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Thursday, February 23, 2006

What a Big Stud.

This morning bright & early I took my puppy over to the vet's. Today is a big day for him. Today he becomes a useful member of dog society. Today he becomes a man.
He's getting neutered.

Jethro was really surprisingly thrilled about this. For the last two months he'd ask with a wicked gleeful look in his eye, "When are we taking this little bastard in to get his nuts taken off?" This might seem incongruous from a guy with testes of his own, which he guards respectfully, but I get it. I know where he's coming from. My Big Man has to be the only stud on the property.

I'm okay with that. There's more than enough testosterone around here already.

I've heard of guys who refuse to neuter their dogs because it's "Cruel." You know what I think is cruel? Making the dog go through life with all the equipment and all the urges that go with it, and then not allowing him to do his thing. There are already plenty of dogs in this world, and a lot that shouldn't be.

It applies to horses too. I know a few guys who have stud horses. They claim it's because he's a great horse and they can make some extra money off of stud fees. I don't know if that extra $400 from the one breeding a year is worth it. In the meantime though, they can feel very studly riding around on their studs, warning every other rider to stay back because this is a stud, and rubbing Vick's Vaporub in his nostrils so he doesn't smell the mares, because he's a stud and riding around with a puffed up chest on his stud. Whatevs. They can have it. Stud horses are a total pain. Nothing but hassle. They have to sniff everything. They walk around pooping on every pile they come across. They bite and chew anything that doesn't move. They need three times as much exercise as another horse. They need extra strength fences. They can't be pastured with other studs because they'll kill each other. A stud pastured with a gelding will kill the gelding. A stud horse can smell a mare fifty acres away and can't think anymore.




Mind you there's a reason they're called studs. Stallions are truly magnificent. All those male hormones result in a strong horse. His chest is wide, his neck is arched, he has thick jowels and an awesome butt. A well trained stallion who is controlled, listening to his human, and working happily, is a beautiful sight.
This brings us to my horse, the King. I got him as a 4 yr old gelding, but I've always suspected that he was gelded late. He looks and acts like a stud. When I boarded him years ago, he actually got busy and did the deed with a nice little mare who knew what she was doing. Her owner was rather upset. He believed that my King hadn't been properly gelded and had a live one of two tucked up in there, and that he'd impregnate the pure blooded Quarter Horse mare with the bastard Half Arabian devil spawn. Ha ha! Over the years we've learned to deal with his behaviours. We don't pasture him with a mixed herd, because he'll spend all day moving the mares around and fighting with the geldings. If he's pastured with all mares, he's got his little harem and everybody's happy.

So speaking of studs, I sometimes think it's a bit of a shame that my Brilliant Handsome Hardy Husband got the Big V. As horse breeders would say, He throws some nice foals. We decided at first that it would be two kids. He graciously got done after the second one, which I was grateful for, because I'd gone through enough. But y'know, they're such great kids. They're healthy and strong and intelligent, and very good looking. There should be more like them in this world.

Of course, from Jethro's perspective, it's great. All the fun, none of the pregnancy-avoidance stress. Whoo-hoo! A couple of days with an ice bag and everything has become peachy. He did turn sympathetic to the puppy this morning, although he couldn't really relate. All he got done was a minor re-routing. The dog is going to be altered. I looked the puppy in the eye and said, 'Don't worry. This'll be over fast and you'll never know what you're missing out on." Besides, he's in good company: Cat probably never had a chance either.

And Jethro is still the Big Stud around here.

7 comments:

Timmy said...

he is too cute! my puppy has an appointment for nut chopping on Wednesday- yay!

Heidi the Hick said...

Welcome, Obi Wan Kenobi, to the Society of Useful Dogs! And the cute puppy club!

Heidi the Hick said...

by the way, dear readers, he always looks like that. He's not sad looking because he's getting his nuggets altered. He's just a sad faced little dog. He's actually very happy in real life!

Smartypants said...

Neutering is such an easier surgery than a spay.

Good luck, little man. = )

Heidi the Hick said...

That's one of the main reasons we got a male puppy.

He's doing great tonight. You'd never know he got anything done except for the iodine. They sure do a nice job these days. He doesn't even have to wear the funnel head.

Forty_Two said...

I pity the poor canine who looks so much like Peter Lorre.

Heidi the Hick said...

No way, my dog is waaay more wrinkly that that guy. And cuter, in an ugly kind of way.