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Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Most Difficult Time Of The Year... (made better)

Although I am feeling much better this year, it's still often a struggle to get excited about the whole project. I've decided this year to just dump the guilt. This is me, this is my life, this is the way it is. I ain't keeping up with anybody.

I am too scattered and anxious to throw a real party? Fine. I'll throw an imaginary party! Too broke to spend money of gifts? Okay. Everybody's getting a box of oranges. Haha.

You know what I want for Christmas? I want to go to church on Christmas Eve and then hunker down in my mom's living room with the whole fam damily for cookies and presents that were lovingly selected for each other.

The next morning, after I open my birthday gift, I want to go out to the barn. I'll see Phoenix's smart face over his stall, looking like if he could speak my language he'd ask me what took me so long. I'll see the little mare's pink speckled muzzle before she ducks back into her stall to look out at the back door...just to let me know what to do next.

I want my kids to come out to the barn with me. We'll pitch hay out to our horses, then clean up the barn, sweep up every bit of hay and every stray piece of pine shavings. We'll go outside and rub our mittened hands over those thick winter coats, watch their breath curl out of their nostrils, listen to their massive teeth grinding up the hay.

Then go in, have a big breakfast, and read all of our Christmas gifts! (Yeah I have a good idea what I'm getting.)

Later on I want us to bundle up and get out the sleds and throw ourselves down the hill. We'll laugh and pant and sweat under all our heavy coveralls and coats.

That's what I want for Christmas.

And an imaginary party. Come back tomorrow and keep your fingers crossed that everybody's computers are in working order.

17 comments:

Adrienne said...

Sounds just lovely. The ideal Christmas really. I hope it becomes a reality!

Hon, I have awarded you a Roar, for powerful writing in blogs . . . thing. . . anyway, come to my blog to check it out!

katy said...

Heidi this sounds like a brilliant Christmas, and you know what? I would love to be there too.
looking forward to the party, if i am not to drunk from the first party to attend!!!

dilling said...

You mind if we start partying now? Why limit ourselves?
You know, something arrived from my sister yesterday and I already opened it...cuz she's my sister and I had a damn good idea what it was(and I was right) and that I could use it for somebody else, if I needed to(not that I will need to)...guess what it was?!? Raising Sand. I hope she didn't get it for our brother cuz I already sent it to him for his birthday in October!

Heidi the Hick said...

Dilling, somebody out there needs a copy of Raising Sand. Okay, like, everybody does.

Heck yes, we can start the pre-party warm up right now!

Katy, I hope we all get the kind of Christmas we want. And I don't mind what shape you're in when it comes to imaginary christmas parties!

Adrienne! I hope so too! (thank you , I'll be right over!)

jules said...

That Christmas you just described? It sounds heavenly. Can I come? I LOVELOVELOVE me some horses.

terry said...

i think that sounds like a wonderful christmas. just perfect.

what time's the party??

Heidi the Hick said...

Jules, I can take pictures!!

Terry I want to start the party tomorrow...of course feel free to get into a party mood now...I'm anxious that my bestest bud won't have her computer fixed by tomorrow though!

Everybody get your brainwaves busy on cosmically fixing Biddie's computer. Or something. Cross fingers or whatever you do. Hope.

It just won't be a party without her!

dilling said...

Where's Olly with the Martini fixings?!? Am I going to be the only early bird?
Heidi, what would you like me to bring? Homebaked bread? Key Lime Pie? An entree?

Balloon Pirate said...

happy birthday! i'll be there. i'm bringing cigarettes and caffeinated coffee.

yeharr

Biddie said...

I'll be there. Well, at the party. It's a long walk to yer mom's place from here :)

Olly said...

Hell, yes! I'll get the cranberries out of the freezer and start mixing up the martinis. It's gotta be four o'clock somewhere!

rain said...

I dashed out on my imaginary lunch hour to get the fixings for my imaginary potluck dish and for my imaginary Yellow Tail Bubbles. I think I'll be ready in time. I hope I don't get fired for partying from work tomorrow...I think I'll wear my imaginary slinky dress (trust me, you will want it to only be imaginary).

A Paperback Writer said...

Wow. Heidi, your Christmas sounds straight out of Little House in the Big Woods. Can you get Grandma to dance a jig, too?
What memories you'll give to your kids. I sure hope you get your Christmas wishes; you deserve them. God bless you. :)
And, can I come to your imaginary party? I've had to decline every real party invitation I've had this year because I come home too wiped out from school every single day.

Heidi the Hick said...

Heck yes you can come to my imaginary party! Now that I know Biddie's back online, the party is ON.

All day party, people!

Imaginary potluck!!!

Pirate, cigarettes???? I thought you were done with that! Oh wait- IMAGINARY! Okay. I have an imaginary front porch you can smoke 'em on, hee hee hee hee!

coffeypot said...

I’m going to convert to Jehovah Witnesses until the holidays are over.

CindyDianne said...

Come on! I am ready to start the part! To hell with fashionable late and all that stuff! Let's go Heidi! Open the doors!

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm on my way!!!