www.flickr.com

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Heidi's History of Crushes

(But first, I'm pleased to tell you that my old cat has perked up over the last few days and I've asked him to stick around for awhile longer. He winked at me and purred...)

As promised, and planned, special to kick off the weekend...MY CRUSHES.

Shaun Cassidy started the whole thing. I was eight years old, going to Grandma’s house for Sunday dinner, clutching my teenie magazine to my scrawny body, babbling about how cute Shaun was and how much I loved him. One of my aunts looked at me and blurted, “But Heidi...You’re eight!” I had a Shaun Cassidy shirt. I think it was the one with the silver satin jacket. If I ever find one like that again I’m gonna get it!!!

Looking back now I think, y’know, what was he? Seventeen? Like, is that legal? Feel kinda dirty just looking at the pictures now. Cute, wasn’t he???

A few years later, in a teenie magazine, I saw John Stamos. I started watching a soap opera because of him. Kid you not. See? I’ve always been a sucker for a pretty face. Well I got sick of Days of Another World Turning, and then he became Uncle Jesse, and I cooled off. Just last week I discovered that he’s on ER. I don’t usually watch it (not good with blood and guts and tears, unless I wrote it) but it’s on my one channel so... He is so much hotter now than he was twenty-odd years ago. Or maybe I’m into guys over 35 now and wasn’t when I was twelve...

Then I discovered real boys. I had two “boyfriends” in grade 8. I did not speak or look at either one of them for the entire week that I “went out” with them.

Well, then I discovered Duran Duran. I first saw them in- what? A teenie magazine- and wasn’t at first impressed. I couldn’t see their faces through their hair. Then I heard Union Of The Snake, was totally freaked out by the bass, and then took a closer look at the bass player. I loved them fiercely for a few years. I still have a collection of Star Hits magazines that I will never part with! But after a few albums, they seemed to more interested in photo sessions than recording sessions...

Sometimes I still put on Rio. I still think their first album is very cool. They wrote some interesting songs. Last year for my birthday, my husband gave me the Duran Duran concert video for my birthday. Yeah. I swooned all the way through it. They’re holding up okay. Plus, of course, they're English.

Right around that time I fell deeply, tingly in like with a boy whom I will call Donny. He wasn't much taller than me, a year older than me and super cute. I mean, he was soooo cute. He had gorgeous dark brown eyes, olive skin, and black hair. He was wiry and compact and cut his own hair into punkish shapes to go with his Clash T shirts. He introduced me to the Cure (which nicely prepared me for my future Edward Scissorhands fixation). He taught me how to kiss! He really liked me!! My husband still thinks I am a big meanie for breaking up with him after four months. (Puzzling...)

I haven’t seen Donny in over 18 years and I hope he’s doing well. He came from a mess of a family and he really was a nice guy.

So, next!

I met a guy who messed my head up totally and deliciously. We’ll be calling him Danny. He was 15, looked like 18, was the new kid, the Bad Ass, and cute as hell. He had hazel eyes and curly dark hair and god help me, a mustache, and shoulders that barely fit through the doorframe. To tell you about him I’d need a whole other blog, and because I will always care about him we won’t be doing that. Just trust me: it was the classic volatile teenage romance.

Danny introduced to Led Zeppelin.

Suddenly, everything changed.

Do you realize how monumental this is??? Not only will I always be grateful to him for showing me who my favourite band is, but because I fell in love with Danny, I fell in love with Robert Plant.

I was captivated by Robert’s wild golden mane. He never buttoned up his shirt. His voice made my brain short circuit. Watching him in action melted my brain thoroughly.

I will always be in love with Robert Plant! And he's English.

The crushes came on fast by then.

Keanu Reeves. Sure he was cute in Bill & Ted, but if you want to fall in love with Keanu, watch River’s Edge and Permanent Record.
I don’t care if he ever opens his mouth again though. I’d gladly just sit him on my couch and let him stare at me quizzically. Whoa.

