Friday, May 24, 2013

Johnny Depp. Fringed chaps. BRAIN MELT.

PEOPLE, THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.  A movie which falls under the "Western" category featuring Johnny Depp.  And yes it looks ridiculous and probably stupid, but those are two of my favourite things.  One of my other favourite things is Johnny Depp.  And also I love chaps.  Also, did I mention, there are HORSES involved??????


See?  Fringe.

Honestly this whole thing could be problematic for me, because I see this new getup and my third thought is, "Well now I'll have to go find a taxidermized crow for my next Halloween costume."

I have a feeling Johnny got very excited about this project. Yay, a new chance to wear crazy make up and a ratty wig and talk funny!!!!  Dude, it even looks like he has new fake tattoos on his arms, which is just as much fun as real tats but with less commitment! (This from a woman with no tattoos.)

Johnny talks to a horse in this movie.  

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  I talk to a horse every day.  Several times a day.  Three different horses.  I think I might talk to horses as much as I talk to humans.  (I wonder if the horses ever wish I'd stop talking?)

He rides too.  (Although to be fair I can't tell if that's him on the horse in this picture.)

If I happened to be there, the following words would happen:

"Okay Johnny, you're sitting up straight instead of leaning over and that's great. Next time I'd like to see you really relax your core, sink your seat into the saddle and push your heels down." 

Then, in a complete contrast to how I usually act while coaching a rider, I would pass out.  

This isn't the first time he's had to get on a horse when he shows up at work.  He played a gypsy awhile back (did I even mention how much I wanted to be a gypsy ?) 

...and he played a totally useless city boy who couldn't figure out the shaggy pony he was given as transportation.

So, let's recap this thing, shall we?

*cowboy movie
*potentially stupid
*cowboy hats

So yep. I'm done.  Happy Johnny Friday!


jules said...

WOOHOO!!! Johnny Friday! I LOVE these. When was he a gypsy? I guess I missed that.

I REALLY want to see this movie. Just for the Johnny laughs. I hope he's as funny/goofy as Capt' Jack.

Anonymous said...

I talk to the horses out loud every day, loud enough that the neighbors can hear (that's okay, I hear a lot of crazy noises coming from their side of the trees). They talk back too. The horses, that is, not the neighbors.

Now that I've established my credentials...I thought Johnny was going to be a cowboy, maybe next time. This is good too.

Laura said...

yeah! more Johnny! I really hope the movie is sort of good - but I'm probably being optimistic...

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh I don't even care if its good! Johnny and horses. Good enough. Also it's a Bruckheimer production so probably something will blow up.

Redhorse - cowboy? That'll be brain damage for me!

Jules - it was a movie called The Man Who Cried. Back in his obscure-film-phase. Y'know I have a feeling this movie will be comedic. Maybe even intentionally!!