Dear Male readers of this blog:
You might not want to read this today.
That's your warning.
Dear Female readers of this blog:
You might not want to either.
Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way...!
I AM GRUMPY TODAY. CRABBY. NASTY. IRRITABLE. CRUSTY. MEAN. WITCHY. NEED I ELABORATE?
My back hurts, my belly hurts and I've got two little cannonballs hanging off my chest filled with stinging insects. Yes it's like that. Okay? I don't really like anybody today. Don't take it personally. I don't even like my dog today.
I have still just enough compassion to feel sorry for my husband.
And just enough pride left to notice that my cannonballs look awesome. They cannot be so much as breathed on without me screaming but they look great. I've just been shoulder hugging everybody lately. That is, when I feel like hugging somebody which is kind of rare this week.
It's been said over and over that at least I recognize it! Yes, I do. It was sometime after both kids were born, so I must have been over 26, when I looked at my man one day and said, "Was I always this cranky before I get my period or is this something new since I had babies?"
The poor guy leaned back, horror stricken, terrified, weighing which of the Yes or No answers was more likely to get him killed.
Sure I am aware of it but I'm still mean as a barn cat with a tail full of burrs. Or something. The only saving grace is that I can warn my loved ones to stay the hell away from me for their own good. And that it's not them, it's me. Actually it is a little bit them. They just have to learn to not bug me!
Gah. Right now at this moment, Jethro, who was supposedly checking his email, has informed me that it was twenty seven years ago yesterday that John Bonham died.
I am having a crappy week.
Waaaaaaahhhhhhh.
Well. I'm going to get in my truck and drive out of town and go visit a couple of sweet mares who don't belong to me, but whom I've been spending so much time with that I'm more comfortable with them than with my own horses. Yesterday's ride on the Shiny Red Mare was a gentle twenty minute walk. That's all my innards could handle. Today I'll be amazed if I get as far as saddling up. It might just be a brushing and an apple feeding.
I'll be having a little virtual memorial farewell for my old Mac Black on Friday. Don't laugh at me for mourning a computer. You should see me when I have to get rid of a car. It's ugly.
Now go have a good day. Think of me. I'm giving GOOD a day OFF.
20 comments:
~waving white flag~
Boy, am I ever glad that I phoned you last night. YOU were WAY less crusty.
I forgot to tell you that I love your book. Honestly, I can just close my eyes (but then it's hard to read) and I am right back there.
Amazing. You rock.
Yeah, I had a bad night last night and that kind of put a cloud over today, I guess. I was kinda crusty last night when I talked to you but I could get over it for awhile!
...does this mean you read the book? The whole thing? With your eyes closed?
LOL. Yes, with my eyes closed. My amazing fake eyes.
No, I am a few pages in. My concentration still sucks, but I am working on it. It is so easy to get into. I feel like you're writing about us - all of us from Smallburg. I love the way that you wrote Tom's first chapter...The way that you described him, his hair, his jacket blowing out behind him in the wind....
I am going to read some more today. I REALLY, honestly love it.
Would I lie to you?????
Sorry? Feel better? Kiss a mare???
Whichever one of those is most likely to keep me out of trouble is the one I would like you to choose.
I am SO glad I don't have those problems anymore!
*waving a white flag*
My sympathies... And sending good vibes...
I usually don't drive when I feel like that. It's the only time when road-rage becomes an issue, especially if I'm in a really big vehicle!
Condolences on your Mac.
I feel the same way about things. My family had to pry my fingers off my old car. Luckily, the boy is purchasing it, so it really still is in the family. I was so mad at the husband for purchasing me a new vehicle. He took me to the car lot and said we are not leaving till you pick something out. I pouted, stomped my food and was a total witch for a good hour, till I realized he was serious. I got one, but I don't like it.
you be grumpy and i will be dopey, so who are going to be the rest of the 7 dwarfs?!
hope it soon passes
"The poor guy leaned back, horror stricken, terrified, weighing which of the Yes or No answers was more likely to get him killed."
Yea you nailed that one. Only a woman in the depth of her most evil, ah, period, would present the man she loves with such a choice. Lose my arms at the elbows or just hands at the wrists? Hmmmm.
Oh man, this is funny- I warn you all away and yet I still have commentors...
oh my gosh I love you all so much you guys are so great you like me you really like me!!
Matt---sorry! On behalf of all pre-menstrual women! Seriously, husbands in general amaze me that they somehow figure out that their wives go nuts for a couple of days every month...and then they get her back again for awhile. Guys are good. Guys, good.
Katy- the other dwarves are named Bloaty, Achy and Snappy! (I'll feel better in oh, about a week or so!)
Chocolate, the funny thing is that I resisted two years ago when he bought that used Mac for me. I didn't want it and then I didn't want to give it up. I'm just so sentimental about objects! I'm glad you understand.
Olly, haha!! Luckily I was fairly mellowed out when I drove out to the barn today. Yeah, lucky. Cuz I drive a full size GMC pickup truck!
I got your good vibes Anita! Thank you.
Cindy, I chose the mare option. She has the loveliest velvety muzzle. I chose the brown and white pony today. She's very undemanding. And I only walked because her bouncy trot would have hurt the lil cannonballs too much...
Biddie, my dear, thank you for loving it. I mean it. It is about and for all of us from Smallburg and from every Smallburg out there.
I'm REALLY glad you liked Tom. That'll come in handy later.
Thank you for being my most favouritest cheerleader. You is the bestest.
Yikes! You got it BAD (how's that for sympathy?)
Good thing it isn't permanent...and there's menopause to look forward to, right?
Hmmmmmmmmm. Maybe we need to go back to the "Red Tent" days?
ROTFLMAO!!
I know you're feeling poorly, but damn, that was one funny post!
:)
Poor little Mac. Hope you're feeling better...:)
Have mercy on us for God's sake. I mean, would you want to be acting like this when Johnny walked in?
Therese- yep only another ten to twenty years to go. yeesh.
Hill- Y'know, I wouldn't mind a red tent to hide in right now. As long as it's waterproof and warm and somebody brings me food and reading material. And then GOES AWAY! haha!
Anissa I'm actually feeling worse tonight but my kids "made" supper tonight. They will never starve because they have learned how to open a can and turn on a burner. And turn it off after...
Coffey, this is not a great time for Johnny to show up. I'm sooooooo uglyyyyyyy!
No matter how much Jame recognizes what the issue is, and I know that we both recognize what the issue is, it's a death sentence for him to say "I think you're pmsing". Death. Sentence. For you, Heid, I prescribe: bed, a trashy book, and a big honking pile of chocolate, oh yeah and a glass of red wine, if you imbibe. Do you have Purdy's out East? A big bag of Tiger Butter would fix you up right.
Always wondered if there was anybody on this planet like Caz. The management makes you sound like a pussy cat.
I often hide in the loft when necessary.
i gotta tell ya... my PMS and periods have only gotten more problematic as i've gotten older.
and now that i'm fairly certain i'm perimenopausal, it's even worse.
that's not really what you wanted to hear, is it??
have some chocolate, spend some time with the horses, and take good care.
we're saying goodbye to our pellet stove tomorrow... of course, I won't miss it too much with the new sexy red one coming in...the one that is efficient, and quiet and no muss, no fuss.
have biddie send me that book when she's done, k?
I feel for you Heidi! Men should be soooooo glad I can't cast a wish. *evil glare at y-chromosomes*
Given that I'm 47 I've found that acupuncture works great for hot flashes. And if yer done having kids, have an endometrial ablation. No periods since June 23, 2006. Do I love it??? OH YEAH!!!!
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