I was standing beside my truck, in my freshly paved driveway, in my very nice suburban neighbourhood. It was damp and rainy. There were these huge maggots crawling across the pavement, so of course I had to go stomp on them. They were huge; duckling sized. Huge maggots. And smart too- when I stomped on one, the other one took off like 90 trying to get away from my destructive stomping power. I was faster though, and when I squashed it under my foot, it disintegrated into silky milkweed spores and blew away.
So.... this leaves me with two questions. Feel free to take a shot at an answer.
1) How come I don't have dreams about handsome men whom I will never meet in real life?
2) Is it time to find a new pshrink?
and a 3rd question: will I regret broadcasting this dream all over the intermittent net?
Now, because I promised you List Week, and realized that there are two lists in my notebook that aren't very thrilling and the other two I'm saving, I choose to present today's Hick Chic Million Dollar Wish List! Actually a million wouldn't even get it started...
-a stereo in my truck. Damn I am getting sick of the sound of my own singing.
-some new clothes that fit my rapidly expanding backside.
-new stalls in the barn.
-new horse
-horse trailer. To bring new horse home.
-new saddle, but I'd take a used one- less breaking in.
-a nice belgian mare for Jethro. (He could do sleigh rides in the winter!)
-new clothes for my man. To fit his rapidly shrinking waistline. His lovely figure. His dashing physique.
-music lessons again for my kids.
-nice fixed up tooth for my bestest.
-train tickets for her trip out east next spring. And a new dress. A whole new outfit. She deserves.
-a new kitchen cabinet. (because the floor is a bad place to store cooking utensils.)
- a dishwasher.
-a new bathroom for my mom.
-a Ford 9N tractor for Jethro.
-a mid 50s to early 60s John Deere (any model) for me.
-a red VW rabbit for bombin into town.
-my old couch reupholstered.
-waiting room for dad's shop.
-a cure for diabetes.
-10 - 50 acres, stone or brick house, good barn with high ceilings in ground floor, and good fences.
I don't ask for much eh?
So what the heck was that dream about???
22 comments:
duckling sized maggots?
freshly paved driveway?
EWH! I am not sure which is worse! ok, well. The maggots are worse, but still.
You have a great list. I think I'll make a million dollar list too. Mind if I copy?
I'd love to see your Million Dollar list! I didn't expect my Crush List to go so big but wasn't that fun?!?
Yeah, the paved driveway... no doubt, it's nice. Shovelling snow is so easy now, without the tire ruts and the gravel around the house where the foundation had to get dug out last year (shudder). It does look nice too. But it's so...suburban.
Maybe that's what the maggots were about. My subconscious attempt to dirty up the city a little bit?
ewww. no comment on the dream!
If I had a million dollars, I would share it with you!
oh Tim, think of all the concerts we could go to!!
Are you trying to make me cry? Honestly...I wish for all of things, too, and just enough money to go see a movie every other week.
You know, Shawn could help you with some of these things. Like the kitchen cabinets and the bathroom. We should brian storm! Your mom totally deserves a new bathroom. A nice place to soak that bad knee....Cabinets can't be that difficult, either. Seriously, let's brain storm...
I wish that I could give you everything on your list, too. If I had a million $$$, you would be in a new/old farm so fast, your head would be spinning!
missus, if i was around i'd rehupolster yer couch fer you...
that's the best i can offer...
If I had a million dollars I would get it all in small bills and swim in it. Then I would spend it Paris Hilton style - on nothing. lol
My mom says that I would sleep on it with a big grin on my face like Scrooge McDuck.
I want a guitar and lessons.. I have for the last year and I still do..
My answers:
1) Because you have Jethro and don't need to have dreams about other men, famous or not.
2) I don't know much about shrinks, but if you don't feel better (tuned up?) after a visit with him then maybe you need a change.
3) No.
Love the wish list. My #1 wish if I found myself with a million dollars, would be that noboby knows I have it. Then I could go from there.
Hey, maybe you can find a music teacher that has a kid that wants (horse) riding lessons. Maybe you could barter that service. Just a thought...
Biddie you know that in a perfect world we're like Gayle and Oprah and we constantly spend money on each other and then cry tears of joy about it. Because it's all so meaningful!!!! I'd buy you the entire doll sized cast of the A Team just because it'd make you smile.
Cara- nice! My cat got a headstart on taking the existing upholstery off if it...
KC- you could spend it efficiently I'm sure! But you better bring a film crew because you belong on TV.
Terrible Lie- then you should get! Go to the music store and get the starter package. Buy a book with those little charts showing you where to put your fingers, then strum like a maniac. (Maybe I should pull out a guitar and start playing again...!)
jj- I used to have dreams like that about firing everybody on my school bus. I still don't know how that would work!
Yankee-
1)good answer. yes!
2) he's the government supplied pshrink...I have start looking elsewhere.
3) Good!
Yeah, if I really did get that kind of money I would keep it a secret. That way I could just sneakily sneak it out to my loved ones and nobody would be the wiser.
As for the last suggestion... the boy's former music teacher is in a fledgling band with decent chops. Jethro says it would take five months for him to earn enough studio time to record a demo. I'm still working on it. We'll see.
Answer number one is that you have the best man in the world for you and no other man can compare in your wildest dreams.
Answer number two is that if you have to ask the question it is probably time for a change.
Answer number three is you will never go wrong asking your Blogger friends questions. I believe they have better answers than any shrink – especially me – I’m brilliant, brilliant I tell ya.
And why are maggots crawling around without something dead to feast on?
Hey look everybody...ASKINSTOO IS BACK!
He only has a $900 wish list. Come on Askinstoo. Aim higher.
Coffeypot- I have nothing to add to that except that yes, you are a wise man, brilliant I say!
an island...i would buy an island. although for a million, it would probably be a pretty small one, maybe not in a hospitable climate, maybe not even habitable...can we make it a higher number? i REALLY want a nice island.
oh and by the way? Bare Naked Ladies have been playing in my head ALL DAY!!
Thanks for that.
Dilling, you could buy a small island and a nice green dress, but not a REAL green dress, that's cruel.
You're welcome! And it could have been worse...you could have been thinking of Alice Cooper's Million Dollar Babies.
D'oh!
yes, i see how it could be worse!!!!!
dang it, now it's in my head.
Funny, you should mention that I be on TV. Because I was thinking this whole advertising thing isn't going so well. The public speaking and marketing. And, I don't really want to do it anymore. So let's get a public access show on the lame Rogers channel.
Let's do it KC! I could read a list every week and every Friday could be Johnny day! You could do podge demonstrations!
Could you do "Public Speaking" if it was called "Interviewing Rock Stars?"
This marketing thing isn't a total waste. We can use it later.
people...the milkweed....the maggots turned into milkweed....
Anybody?
Other than the maggot part I think it's kind of beautiful. I love stomping.
eeeuw, maggots...! bleah!!
my skin's crawling just thinking about it.
i SO hope you get at least ONE thing on this list. it'd be even cooler if you got all of it.
If I had a million dollars I'd probably buy more maggots ;)
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