I haven't even read it yet. I got too hung up on the other stuff, including that defective beer bottle. It emptied too fast. I had another one a few hours later and it emptied too fast. Pretty tasty stuff. I digress.
First of all, Oprah says she's not gay. I don't care, Oprah. Be gay, be straight, as long as you are Living Your Best Life, (TM) and most of all as long as some day you discover my novel and plug it on your show as the Best Coming of Age Novel You've Ever Read, and despite all of the swear words, and sex scenes, and heavy drinking and drug use and Jesus, yes, Jesus, you declare publicly that Everybody Should Read This Book Because Oprah Says So, and I appear on your show and act like just in the last few hours you and I have developed a strong new friendship, like we've been buds for you know, years...causing thousands of people to buy my book and read it. That's really all I care about. 
Second, Christie Brinkley . What the hell was she thinking, marrying this guy? He is clearly evil. I mean look at him. All coiffed and blow dried and fake tanned. Obviously guys like this are trouble. Wasn't it always the preppies who showed up at the party, smiled smugly as they smoked everybody's weed, then drove off in Dad's Buick Regatta with not a speck of dirt? Never caught, never punished. Teflon. Teacher's pet. Black hearted and evil to the core. I could have said at first glance that this guy would cheat on his wife with his teenage "assistant." Yeesh. Ick. 
Then, Avril. Remember the old undershirt, tie and Converse combo? That's over, kids. She's all growed up now and has a Ford Models contract. She married her little rock star and they will have tiny tiny children with squeaky voices and great pitch. But there's something about the photo on the cover here that disturbed me. What is it? What? Who does she remind me of now????
I don't know what this means. Dakota Fanning plays the young Avril in Avril: The Movie? Does anybody else find this disturbing? Is it nothing?
Well I'm spent. I've successfully proven to myself once again that famous people make me look somewhat sane.
Oh! I almost forgot. Speaking of sane. He's not very much and I love him for it.
Look at this jacket. LOOK AT IT. I WOULD WEAR THAT. It's like slightly cowboy, in a Grand Ole Opry kind of way. It looks like something Bob Dylan would wear. Johnny is like a Bluegrass Cowboy Pirate.
21 comments:
I think he may have done a few shoots in outfits not far from that description. He likes that lived in look.
Gawd that Johnny still gets my blood boiling after all these years... did you ever watch 21 Jump Street?? LOL! Rowwwwwl!!
You know what? I never did watch that show. I remember thinking that he was pretty but I wasn't gonna get all worked up over him since he was just too pretty. Ironic, eh?
Why does a grown man even have a teen age assistant? Please! Like she didn't see this coming? And Oprah... Does ANYBODY care iof she's gay? I love your observations. Things that make you go Hmmm.....
OH YEAH JOHNNY IS ALWAYS HOT!!MMM..MMM..MMM
Christie either doesn't pick very good men, or she has a problem she is taking from one marriage to another...lol
Sandra Bullock? Maybe marrying a hot bike builder is the secret...lol
That is a fabulous jacket, I would love having that in my closet too, (wouldn't mind having what's in it, too!)
awww, Mr. Timothy West-Depp, doesnt that have a nice ring to it?
Tim, what happened to Mr Timothy West-Hartnett? You know Lance Bass is out now. Are ya shocked????
Amethyst - agreed on all three counts!
Dinky- always.
Biddie- how come we're so smart and they're not? Hmmm....
I may be saying this in the wrong forum, but Johnny D looks like @#$% next to his entourage. Isn't that a bit fonky in a non-grounded sort of way??
Like I said, prolly wrong forum. Fire your tomatoes at will!
Nah, you can say what you want here, agreed or not!
I think that's his way of saying a big old F U to the rest of the world. He's gotta go on Letterman and do the interviews and stuff but dang it, if he wants to go four days without washing his hair, he's going unwashed.
Sigh. It makes me love him even more.
The rebellion, not specifically the unwashed hair. But I do love him, dirty or not!
You should just subscribe to People. It's cheaper. I think Gayle King is a Golddigger because I don't think her friendship with Oprah would have stood the sands of time if Oprah didn't buy her some stuff every now and then. Serious. Anyways,I'm beginning to become a fan of Johnny...you're slowly converting me. (Except that he's "Johnny Depp and he has scissors for hands.") Damn you. LoL.
Cranky and I were just talking the other night about Mr. Depp. I never saw 21 Jumpstreet, but after that, he did an awesome job managing to take only parts that didn't type-cast him as a pretty-boy. In fact, the parts were thought to be career-killers, but he came up roses!
I respect him for that.
Kc- "I'm Johnny Depp. I have scissors for hands!"
Yankee, that's exactly why I dig him.
I Officially Love Your Novel.
I am Officially Lame for not writing enough comments or blogging enough.
I am going Crazy trying to book flights to Tashkent. See you on the other side... p x
The ex-husband of my ex-wife's ex-best friend used to me one of my closest friends.(I'll draw you a diagram if you need me to)
He appeared on Oprah a few years ago. You may remember him as the loser in love that Will Smith and the fat guy from 'King of Queens' did a makeover on.
He works in television, so he's pretty aware of the way things work. He knew he would have just a few seconds with Oprah when the cameras weren't on him, but she was warm, friendly, and he got the feeling that she genuinely likes meeting people and talking with them. It wasn't sort of false front. Or, if it was, it's so damned successful as to be real.
Have you ever seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? You and Jethro should watch it some time. You'll love it. I won't go into detail, but at one point Robert Downey Jr's character is lamenting the fact that every single woman in LA was two things: incredibly beautiful, and hopelessly psychotic:
I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast, and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.
Watch it with your finger on the rewind button. There's so much witty dialogue that happens so fast, that you have to back it up a bunch of times to get it all.
Yeharr
Pluvi- You're not lame, you're busy! Have a safe trip and thank you for the Novel love!
Pirate- I had to close my eyes but I think I got it...I confess, I don't actually watch Oprah much because back when I had TV channels, it was on when the kids came home from school. She probably does like people or she wouldn't be in her line of work. And she is damn good at what she does.
There were good reviews on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. And if you like it, I have to see it! Great quote!!! We watched The Libertine this weekend. Jethro has a new hero now...
I find it disturbing that you have two pictures of Avril posted, and claim that her child would have anything above averege pitch, because she could not sing her way out of a wet paper sack.
I feel stupid, and contagious...
Where's Heidi?
You never know...Sandra may just have all the answers. I would trust her outlook more than, hhhmmmm, say Jessica Simpson? Johnny always looks good, even when he looks bad. What is the novel pluvialis asked about? Hmmm, so much more... I just got back in from our trip and there is so much catching up to do. Wink. I will be reading all day tomorrow!
Hi everybody, I'm back after a very tough few days away. So, to answer:
JJ- We watched the Libertine too this weekend and I think that's one of his best roles ever. I'll review it for ya when I'm up for it. Ha ha. Up for it.
Butchie- I didn't say she had excellent pitch, I said great, which means she could likely sing her way out of your wet paper sack, but couldn't at all sing her way out of a dry paper sack.
Elmo- a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido.
Smarty- oh honey, I was out at the farm but not having much fun. Sadly.
Dilling- welcome back. I think I'd trust Sandra Bullock's opinion more. Cuz she's not stoopid. The novel is this project of mine that I've posted two excerpts from.
Get comfy everybody and grab your kleenex box because tomorrow's is gonna be a long one.
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