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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Dear America, We'll keep breeding them, You keep turning them into Stars. Thanks! Love, Canada!

In my extremely simplistic view of the world, this is the kind of stuff that world peace SHOULD be made of.

Heavy metal hopefuls from all over the world tried out for the supremacy of vocalist histrionics. When the dry ice cleared, a Toronto boy named Lukas Rossi will be fronting the Tommy Lee/ Gilbey Clarke/ Jason Newsted metal band called Super-another-band-already-has-the-name-so-you-have-to-change-it-the-judge-said-so-Nova.

I, sadly, because I truly love this kind of spectacle, didn't get to watch much of it. I don't get that channel. I'm really too lame to rock...but I watched it at Mom's a couple of times. It's the perfect thing to watch while lying on the floor stretching out my screamingly painful back after a ride, a grooming, and a tack cleaning.

Oh, the scowling. The shrieking. The power-vibrato. The stalking of the stage. The menacing glares. The unrelenting parade of ROCKINGNESS! The black eyeliner! The tattoos! The fresh tattoos hastily inked in time for the start of the show because you can't compete on a show with the title ROCK STAR without a tattoo, because then you have no cred!!!! I rolled on the floor in front of the TV, groaning in back pain and gasping in happiness at all the menacing tattooed attitood.

Our boy Lukas, a little guy with elephantine pipes, was a standout from the start, despite of and because of his s**t disturber personality and his bizarre eyebrows. This is rock. You can't be nice. You can be funny, you can be rude, but you must always believe that you are already a star and therefore never be lower than anybody. You can even be a little troll. Just ask Jason Newsted, who survived several years in Metallica with a troll hitting the drums behind him. Trolls rock. You heard it here.


You knew that those guys couldn't actually choose a woman to front their band, right? I mean you knew that. Well hey. I'm just going for world peace through rock. I'm still working on gender equality through rock. Give me time.

While it's not nearly as rocking, I'm buzzing with anticipation for the finale of Canadian Idol. Consistently this has been a show full of mind blowing talent that sadly goes nowhere after the deal is done. This could be the year that we pick a real winner!!!


Wow, just look at these kids. Nice, nice, nice. They would help granny across the street and tell her she looks nice today. The Rockingness factor is low, but let me tell you, both of these kids can sing. And the fella in the middle is much less orange this week.

I personally am disappointed that this kid went home last week.
He's a genuine Saskatchewan farm boy. He wears plaid. He has pretty eyes and messy curly hair. He has a deep voice. (He's a little too Nickelback for my liking but he redeemed himself with his "Just a Gigolo" thing, I kid you not.) He makes me feel like a dirty old housewife, but not in a totally bad way. In fact he kind of reminds me of a boy I was in love with a loooooong time ago...and that is a story best left for another day.

My American friends, I strongly urge you to find a CTV channel and watch the finale.

As far as Rock Star goes, this is the 2 for 2 that a Canadian has won. Yep, it's true. There is something funny going on up here. We've got lots of talent and not enough of a star system, so America, I say we keep up this good thing. We'll supply you with talent. All you have to do is love them!

Thank you,
Love, Canada.

8 comments:

Life, or Something Like It said...

I don't watch reality shows. I've got enough of my own.
I do love the fact that Canadians are winning the coveted spots. It's about time that Canadian's are recognized for their talent. Alex Trebec, Alan Thicke, Corey Haim are all Canadian folks! Where would the world be without them?

Heidi the Hick said...

Corey Haim too? Man, Biddie, you are a wealth of information!!!

CindyDianne said...

You both have a point. I don't watch Idol. I am not even one of those that watches the first few episodes each season for the outrageously horrible tryouts. I just can't do it.

I like Dancing with the Stars. Y'all have that? Does that count?

Heidi- I checked into Guelph and there is a Equine Nutrition course being offered online that starts in January. I might just do that. I resolved that I wouldn't go to school in 2006, but January is 2007! Pitiful isn't it? I had to resolve not to take any more classes?

Heidi the Hick said...

Wow, you had to swear off of school?!?

Nutrition is part of the Equine Sciences Certificate, I believe. I'll be doing that one eventually.

We missed the first episode of Dancing with the Stars. We will watch it because my daughter is a DANCER. oh yes! She sure is!

I have a sick fascination with singing contests. Living with Mr. Perfect Relative Pitch for 15 years has done something to me, I guess.

Life, or Something Like It said...

Hey, I know my B list celebs..sad, isn't it?

dilling said...

I can't watch any reality tv...it is so uber painful for me...excruciating...
and there is absolutely nothing B list about Corey Haim...he'll be back on top one day.

cara winsor hehir said...

and the past two years there has been a newfoundlander in the top two.
did you know sexy rexy from last year just had his (boring) album go platinum?
next year i'm trying out for rock star!!!

Heidi the Hick said...

Cara- yes, Newfoundland has been well represented and should be! Sexy Rexy's album is kinda boring but he's sure easy on the eyes and I love his speaking voice and accent! He could just talk at me all day. I'd be happy.

You better try out for Rock Star! We need another Newfie down there!!!