Last weekend there was a little hoedown shindig at the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame.
Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Beastie Boys were added to the list of music legends. You know, I have to say, this is proof that I am old now. These people made the music I was rocking out with when I was a teenager. That was TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO. We don't rock like we used to.
WE ROCK BETTER.
As proof that the snarly rock and roll attitude does not dull with age, I present to you, in all his glory, AXL ROSE.
(Dude, thank you for losing the cornrows. I'm glad they are now hiding out with Kroeger's Nickelbob.)
I have no idea what Axl's been up to these days. Doing stuff. Touring. Being crabby. You know. The usual. And yes, I do own a copy of Chinese Democracy, so there's an indication of the loyalty I have to this difficult ornery rock star. (I know, I know, it's a flaw of mine.)
Most importantly, Axl refused to show up for the Hall of Fame party. He had to refuse, really. I mean, on what planet does W AXL ROSE stand there nodding and smiling while all the sycophants load on the fawning praises? Not in this universe. That's just way too nice. Axl is not nice. (Having said that, his official letter of refusal was not near as nasty as you'd expect.)
I am so conflicted... part of me says he should have been there, however, if he was there everybody would be whispering reunion! and that ain't gonna happen. So he ends up looking like both the rebel, too cool to bother with that crap, as well as the giant spoilsport.
But here's the thing....
Somebody else was willing to get the job done. Myles Kennedy, who is one wailing monster of a singer, joined the band onstage to play a few of those giant hits that everybody wanted to hear.
And from what I've heard, he was... awesome.
I mean, somebody hadda do it, right? Why not bring in a guy who's gonna stick a fork in the whole thing cuz it is DONE!
Oh, this is slightly awkward....
Here's Myles standing right under Axl's right eye.
I thought Axl was hot back then. I really did.
Rock Stars are a fascinating species, aren't they? Imagine all the elements that need to converge in order to create one of these creatures: attitude, talent, skill, work ethic (often while appearing to not give a crap) and the willingness to hear one's own voice, or instrument, coming back through the speakers. Oh, also, a comfort level with being photographed.
Which is why there are certain Rock Star Poses which are obligatory.
It's all there.
I think I had that same T shirt in 1987.
Really I thought he was sumthin' and now I look at the early days when he was skinny and malnourished and ewwwww what the heck I was thinking.
Oh I know what I was thinking: what pretty red hair and he doesn't look like any of the boys I go to church with! How strange and interesting!
Of course there was the Buff Axl phase but I still can hardly deal with the tight shorts & armadillo combo. I can't look. Then I do. And then I can't.
More necessary Rock Star Action Moves:
Here, Myles demonstrates the Brooding Dangerous Album Art look.
He could slay you with his voice.
The Live On Stage Lean-Back
(See "Plant, Robert.")
And the rarely-captured "I love my job" look.
Of course he's pretty much nailed the long hair/ whiskers Euro-Jesus thing. That always helps.
So, Axl Rose vs Myles Kennedy.
Myles showed up. One point.
Axl refused to show up.
Myles gets several points for being in two bands simultaneously.
He has to get a point for his tiny but pivotal role in that so-bad-it's-awesome movie, ROCK STAR, featuring Mark Wahlberg and his abs.
Oh wait, here's something!
He's also a monster of a guitar player.
But Axl is.... Axl ....
I GIVE UP.