Val Kilmer. Remember Top Secret? He was so cute! He sang on the soundtrack! Remember Willow? I loved him! (Yeah, that's a bison in the background. Cool!)
Thought he did a good job of The Doors but couldn't quite get my head around it....

Brad Pitt. It was Thelma and Louise that did it. He’s another exception to my dark and handsome preference. Brad kind of bugs me, to be honest. He’s great when he plays a slightly odd character. Johnny Suede. Snatch. Awful when he plays a slick pretty. Meet Joe Black. Plus he’s been such a bad boy lately. Dumping his wife for a crazy chick. Mind you Jethro says he did the right thing, but Jethro clearly has a thing for crazy chicks. But still. Brad can reduce me to slobbering giggles. And he took me grocery shopping in my dreams so I’ll always love him.



















Axl Rose. He's totally dubious now but back then... he was the embodiment of everything your mother is afraid of. He didn't sound or move like anybody else.









I know. He’s slimy. He’s creepy. I know. I’m sorry.

Johnny Depp. Duh. You knew that was coming! Let’s not even! It’s all been said!
Well we can still have some photos!!How can he keep getting better? He's super scruffy right now.

Chris Cornell. I walked into pub night at my college, and there was a video playing involving flames and bare chested young men with long black hair. And he screamed like hell was freezing over. I love him way more now than I did then. He just keeps sounding better and he’s gorgeous.

Jack White. I know. He’s grubby. He’s weird...and we’ve been over this before! If you’ve been around here for a while you know how I feel about Jack White! You know I dig his quirky pale cute musical freakiness!

Orlando Bloom. It was Legolas that did it. You know how I didn’t watch movies for years? I had to see Lord of the Rings. Even all pale and elf-like, I liked that kid. Then there was that little movie about pirates and you know... the rest is history...

Viggo Mortensen. Well. Speaking of Lord of the Rings... How can I not love this man? Viggo spent a lot of time running around on a horse, all straggly haired and dirty. Kind of like Euro Jesus on horseback. And like, with armour. Hmm.Then there was that little movie about a paint horse...

...and if that wasn't enough, he once played an Amish guy and has been known to take his equine co-stars home with him.







I have to include Benicio Del Toro. I don’t reallly have a crush on him but there’s something I dig about him. He's haggard and interesting. And also I went through a week where I insisted on calling my husband Benicio, until he faced me down and told me sternly that that was enough. Say it with me, come on. Bennnneech--io.

There are more. I tend to fall hard! But most of all, the biggest crush of my life is on a guy I fell for when I was 16. It wasn’t love at first sight but I noticed his long dark hair and those gorgeous green eyes right away...and soon loved his sense of humour and his goofiness, yes even his sarcasm, and his giant towering...intellect. I fell the hardest for him. I have a big crush on him right now actually.

I’d show you a picture, but, you know, he’s never been in a teenie magazine. Trust me. He’s super cute. (and he's English...)

33 comments:

Marni said...

Heidi, I swear you and I were separated at birth. We have the exact same taste in men... if you had just had Leif Garrett in your mix...

The only one I'm not crazy about is Benecio... he kind of creeps me out, but I see you aren't as crazy about him as the others.

With every picture I went "oooh! Yeah" or "OMG - love him!"...

I'll be coming back to this post again... thanks!

Marni said...

OH yea -- did you know I met John Taylor and Simon Lebon? Also met David Coverdale (from Whitesnake). And also Janie Lane from Warrant?

Yep -- die hard groupie here! :)

Life, or Something Like It said...

You know that Shaun Cassidy was my 1st crush, right? I actually was invited by a friend to one of his concerts...I think that I was 11...My parents wouldn't let me go. There was also Donnie Osmond..I saw him a few years back, and whoa baby! He's still got it.
I saw Duran Duran in Toronto when I was 17(?). Not in concert, downtown...My big brush with fame..
Your Donny. I also had acrush on him - but you know that. He didn't teach ME how to kiss, but he was soo cute. I haven't seen him in about 20 years. I hope that he's ok.
Keanu. Forever.
I hav enever had a crush on John Stamos before, but since he's been on ER, that haas changed...

