Thursday, October 20, 2005

How to be a Good lookin' Hick

Being a practical farm girl (or at least I have been a farm girl) I know the truth about clothes. Function. Now if your function is to improve the appearance of your surroundings, that's great, but you won't be mowing the lawn wearing an evening gown. You'd get grass stains all over those pretty shoes.

My old man is a pretty well dressed guy. He works outside year round. He taught me as I was growing up that you just have to dress for the weather. Two words: Dress Accordingly.

So, what does a well dressed hick wear in this glorious fall weather? First of all, wear a touque. You might still wear your ball cap underneath but you've got to start keeping your head warm. Those of you who are unfamiliar with a touque are either not Canadian, live in a tropical climate, or both, so don't worry about keeping your head warm.

Choice of coat or jacket is very important. Denim and canvas are the obvious choices. Don't forget the plaid hunting coat, or the ubiquitous Bushwacker jacket, aka the Keswick Dinner Jacket, aka the Greebo Tuxedo.

I'm such a wimp for cold that I'm already wearing my lined coveralls out to the barn.

In the winter you'll need a full on Parka. A warning about fake fur around the collar or hood: when the fluffy wet snow comes down it'll stick to you.

My dad has a lovely bright orange touque which he wears to top off his snow blowing ensemble. Very visually helpful.

In the spring, you can't go wrong with the all purpose Uniform, that is, the dark green coveralls. I can't even begin to tell you how practical this is. If your clothes underneath are inexcusably ratty, the coveralls solve it. If you get dirty, which I hope you will, you can just take the coveralls off when you go into the house for lunch.

How about the classic overalls? Always useful. Worn with the straps over your jacket or a nice warm hoodie, you have all the arm mobility you need to swing a shovel, and still have access to your chest pockets so you can get a pen or a thermometer, or whatever you need.

Boots are so important. Another classic, the black rubber boots, can't be beat in wet sloppy footing. And I may not just be talkin' about mud here. Work boots are good too, especially warm lined ones. But you know what? I get sore feet. I save my old Reeboks for when I have some horse training to do on the ground. Obviously I need boots with a heel for riding but I gotta have my arch supports.

Okay that's enough desk chair riding for today. I gotta get out. Stay tuned for upcoming lectures on good hick colours, hats, accessories, and eventually, a discussion about my favourite famous hicks. Oh I'm just so full of it.

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