Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Hmmm... Interesting....

My blog buddy, Heidi Willis, asked me to do this, and I'll do it for her because she is one of my favourite people I've never met.  We're part of an online writing group, in which we plan lovely getaways to Heidi's Maine beach house, where we'll read in our jammies all weekend (in pretend world).  I didn't think I had anything interesting left of me -- I spill a lot on this blog.  I might repeat myself, so consider pretending you don't know anything about me first.

1)  I have a crooked spine.  I've come to terms with it. Symmetry is over-rated.  Imperfection is interesting.

2) I was at a bush party in 1987 with my boyfriend.  I watched him take a drunken beating from a particularly tough dude, while standing beside my ex-boyfriend.  Also in attendance that night, although I didn't know it yet?  My next boyfriend.  I ended marrying him and we don't do bush parties anymore.  Good times.

3) I have written 5 novels.  One of them is pretty good.  One of them is really good and getting better, but I'm aiming for excellent.  None of them are actual real books.  However, I can call myself A Writer because I have been rejected by some of the best literary agents in North America, darn it!

4) I got a pony for my 7th birthday.  I named her Chocolate.  Because she was dark brown.   I was seven; clever literary reference names weren't in my repertoire yet.  Besides, "Hemingway" is a ridiculous name for a small filly.

5) I don't care or mind if you resent me for #4.  Hey man, I didn't have much of anything else, but I had ponies and that was more important than anything else.  Even Barbies.

6) I am a bit of a tomboy but I loved my Barbies.  (Both of them.)

7) I had a huge crush on Shaun Cassidy when I was eight.  I had the T shirt.  I had the pin-ups on the wall.  Until John Stamos came along a few years later, Shaun was the sun in my sky. What can I say, I fall hard and I fall easily.

8) I had a Donny Osmond doll too.  He had purple socks!!!!!

9) Sometimes I really lay it on thick with the red carpet stuff.  Like, "Well when I was on the red carpet the first time..." and "We walked right past (insert Famous and /or Well Known Canadian Artist) and he/she is actually very short..."  and also "....about four feet away from Shania Twain..." and I am just a tiny bit ashamed that I throw it around like that.

But come on!  I grew up on a pig farm!  My husband grew up behind the feed mill!  RED FRIGGEN CARPET?  You are damn right I'm gonna brag that up.

10)  If I had money to burn I'd start up a Useless Critter Farm.  I'd have a llama and a few miniature horses, heck, I'd have the three horses I have now.  A large collection of donkeys.  A sheep.  About 50 goats, because they rock!  Numerous cats.  Peacocks.  Heck if I could I'd have an elephant.

hahaha, I just changed four of those because I thought of something more interesting than what I first wrote.


annyong said...

Me: You say the phrase "damn right" a lot....

Paul Tee said...

OMG. Way to bare your soul, lady. Always surprises me with what you come out with.
You do this emotional strip tease so well. Wets one's appetite for more. But you are right, you spill more stuff than the Exxon Valdez. Its refreshing that while the rest of the world is hiding, you celebrate your visibility.

Me? I would be embarrassed to tell you who my early heroes were. Among them, an ethnic version of ninja turtles (You know the heroes in the half shell). Nuf said.

A commendable list. I miss a few items though. Where is the good old GM truck, chugging faithfully along, dripping oil, smoking like a fiend, throw another layer of paint over the rust.

Getting more updated, where is any mention of your iGadget? The instrument to record your life?

And the pug? huh?

I realize you were probably not going for the comprehensive. See, I told you, I wanted more.

Heidi the Hick said...

Haha, Paul you've known me for years- I'm surprised anything's left to surprise you! I am sure all this honesty is going to bite me in the ass one of these days. On the other hand - big lack of dark secrets to dig up about me!

Since you asked: the truck is still carrying me around, dirty and slightly ragged. She gave up smoking when she got her new engine a couple years back and has not started again, but there is still a mysterious intermittent oil leak. Also a frustrating mysterious transmission leak - where is it??? The tailgate is hanging on, the left signal doesn't cancel, and with three trips into town each week I go through waaaay too muh gas. But believe it or not it's still cheaper than payments on a new truck. The math has been done. It's true.

The iGadget has become a permanent companion. This doesn't mean I'm much better at returning calls or emails. Lazy is lazy, technology or not. This particular iGadget is one of the few new things Ive ever had. Not hand me down. Mine. New.

The Pug is awesome. Snoring snuffling and following me around everywhere.

Now: I'm curious. Hungarian ninja turtles????

And this is for my daughter - damn right.

Heidi the Hick said...

One more truck thing- no painting over rust here. Never! Not with my daddy painting cars for decades. That's why my truck looks like crap; if it doesn't get done right it won't get done at all. It will get a decent body job - after I pay for hay and farm insurance and the spring vet visit and driver training for two teenagers and new running shoes for big teenage feet and you see where this is going right?

Now THAT is a very telling and interesting statement on my life eh?

Paul Tee said...

For folktales there were the wise old Owl, the sly Fox, the brave Bear, the faithful and true Dog, the Rabbit, well never mind the Rabbit or the Cat.... You can see where this is heading. Growing up, I found animals more interesting than people. I still do sometimes.

You are right, secrets are traps, they lock the pressure cooker inside you. I always admired that about you, your refusal to hide. Your blog has to be therapeutic for you. It also allow us, readers, to send good positive energy your way.

mugwump said...

umm, umm, I want to play too! Never mind, back down the rabbit hole.

Sparkling said...

We had a cat when I was about 7 that I named Misfit. 7 year olds come up with the best names, don't they?

What on earth is a bush party?????