Me, Johnny and Orlando

As you may already know, my fascination with the one and only Johnny Depp started with Edward Scissorhands. Before Edward, I really didn't know much about this guy other than his almost unnatural prettiness. My friends had pin ups from the show about the fake cops which I never watched, and I'd stare at the pin ups, agree that he was otherworldly gorgeous, not admit that the pout was tiresome, and then moved on.

You’d think I’d be into movies about monster trucks, not the sad little monster creation of reclusive genius, but it makes perfect sense that growing up in the country with cold black winter nights would create a love of the dark side in me. Edward won my heart and I was hooked.

But this being the early 90s there were other things taking up room in my heart, specifically, my boyfriend becoming my husband, my failed college try, my fledgling horse career, and then my new baby. And then my second new baby. I didn’t see many movies in the 90s. I don’t really remember much of the 90s, honestly.


I had a few moments of catching up with Johnny. I got little bits of Gilbert Grape on the movie channel at the studio waiting for Jethro to get done work. I saw parts of Don Juan DeMarco, but not the beginning or ending, and I saw the part of Chocolat where he’s gonna take the squeak out of her door. Every time I’d have to not see the whole thing I’d tell myself that one of these days, one day I’d rent it, and the kids would go to sleep and stay asleep so I could see the whole thing.... some day...

Then this little movie project caught my ears, an unbelievable undertaking that I was convinced was a hoax. I couldn’t believe that anybody would be foolish enough to even attempt it. It took me over a decade just to read the Lord of the Rings, and I had to read it in installments. I figured it would be a disaster. Until I saw the commercials and thought, Hmm, looks alright. Who’s that cute little blonde elf person?

One of my friends went to see it, thought it was crap, but said, “You should see it, Heidi. That elf dude with the long blonde hair? Totally up your alley. Totally your bag. Totally your thing. You’d like him a lot.”

So I did, and I did.


I credit the whole mess of hobbit/ elf/ king movie trilogy with getting me to watch movies again. It reminded me that I used to really like movies. I had some catching up to do. My Edward Scissorhands had been very busy while I was off gestating and lactating for a few years.

And I kind of liked that Orlando Bloom person. He made me feel like a dirty ol mama for sure, but it really wasn’t so bad! Legolas the elf was all noble and perfect and I probably wouldn’t like him much in real life because of that, but, all the archery and horse riding....that’s just fun good stuff.




Soon after, I had the TV on one evening when a very loud commercial roared into the room. Ships! Pirates! Swashing! Buckling! And what’s this? Is that... is that...Johnny Depp? And...Orlando Bloom? In the same movie?

It’s like I’d been waiting all my life for that and didn’t even know it.



You’d think I’d be into cowboy movies, being a landlubber like I am, but being of a somewhat rebellious nature it makes perfect sense. Pirates are outlaws. I’m not really much of an outlaw in real life, not really. It makes perfect sense that growing up in the country surrounded by a family of good Christians would create a love of outlaws in me!

Besides, take a pirate off a ship, swap the tricorn for a stetson, and what have you got? Well, basically you've got a rubber legged confused criminal but try to work with me here Okay?

I’m serious, if Johnny Depp ever makes a real cowboy movie I’ll forget my own name. Wha???

So, devilish, sneaky fast talkin Captain Jack and trusting, noble, perfect, and slightly naive Will Turner won my heart.



Clearly I am shallow but I’m okay with that. Really, I’m okay with it.


So I would just like to take this opportunity to thank Johnny and Orlando for being so very entertaining. And so swashing. And so very buckling.