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Thursday, September 07, 2006

GENIUS

Today I'm going to tell you a little bit about the Boy.(Yeah, you're Gifted all right, Stunt Boy!)

He's kinda smart. I think he gets it from Jethro. I ain't so smart. Not like him anyways.

He's ten. When he was in Kindergarten, all of four years old, he would draw pictures of the space shuttle and give them lovingly to his teacher.

Once he drew the funniest picture of the space shuttle heading skywards, while the tank and boosters still stood on the lauch pad, with question marks around them. OH MY LORD. I'm snickering just thinking about it. He was FIVE!

I don't actually know if he's in the genius range but I would think not, simply because there aren't many true geniuses. Genii? Genia? Also, every mother thinks her drooling idiot is a genius so my opinion can't be trusted.

I have done some observing though...and he's not totally normal. For example, his favourite books include "Electricity One-Seven" and "Internal Combustion Engine Basics" and I'm not kidding about that. He's also a certified Dragonologist.

He's wearing his curly blonde hair in a sort of modified mullet for the last year. However, he asked me recently, with a devilish glint in his eye, if I could buy him a pocket protector.




Also you may remember that I bribed him into cutting his fingernails by promising to paint his fingernails black.

I've come to the conclusion that he's not extremely NORMAL...and I'm so relieved!

So, he's in a different school now where he's attending the full time GIFTED program. We have gotten large comedy out of this. Ask the Boy if he's gifted and he instantly goes into a droopy eyed overbite face, emitting the sound of DUH and sometimes even busting out some drool for effect.

Let me tell you about the Gifted Program Open House last spring.

Um...I can't. Most of it went over my head.

What I do remember is the amount of obnoxious parents. Wow. Tell a guy his kid's gifted and watch his chest puff up. Not in an athletic kind of way, just in a smug, condescending chest puffing kind of way. So this one Dad type guy asks a question pertaining to the statistical successes of students from the gifted program in university and post university blah blah blah. My imaginary ADD was acting up at this point, making it difficult for me to concentrate when those pictures of Johnny Depp screen printed onto my zip up hoodie were so much more interesting, but I perked up my ears for the answer. "There is no correlation between gifted program success and university success. In fact very few of these students will go on to university."

HA! I knew it! Smug Dad deflated into his plastic chair and I went back to my examination of the Johnny picture with the Zoot suit and the horn rimmed glasses. University. I had a hard time convincing this kid to go to GRADE THREE let alone the struggle I anticipate with VOLUNTARY POST SECONDARY SCHOOLING!

From what I've seen, great intelligence usually come with unbearable restlessness. It's very difficult for a school system to satisfy the curiosity and often the smart-assiness that comes with kids like this.

Please understand, I am not against University education and I know that there are plenty of great brains in such a place. I also believe that there are a lot of stupid people there, whose parents have enough money to ram the kid through school until he gets some kind of degree, and will go on to represent your legal case or stitch your guts back together.

Most truly intellectual kids, due to lack of a worthy education and their own boredom, sadly, end up in jail. Or in rock bands. Trying to avoid both destructive paths, we opted to put the Boy in a program that will stimulate him.

Apparently geeks are hot stuff these days. I punched the phrase "geek chic" into Images and got this:

"Seth Cohen" aka Adam Brody. How cute is this kid? I see his face on teenie mags any time I'm in a checkout line so he must be getting lots of acting gigs...







I punched "smart guy" in and got this:
Jon Stewart












...and let's not forget....

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Today I'

Heidi the Hick said...

yeah dude, I get distracted like that ALL THE TIME

Life, or Something Like It said...

you're killing me here. Great post as usual. I always knew that Kid was uber-smart. He scares me a little......

dilling said...

my friend's kid is five and gives me the lowdown on any geological thingeemajig or space travel-magig...at five, he is planning his own career of making a rocket(ma-jig) and travelling through space studying the geographic layout of rocks(-a-majig). I am pretty sure the launch date will be sometime around his seventh birthday....so far, though, he doesn't seem to be developing the sense of humour your Boy has...more the geek without chic...

Matt Mullenix said...

"I don't actually know if he's in the genius range but I would think not, simply because there aren't many true geniuses. Genii? Genia?"

Unless I am mistaken, the term you're looking for is genitalia.

Heidi the Hick said...

Biddie you know that he scares me too!

Dilling- haha! That was totally my boy. Only with a twisted sense of humour. Tell your friend to always have lots of books lying around!!!

Matt- snort giggle snicker! I thought of that! You said it!

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Genius or not, the boy's got talent and creativity. And I can tell just from your writings of him that he's had very distinguished past lives in engineering of some sort.

He's certainly someone to watch as his years go by!

Timmy said...

I totally love it that your kid is throwing the R&R forks! hells yeah!

Heidi the Hick said...

Red- all is know is...I can't believe he's learned all that in just ten years...

Tim- enlarge the pic and look closely at his fingernails. They're black on one hand and red on the other. His idea. What the heck man. R&R! HELLS YEAH!

dilling said...

John Stewart(dare I say this?) is pretty sexy in his smartness...in his smarty-pant-ness.

Marni said...

I work with a smug mom who thinks her kid is the ONLY person that has ever graduated from such a program. He is visiting all of these colleges that SHE picked for him to see. He just wants to go to UGA and play bass drum in the marching band - and then be a teacher.

I say let the kids be who they ARE... just love them and guide them.

You are doing a GREAT job! I need to learn your parental style and just let them be...

The Adult in Question said...

Remember when I was at your house and he had me confused with this magnetic contraption and the kleenex/rubber band guitar that lovingly woke me up? That scared the crap outta me...maybe he could come to college and do some stuff for me? Yeah I think that some days I have imaginary ADD. He is miles ahead of me...

The Adult in Question said...

One more thing...in grade nine my friends and I thought it would be super hott to date Albert Einstein...

Heidi the Hick said...

It's true then! Geeks, smart guys, they're hot stuff! Who would have guessed?!

Marni, I think you're right- to just let kids be. From what I've read you're doing a great job with yours.

KC- we've moved on from the Kleenex box guitar to a drum kit. Now that'll wake you up...

CindyDianne said...

AFBML can tell ya all about how geeks are hot these days! He lives it. The child is a freaking computer genius. The plan is for me to teach him my job. Then next summer he can just "be me" and I'll go get another job for the summer...or spend it at the lake! Maybe the later option is more fun! Yup, I'll take option B

Notsocranky Yankee said...

I hope he has fun in the new school. Sounds like he will be leading the geek-chic group. Love the fingernails...

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I like him already.