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Monday, November 20, 2006

Farm for Sale, My ASS!!!

So on the way home from church, we see a red and white sign. Farm for Sale. Open House, Sunday, 2-4.

Of course we hop in the car at 2:05 and go across the highway, past the church and down the road. I was ready. I had my spiral notebook to write things down, things like, barn construction, bank or hip roof, ceiling height, condition of fences, overall condition of barn, drive shed yes or no, oh, and, is there a house??? That kind of important stuff.

I even brought my barn boots with me, just in case.

Well. This so called farm was not a farm in any way shape or form. It's a house. It's just a friggin house in the country. It's the kind of place I totally hate. Useless! The house is a boring big looming monstrosity with a two car garage stuck on the side. It's less than twenty years old and completely devoid of any interesting features. It sits back from the road, surrounded by a perfectly manicured lawn, spindly young trees, and fake sloping hills.

This is the kind of place that people buy when they want to go to parties and say, "OOah, yeeeeesss, we live in the country now, yeeesss, we have deer in our yard, yeesss, it's all very elegant."

And these are the kind of people who get right bent when the guy who owns the fields surrounding their little rural paradise get busy with the sh*tspreading in the spring. The farmer was there first and is making a living, or at least trying to against all odds, and yet Buffy and Biff Stuffington don't like the odour.

Needless to say...we did not go in. Although I really felt like stomping up and down the paved driveway in my sh*tboots.

17 comments:

Heidi the Hick said...

"Heavens, Buffy, country living is so nice! Our farm is so nice!"

ass hats.

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Oh well. But aren't you glad it wasn't the perfect farm with a HUGE pricetag?

Timmy said...

i guess it could have been worse. it could have been everything you ever wanted, but cant affords.

Cheers sweetie!

Life, or Something Like It said...

I know what will make you feel better...Let's t p their beautiful trees!!!!
I swear if someone that we went to high school with owns that place, I'll s**t bomb it, too.
Promise.

dilling said...

did it have a fake barn garage, too? a "farm" must have a garage, right?

RWB said...

I feel your pain...Some friends of mine just bought a "Farm"...I grew up plowing acres on a John Deere, feeding chickens and cows every morning...This little yuppie "Farm" that they bought with its spotless, air conditioned barn and its manicured field isn't a farm by a long shot!

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Buy up that place and make it what it deserves to become Heidigirl! Put some Hick Chic into it!

CindyDianne said...

This brings up a couple questions for me?

1. WHY do city folk want to go and polute the country with their presence.

2. How is land measure in Canada? Do y'all have acres too?

Heidi the Hick said...

Yankee- you may have deer in your backyard but honey, you are not a Stuffington!!!

And yeah, it's true, you and Timmy nailed it- it wasn't the perfect place with a million dollar price.

Biddie- it's the parents of someone we went to high school with. Of course.

Dilling- no fake barn garage! Not even!

Rwb- THAT is what i'm lamenting here! Gah!

Red- First I'd have to tear down the house and have some old shack moved onto it. Then I'd have to park a few ancient cars out back...I mean, it takes time to get things just right!!!

Cindy- for once I do have answers!
1) because they think it smells like fabric softener. Countless magazines and decorating shops and a lady whose name rhymes with Barfa Phewart are perpeting this myth!!!

2) okay legally being metric and all, we're supposed to be using Hectares, but only the newspaper relates in hectares. Everybody talks acres. I don't even know what a hectare is. All real estate ads are in acres.

I want about 40. I'm not asking for much. Just 40. Preferably the back 40.

The Adult in Question said...

lol.

Heidi the Hick said...

by the way, Notsocranky Yankee put a picture of a Highland steer walking across the road on her blog last week. She did NOT complain that he was ruining her property value. She took a picture of him instead!

Smartypants said...

I thought you wanted more of a barn and less of a farm.

Heidi the Hick said...

They all come with manure!

CindyDianne said...

I have land. That isn't the problem. The problem is that the land isn't in my Great State, but in our Northern Neighbor State of Oklahoma. Now, it is in the East (and prettier) side of the state, but for all it's atmosphere and remoteness, but isn't Texas.

What to do, what to do...

cara winsor hehir said...

here it is city folk buying up ocean front property and slapping up prefab housing which weathers poorly in the salt air and the high speed cable doesn't work from the mighty north atlantic winds, so they pack up and move back to town and try to sell their over priced monstrosity in a dwindling market.
there is also a trend in putting vinyl siding on historical homes. this pains me as snobby as it sounds....

Simply Amethyst said...

I am soo with you on this one...

So many beautiful old farmhouses, with so much history and life, have been torn down around here for people to build new, soul-less, "city" type houses... And these people think being a "country person" means living in the country... It's so much more than that, even if you aren't farmers or ranchers...

Coffeypot said...

Heidi, I did not have a horse when I was a kid, although I did eat like one when I was a teenager, but I was raised around those who did. And none of the barns where new. We moved into the house I was raised in when I was four years old. The people who owned the house before us had two houses in the back yard with two barns. Both were two door barns (two stalls) and the second stall of both barns had the neatest stuff to play with. All kind of stored farm equipment, saddles and bridles, pieces of mettle blades of some kind that was fun to play with. About six months after we moved in the horses were moved by the owners, but they left the barns. I had a ball. Love the pics, too. Oh yeah! My old home is now part of the City of Atlanta. Ain’t we grown up!