-the funky 60s miniskirt with the little aqua and brown squares all over it (it's really cool, honest) that I wore with the shoes that my husband said looked like someting an evil teacher/secretary/ librarian would wear. (Unless her butt got too big for it)
-my Wranglers. This saddens me greatly.
-my jeans that I got to replace the jeans that I got to replace the jeans that I grew out of.
-The strappy little minidress with hot pink flowers with purple accents on a black background. And that dress has a great story to go with it- now what will I wear to weddings? I love weddings! Drinks all round!
-a couple pairs of hiphuggers. I don't want to talk about it.
-two pairs of shorts. Now all I have for summer is a larger pair of denim shorts and a pair of drawstring shorts. Drawstring. Not pretty.
-this one is really sad. My chaps. I've grown out of my chaps. Jethro gave them to me when I was 18 and they fit even after my kids were born. I can't even blame my expanding butt. I have to blame my thunder thighs.
Actually I blame the drugs. Last year I didn't give a crap about food and couldn't get my head together to cook, so we ate a lot of takeout and I got heavier. Then I went off the anti-depressants and realized that food actually tastes pretty good so I got even heavier.
Now here's the thing. I'm not overweight. And even if I was, who cares? Does being oveweight make me a bad person? No it doesn't. I don't even really look too bad. I'd rather be a few lbs lighter just because I don't feel totally physically comfortable in this version of my body. And that is totally my perception, not from comparing myself to anybody else, just from how I feel. Anyways...It's not really such a big backside. It's just that the rest of me is not very big at all.
But I'm expanding! This picture was taken in September. Those jeans are too tight now! When will it stop????? (Although I admit that when I'm dressed like this I feel really pretty. Seriously. I really am a hick.)But you know what? I'm also damn near close to 36 years old. I'm allowed to be twice the size I was when I was 16. What did I weigh back then, was I even 100 lbs? Barely. I'd look ill if I was that thin now. I am a woman and it's okay to have some padding. All of the women in my family have padding and all are beautiful.
And besides, who cares. I have great hair. Yeah, that's right. I said it. My hair is awesome. I'd have to say out of my total weight, 50% is backside and 20% is my hair but I'm not so good with numbers.
Now be nice okay? I just put a picture of my butt on the world wide frickin net and I'm convinced with this and the admittal that I kinda like dudes with tattoos who wear eyeliner that I'll regret all of this admitting and showing and truthfulness. After this I might have to close this blog and go deep undercover.
32 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. When I met my current husband 7 years ago I was a perfect size 3 with all of the right curves. I was thin and had muscle tone. I could takethose size 3 skirts and swivel them on my waist because they were loose.
7 years later I am more than twice the size I was when I met him I am 4 times the size, not that thats hard when your a size 3 to begin with. 3 divides into 12 4 times after all.
I don't mind being bigger so myc, I'm not comfortable in my body either. I don't like beig this big at all. Its much easier to find nice clothes at second hand stores when you wear a 6 or an 8. And on a plus note my boobs are huge now. I have never had big ones so its really nice to have boobs men stare at now.
But I don't like the rolls I see when I bend over or sit down and I don't like the fact that the clothes i wear don't hang loosely on my hips showing a perfect flat stomach. I just don't like it.
Yeah. Exactly. Only without the boobs part. I still got littluns, which I'm actually grateful for. I'm glad you like yours!
Wish my butt looked like yours! And your hair! OMG - I would kill to have long, gorgeous, curly hair like that! Flaunt it, honey! You look marvelous!
Thank you daaaahhhhhling...you may come back. And stay as long as you like!
I'm in the same boat. When we moved up to NH a couple of years ago, I transferred to flying international out of NY. International pilots are notorious for gaining weight, but I managed to lose 7 pounds and got down to my pre-pregnancy weight. (Bob was 15 months old when we moved.) Since then, I've gone steadily the other way. I need to lose at least 10 lbs, but I've been running less and eating the shit out of the Christmas cookies I've made!
I'm blaming it on turning 40 but it's really just eating too much and exercising too little. I think I need a cookie now...
honey -- you look GREAT!
