The Truth About Blogging.

I never thought it would mean so darn much to me.

A year ago when I started this little project (It was Jethro's idea!!!) I had a couple of goals.
-write something every day, or at least regularly
-get some stuff out of my head, other than what I put in my journal
-write something that somebody out there in this big old world might read
-see how many comments I can get.

Ha! Now I've got all these blogbuddies whom I've never met, some whose faces I haven't seen, some whose full names I don't know, and I don't know what anybody's handwriting looks like, and I've never heard any of their voices.

I spend a lot of time with these people. I feel like I know them!

I don't really. This is an interesting kind of getting-to-know but it's not....real. In a way. But at the same time, this is more real than anything else. Even in a semi-anonymous form, we are learning about each other. All of us! It's so weird!

And I totally dig it. So much, that I dragged my best friend and her daughter into it. I love it! We can catch up with each other and now have ten x the amount of inside jokes when we get together! (That's right, Biddie and I are laughing about you!)

All this time though, there is something inescapably weird about this. It's weird in a slightly unnerving way that we can all love each other so much just because we communicate through a screen. It's weird that I'm spilling my guts worldwide. It's super creepy weird that all of my words are out there now, and could be thrown in my face years from now by somebody who really believes that he/she KNOWS me. It's weird that some day, in the not so far future, I fully plan to have a novel out there on the bookstore shelves, and this here extremely public forum will work for as well as against me.

Did you know that if I plug Heidi the Hick into google, every comment I've ever made on your blog comes up?

I wonder what will come up if I plug in Heidi the Hick Johnny Depp or Heidi the Hick Brad Pitt Grocery Shopping????

I wonder sometimes what a real party of all of us would look like. Would we all like each other in real life with our nasally voices and suspicious teeth and exaggerated expressions? Would this incredibly diverse group of bloggers that I've collected actually like each other? And above all would I finally get to be the cool girl at the party????

In a very strange not quite real way, I very much like all of you and want you to keep reading. I've got lots more where this came from. Just.... don't knock on my door and expect more wit and brilliance, cuz it's so much easier to be funny in print. And also I don't shower very often. I'm a writer. And a mother. And a horse person. And a blogger. In real life I'm grumpy and scuzzy. So just don't knock on my door. I'm a hick and a hermit so don't bug me. Blog me instead ok?

So what am I saying here? I dunno. I'm tired and I have a lot of stuff to do today. I'm going to check my blog obsessively over the course of the day and I hope lots of you leave your unique scraps of wisdom to my collection. You all kinda help to make my day.

Thanks!