How to recognize Heidi and Jethro

It's awards show season, which for a homebody like me, who only turns on the TV for entertainment related shows, is a high point of the year. Spring, my butt. I hate spring. Sure, I look forward to winter loosening its frozen grip, but c'mon. Spring is nasty. There, I finally admitted it. In town, I've got melting dog crap in the back yard; at the farm, a melting manure pile. I have this to look forward to. Bring on the red carpet, I say!

I'm nervously anticipating the Juno nomination announcement. Last year we were already figuring at this time of year that we maybe should just stay home. It's expensive to do an awards show for real, like, actually being there. Costs nothing to watch it at home in your ragged old sweatpants. It looks glamorous but it's not cheap.

Then he got nominated. Our event tickets were free...all we had to do was get there, buy a couple of meals, and find a place to sleep. You know and then there was always that thing about him winning the award, not that I'm getting all big headed about it, but just to reiterate: he was nominated and he won.

Have I mentioned how much I love awards shows?

It's great to get all dressed up. It only happens once a year. We have to make it count.

Here's our latest look, and some easy pointers for recognizing us.



First hint : the all black suit. That is how a man dresses for a special occasion. All black. Cannot go wrong.

Next: the slight, almost undetectable sprinkling of silver in the beard. Oh help me, I'm weak in the knees. Were grey hairs always dead sexy on a man, or am I getting old? Who cares. I dig it.

Next: the lock grip on the wife's hand. Grab her and haul her. That's how ya do it.


Of course, you can recognize the mouthful of teeth from across a pasture field.

If all else fails, you can always pick out the forehead vein. (You can enlarge that picture to really see it!) I'm often mistaken for Julia Roberts because of this. Well, that and the teeth and the lips. We're almost like sisters, really. Sort of.

You can always spot parents who've been busted out of the house for an evening without the kids...




I'd like to take a second to say, quickly, that just because a woman wears a big floaty dress, does not necessarily mean that there's another one on the way. Sometimes we opt for comfort. And yes, thank you, my boobs do look awesome. Thanks. I'm as surprised as you are, believe me.

Gosh, we look so nice.

I can't wait to see what we wear to our next big high toned to-do!