I think that you look great, and I am TOTALLY unbiased. Completely.
all the right curves in all the right places!!!! i am suffering from that lack of feeling "healthy" myself, not of being bigger, though I am bigger...i also gave myself until new year's to be a total lazy ass...but did move my exercise stuff out where I can no longer blatantly ignore it, got my bike "tuned" up and have started shopping for better food...it was a rough year for me(and you?) and so I fell down...it happens. I am "back in the saddle" come new years...makes my aches ache less, makes my tummy flatter which makes my tattoos look better, i sleep better...yadda yadda. You are a brave woman!!!!
ducky, you are about half of me, maybe even less than half. and you have a fantastic arse!
weight is my favorite subject. and getting people talking about their bodies. admitting the "flaws" like the thigh spread when you sit down. or the panty hose chafe. you know, when yer hose or tights slip a bit and the chubby bits rub together when you walk. oh i could go on and on and on!
and then there is having a big arse and it having a diverse topography of acne and cellulite and stretch marks!
oh i'm in heaven!
ducky, you are about half of me, maybe even less than half. and you have a fantastic arse!
weight is my favorite subject. and getting people talking about their bodies. admitting the "flaws" like the thigh spread when you sit down. or the panty hose chafe. you know, when yer hose or tights slip a bit and the chubby bits rub together when you walk. oh i could go on and on and on!
and then there is having a big arse and it having a diverse topography of acne and cellulite and stretch marks!
oh i'm in heaven!
ducky, you are about half of me, maybe even less than half. and you have a fantastic arse!
weight is my favorite subject. and getting people talking about their bodies. admitting the "flaws" like the thigh spread when you sit down. or the panty hose chafe. you know, when yer hose or tights slip a bit and the chubby bits rub together when you walk. oh i could go on and on and on!
and then there is having a big arse and it having a diverse topography of acne and cellulite and stretch marks!
oh i'm in heaven!
ducky, you are about half of me, maybe even less than half. and you have a fantastic arse!
weight is my favorite subject. and getting people talking about their bodies. admitting the "flaws" like the thigh spread when you sit down. or the panty hose chafe. you know, when yer hose or tights slip a bit and the chubby bits rub together when you walk. oh i could go on and on and on!
and then there is having a big arse and it having a diverse topography of acne and cellulite and stretch marks!
oh i'm in heaven!
You look great Heidi, love the hair, love the way you fill out those jeans!
If you only knew what I would give to look just like you do in that picture! And seeing your hair makes me REALLY miss my hair... *sigh* (I AM letting it grown back out though!!) lol...
Think of everything your body does for you - not to mention the miracle of your kids! - and give it a break... :-)
frackin blogger ate all my replies to you smarties!
All I can say is, thanks! right back at ya! You made me laugh four times! You guys are great! You have pretty eyes are they real! No you're hot! Yeah!
OH and yes it's a good body and it's mine and I'm keeping it and yes I'm going to keep exercising because I feel better that way.
No, YOU'RE hot!!!!
Curves come from enjoying food, enjoying life and sometimes from creating life. All healthy and normal things. Curves say, look at me, I am a woman, I am soft where it counts and I am beautiful.
PS Your hair rocks. I'd die for hair like that! Jealous...
PS #2 This post is biased; I, too, have a healthy rear. Luckily for me, my husband loves a few soft curves on "his woman" and my friends always tell me my perception is ridiculous. The years pass and I learn; keep it within obvious limits but embrace curves and the grace of growing into our bodies. Yep. SO biased!
I don't know about the rest of that, but I do know you've got a damn sexy back end!
sorry about the four comment thing... blogger is being a bugger. hope it doesn't do it again... epp.
you look great... GREAT....
and most women would kill for hair like that! i know i would.
Miracle- well said! (thanks!)
Red- what can I say!
Cara, it's okay, it was worth reading four times!
People, I think Askinstoo is really reaching out for comfort at this difficult time of year. Ass hat.
Terry, stop short of killing. hee hee!
Now that’s a pretty cute rump on that thar filly. Wait, let me go get my denim underwear.
stop worrying you look fab:-) and that hair is bloody great
Hair is the trump card!
And little boobs are great. I wouldn't know, but I'd like to try it out. Much easier to ride horses I suspect, without have to duct tape them down anyway!
;-)
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
T.A.I.Q.: I agree. Beta blows! Comments aren't getting on my blog unless from a Google account. Arrggh!
Heidi: If I type a long comment, I highlight it and give it a quick *ctrl c* to copy it before sending to Blogger. Then if blogger eats it, I start over with a *ctrl v* and voila, comment returned. You can beat blogger too!
tee hee hee. Oh dangit blogger is the unpopular girl at the party now!!
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