicks dig that.

yay for Anita and Dilling!

I can't stop liking him. I blame Thelma and Louise. Although I have to say that Angie definitely brings out the WEIRD in him.

Of course in my strange little world, that's a good thing...

jules said...

Cute couple, but that dress?
Puh-leeze Heidi, you certainly can find anything more flattering than that, can't you? Something a bit more curvaceous maybe? You're so much cuter.

And him? H.U.N.K.Y. But I'm like that. I like Johnny too.

Heidi the Hick said...

I might have to re-run last year's dress, or the one I wore two years in a row before that. I have to buy new chaps this year and a nice western shirt for my Instructor's test. I can't afford a new dress!!!!

I don't even know if we're going yet or not.

Heidi the Hick said...

You know, this is really goofy of me to state earlier that I don't want to show our faces, then leave a link in this post to the one in which we show our faces...


Clearly, I am just MESSIN WITH YOU NOW.

Just a big ol tease.

sorry.

dilling said...

I could send you a dress...
send you a photo of it and you decide? I bet you have a few readers with dresses and funky tastes...I know an exceptional one of a kind dressmaker here...she is in school right now but maybe has something already done that she'd want seen on the red carpet?

Heidi the Hick said...

Dilling, did you mention her already? Last year I wore something from Peach Berserk in Toronto.

Oh wait, I said that wrong...

"I'm wearing Peach Berserk."

That's how you answer when they say "Who are you wearing?" Which nobody asks me cuz I'm a nobody!!! hahaha!!!!

Send me pictures! Yes! Believe it or not I love dresses. They're just impractical for year round Dog walking/ stall cleaning/ laundry shuffling/ stuff!

rain said...

Just once I would like someone to ask me who I'm wearing. Recently someone sugggested that the sweater I was wearing used to be black and maybe I shouldn't use TIDE..
I still like the old Brad, the Thelma and Louise Brad.

I want a Peach Berserk dress. I think, alas, I am not thin or perky enough...
http://www.peachberserk.com/

Heidi the Hick said...

Rain, Kingi makes clothes for every shape of woman! I've been in her store- Peach Berserk is incredible. I guarantee you could find something for you and if you didn't, she'd make if for you. (Yes, I ventured into the city just to go there.)

Nobody asks me who I'm wearing though. I think this has much to do with my lack of fame- which I'm mostly okay with.

When I was in my Sassy Pink Dress, I got some compliments and I always said, "thanks! It's from Peach Berserk!!!"