Heidi the Hick said...

Marni...you rock. That's all I gotta say about that.

Biddie...

I FORGOT DONNY OSMOND!!!!

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN DONNY OSMOND?????

I had a Donny Osmond doll!!! He had purple socks!!!!

That is something, our love for Donny (both of them, haha!) that will bond us forever.

I am so ashamed for forgetting Donny Osmond.

Did I know that you saw Duran Duran? I must have been asleep that day!

JJ said...

Ooo what a fun list! My first crushes were all the guys in...wait for it...The Outsiders. C. Thomas Howell, Ralph Macchio, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Emilio Esteves...that was 7th grade, I believe. LOL Then came the rock n' rollers & MTv video bands, Duran Duran included. I didn't start appreciating Keanu until the Matrix movies, can you believe that? Sheesh. Same with Johnny Depp. I loved him in What's Eating Gilbert Grape then he kinda fell away until Don Juan de Marco. He hit again bigtime when Pirates came out. Viggo...loved him since I first spotted him in Carlito's Way...he's the Man of a Thousand Faces. Love all his different looks. Eric Bana...love his eyes and he's got amazing arms. Christian Bale? *faints* Love CB. Since I got hooked on the Queer as Folk series, a new fave is Gale Harold. Mmm hotness!

*slaps self back to reality*

Ahem. Yes. I must get back to work. So many beautiful men, so little time...

Excellent post, Heidi!

Marni said...

Donny! Holy crap! Donny!

I went to see the Osmonds when I was, like, 10 years old and all I remember is crying through the whole concert because whenever Donny would sing the girls would scream so loud I couldn't hear him. I was heartbroken! (And that was one helluva long sentence, huh?)

I still have his Pupply Love album! And one of Leif's. And a couple of Sean's. I may have to pull them out this weekend and take a listen.

What about Scott Baio or Willie Aames? Or what about Peter McNichol (Kristie's brother)... I need to stop now.

Heidi, I may do my own "crush" post. Would you mind if I snarfed your idea?

dilling said...

You know, I hate when I write a big long comment and then blogger crashes...
grrrr.
Shaun AND David Cassidy for me...I had that Shaun shirt, baby blue, and I can even find a picture of myself wearing it in my box of photos! I've seen Duran Duran about 5 timees, once opening for Bowie, which, of course, leads me to Bowie...still gots it, he does! Keaunu and Brad make me feel squeamish and not in a good way, though I did love Keanu in the Prince of Pennsylvania a lot. These days? Johnny??? Of course and for years and years, it doesn't diminish or fade... and my Vincent D'Onofrio. But perhaps my biggest, long lasting crush to end all crushes is Steve McQueen. I will still stay up til 3am watching the Great Escape or Bullit. It just doesn't matter how many times I have seen them before.

dilling said...

Oh, I do think that Bennnneech--io is dreamy, though he often creeps me out to the nth degree in his movies...why is that?

Life, or Something Like It said...

If Jethro is going to have his blog, then would you, could you, kindly link it for me? Many thanks....

dilling said...

it's me again, hoggin all your comment space...I found and posted the photo of me in my Shaun Cassidy Tshirt...also once(though not posted) wore my Fonzerelli teeshirt on school picture day...mom was pissed!

Heidi the Hick said...

Isn't this fun!!!!

What a great day! Wheee!

Heidi the Hick said...

Marni, snarf away!

Heidi the Hick said...

LOVEYS THAT I SHOULD HAVE ADDED TO THE LIST

-Donny Osmond
-Matt Dillon
-Paul Newman. I saw Hud when I was a kid, and I knew this guy was older than my dad, but wow.

Andrew said...

Heidi, you've inspired me. "The crush" is one type of relationship I have not yet written an article about. I'll have to give it some thought. For instance, would it be as politically correct for guys to list all their crushes, or would their significant others tend to get jealous. Hmmm ... I'd guess it depends on the individual relationship. Fun post, even though I failed the physical to get in here.

Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay

Heidi the Hick said...

Andrew- Nice dimples!

