Guys named John and Women who Don't Really Look Like Me.

Before I get to one of my favourite subjects (Guys!)...There is something very strange about my face. I look like somebody else. It's getting worse as I get older too! Every time I go somewhere other than my usual haunts, I get, "You know who you look like?" "Are you Italian because you look like my cousin!"
"Has anybody ever told you you look like Julia Roberts?"

Yes, lots of people have told me. For years. I still don't get it. She's about 10 inches taller than me and is about a bazillion bucks wealthier. But lately, I've gotten all kinds of bizarre comparisons, including once, Catherine Zeta Jones. Ha! On what planet???? A few months ago somebody told me I look like Angelina Jolie and I laughed. I mean I laughed Hard. It's good for comedy, looking like me.

Here's the short list:

-Julia Roberts. Her ears must be ringing. I hear her name a lot. I don't really get it because as far as I'm concerned, nobody looks like her.
I know what the comparison points are. She has brown eyes, I have brown eyes. She has big wavy hair, so do I. She has a huge wide smile with what appears to be a larger amount of teeth than what other people have. Me too. We both have crazy eyebrows. But I don't think I look like her.

She has a place out in in New Mexico. I wonder if she qualifies as a hick?

-Sandra Bullock. I think it's the nose. She's cool and fun and beautiful and she has her own nose as opposed to Nose #3. I don't think I look like her at all. But I have a funny little nose. She's from Texas. Automatic cool factor.




Hilary Swank. I think it's the teeth. I think she's originally from Oklahoma. Does that make her a hick? I've never been to Oklahoma but everybody I've met from there has been totally cool.



Okay that was boring. It'll probably fall like a lead balloon and you'll all be going, "Who the heck does Heidi think she is?" Well...I think I'm Heidi. If you're wondering what I actually do look like, you'll have to wait. I am going to get up the guts to show myself but I'm waiting for a special occasion. But enough with those glamorous movie stars....

GUYS NAMED JOHN!

Stamos. Finally he's on a TV show that sucks less.

Jack White counts because I’m pretty sure his mama named him John. (His real mom, not like, Meg’s mother...)



John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne. Although I don't think anybody's called him that in 35 years. Admit it, he was pretty in his youth.


John Mayer. He’s got it all- the bedroom eyes, the hair, the voice and the killer guitar chops. Unfortunately I’m not crazy about his solo work. I wish I loved his songs. He always looked slightly buzzed and I question his choice of girlfriend lately. However, I bought TRY by John Mayer Trio and it is everything I want from him.

John Paul Jones. The wall of fuzz bass sound. The unsung hero of early metal. Give him some recognish.


John "Bonzo" Bonham. My favourite drummer ever. What a groove. And those pretty English teardrop shaped eyes.


John Frusciante. I'm crazy about him lately. His spidery spooky guitar, his smoky eyes, his pretty lips, and I can forgive him for his scrawniness and the way he lost all his god-given teeth.



Johnny Cash. If you don't get it, I can't explain.

John Christopher Depp II. See now I don't know why people don't tell me I look like him, since we have the exact same cheekbones.



Ahhhhh......

Okay, I'm off to run a series of irritating errands, and to tolerate the whole thing I'm choosing to think about the loved ones that I'm buying things for. Then I'm going to come home, look at my blog with the pictures, and pop a panic pill. It's all gonna be oooooookaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!