Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Ivan Earlis the Goat, Robert Plant, and Justin Bieber: a farm based comparison of sorts.

Ivan the Angora billy goat does not look like a rock star anymore. Remember how he likes to do rock star imitations?  He was doing his best 1973-era Robert Plant, with those luxurious ringlets.

And you just know when Beatrice and Mildred look at him, that's what they see! 

They can hardly even look at him, he's so stunning!

Just look at that big handsome fella!  
(Which one - Ivan or Jethro?)

Then the shearer came to the farm.

He zipped him out of his goat suit just like they do in the cartoons.

"What is happening to meeeeee?"

Now he doesn't look like Robert Plant anymore.  

Turns out, he's wee tiny under all that curly angora wool, and without his mutton chops or his beard.  I had kind of forgotten that he's only a year old.  

I've been telling him this just gives him another chance to become fabulous again.  And then again next fall when he gets the next crop of dignity shorn off.

"Hey, who's the young fart?"

His owner is very proud of him.  He was a good goat, especially since it was his first shearing.  He didn't nip the shearer's bum and he didn't fight.  If she was ever unsure as to whether or not she really wanted to be a billy goat owner, the little fella just ensured that he'll be a pet forever!

Even if he just went from Robert Plant to Justin Bieber.*

*Not that I have anything against the Biebs.  Other than, I don't understand his boring music or his bizarre pants.  He's a brilliant and ridiculously talented young fella and I sincerely hope he gets all his youthful silliness over with, returns to wearing actual clothes in public, and stops making bad decisions. I suspect the kid is better than all that.

Justin Bieber, wearing stupid pants

A plaid shirt.  I approve.

Oh wait... sigh.

Most boys at 19 are just coming out of their awkward phase, when all their limbs are the wrong length and their faces look different every day and their voices betray them.  This kid magically skipped all that.  His awkward phase involves being surrounded by sycophants, screaming girls and buckets of money. Oh and also, an entire empire of people whose paycheques depend on him.  Considering that, maybe he's handling life pretty reasonably.  I like to think he will get past this awkward phase and get on with making music and quit pretending he's all gansta-n-s**t cuz dude, I know the town he came from, (I'm there at least twice a week) and it is not a gansta-n-s**t kind of place.  This is a town of 30,000 with a unique combination of agriculture, Shakespeare Festival tourist traffic, a few factories, and a history of being a railway hub.  The shopping end of town is anchored by the Canadian Tire store and the TSC.   So all the big-city posturing and stupid clothes make him look kinda silly, far as I'm concerned.  

We shouldn't laugh at them - they're just young guys!  They'll grow up!

Ivan will grow back his curly coat... Justin will grow a beard someday... and Robert can continue emitting his aura of awesome.

Well now son, ya clean up good.  


Out of the three of them though, only Ivan has horns.  Rock on!!


Cindy D. said...

Ha ha! Those pants! They are like the unperfect combination of MC Hammer pants and skinny jeans. Saggin and not saggin all rolled into one.

Hopefully my youngest never sees those. He's a weirdo, he will want them.

When I was in High School I had the Robert Plant poster plastered on my ceiling above my bed, so I could lay on my bed and listen to him while gazing at his shirtless awesomeness.

I liked the goat better as Bucket Head!

jules said...

Those pants slay me! It looks like someone forgot to change his soppy, dirty diaper. Hopefully it's just a phase.

I LURV Robert Plant. The epitome of graceful aging. He so handsome!

Heidi the Hick said...


Paul Tee said...


It's tax time.

I feel cold.

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jay said...

I dunno, once you stoop as low as hoping a girl murdered by the Nazis would blindly adore you, I feel like there's just no return from that...