My husband thinks it's great. He believes that a woman should have an active and healthy mind. We are the most monogamous people in real life. All of his crushes are gorgeous women, so instead of feeling threatened I feel like I'm in good company.

Heidi the Hick said...

Okay another one I forgot, who fits into the Axl/ Benicio category of inexplicable, strangely attractive to me:

Justin Hawkins. Way too skinny, but wicked guitarist, scary vocalist, and funny as hell. And...He's English!!!

Balloon Pirate said...

what a fun foto-tour through your hormones!

yeharr

Notsocranky Yankee said...

I liked Parker Stevenson better than Shaun Cassidy (Hardy Boys). I just looked him up on IMDB and found out he was on Baywatch. I didn't watch that show though. I still can't understand the David Hasselhoff attraction and I'm not into big-boobed girls running on the beach...but I digress.)


And I always enjoy your Johnny pix!

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Oh yah, Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I don't understand what he's doing with Angelina now either. He seemed much classier before her, now it's a bit of a circus.

dilling said...

Oh...Han Solo...er Harrison Ford, back in THE day...yeah...definitely Han Solo....

The Adult in Question said...

No Comment.

Life, or Something Like It said...

Parker Stevenson...yummy. Harrison Ford? He could eat crackers in my bed any time...Sean Connery, too. Yeah, I know that he's old. But those eyes, that accent.....

Heidi the Hick said...

Forgot another one, and it's nutty, but I can't leave him out. Jack Black. He's funny and sweet and has crazy eyebrows. Not typically sexy but totally adorable in an irritating kind of way.

Proving that I am weird???

Heidi the Hick said...

ANTHONY KIEDIS!!!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with me to forget about him???

dilling said...

Handcuffs for Anthony...

JewelKowing said...

Heidi...THANKS A LOT!!! Now I will have slobbering daydreams about somehow getting into a wild moment with Orlando, Viggo, Johnny, and Anthony........ "What I got you gotta give it to your mama....." MMMMMMMMMMMMM....

I was dubbed "elf-slut" by Redneck for the first YEAR or so after the LOTR trilogy came out. Legolas.............mmmmmmmmmm.......... Talk about serious YUMMMMMMY!

And Aragorn, with his dark, disheveled self???? SUPER YUM! Don't forget that Viggo plays a MEAN, KICK-@$$ Command Master Chief in G.I.Jane.... Hoo-Ya!!!

And Johnny Depp was EXCEPTIONALLY tasty in Chocolat- "I'll come round sometime and get that squeak outta your door".....WOOO, come get the squeak outta MY DOOR!!!

Ah, a Saturday to drool over yummy men......

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh Jewel, the squeak outta my door. I know. I've never seen the beginning of that movie. Just the delicious end.

Dilling. Yeah....

her indoors said...

got to check the ages of you guys! i loved David Cassidy, i bought a CD of his not so long ago. I have Paul Newman, Lee Majors, Elvis, David Soul
Great Post

SkippyMom said...

I almost didn't get past Shaun, because I was an ANDY GIBB girl - in fact I still have the garbage can in my bathroom that my sister gave me for my 13th birthday [did I REALLY just type that? o.m.g.]

But I did read on - and you nailed just about every crush I have ever had [I had a pic of Robert Plant in my Senior Locker in HS with an ice cream cone in his mouth - slurp yummy] -

Anyhoo - I can only add one [one of my faves] Eddie Van Halen - ahhhh - oh and Mark McGuire before he stopped taking steriods - red hair and those MUSCLES - yeah, that did it for me!

Thanks so much for the walk down memory lane - you read my mind!

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Please tell me you did not have a crush on Duran Duran! Please!


Okay, you forgot one guy up there. ME!!! Put my picture up there this instant!

*just kidding*

Timmy said...

yummy post!

Timmy said...

yummy post!

Heidi the Hick said...

I am so pleased that I got FOUR MEN to comment! Guess that means you rate!

This was so much fun. I'm considering a Crush Part 2. I just can't leave anybody out but it would give you all heart attacks if I put everybody in!!!