If I actually knew him, I think I'd likely get in his face and say, "What the hell did you THINK would happen? You don't get to cheat on your wife and get away with it! Moron!"
But I don't know them. It makes no sense that their break-up bums me out. Other than, it's awesome that a lady in her 40s married a handsome young fella and it really seemed to work. From what we could see. But, they're actors. You never really know what's real?
It's not fair for me to judge, but... COME ON. Is it really that hard to stay married? Is it harder for the Famous People? Is it different if they have to pretend they're in love with other people for a living? Is it more difficult because all kinds of people get all infatuated with them and want to throw themselves at them? Is it easier to wreck everything?
Celebrity divorces are often a bit of a joke. For us, if not for them.
Okay, celebrity weddings are often a joke too.
(Although I do think it's hilarious/awesome that she barely comes up to his shoulder. Makes me and Jethro look a little less size-incompatable in comparison.)
But I digress.
As I often do.
Dashmi looked happy together. And for what it's worth, they looked awesome together.
In most of pictures he's looking adoringly at her. (Or at her body.) And who wouldn't? She's gorgeous.
But gorgeous isn't enough to hold a marriage together. It helps. Attraction is the magnet. But commitment is the glue.
They looked pretty happy in pictures.
Now it's more like this.
Oh, buddy. You screwed up. Baaaaad.
I mean, really badly. He used to be on Bruce's good side. Used to be.
Clearly he did not think this through.
You wouldn't want to be on Bruce's bad side.
There are usually public statements made after a Famous People Breakup. You know, dumb things like, "I really hoped this would last forever but sometimes things don't work out." That is the dumbest thing ever. Really, you hoped your marriage would last forever? Hoped??? You shouldn't make a big decision like that out of hope. And gee, golly heck, oh shuckums, sometimes things don't work out.
Or this one: ""I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail"
It is true. Marriages fail. It happens, and for reasons that are not anybody else's business. Yes, marriage is difficult. I've been married for 20 years. We've had our hard times. People see us getting along really well and it's obvious that we like each other, but don't think for a second we haven't had our huge fights. To be fair it's usually me fighting at him.
But here's the thing: I LIKE HIM. He's my favourite person. I love him unconditionally. Just because he is who he is. That love doesn't go away because we have a fight. I can be angry at him and still love him. You know what? If he's angry at me, he still loves me. The bad times happen, but they don't last. We are a team. We get through troubles together.
Maybe I'm not the one to weigh in on this, because marriage, for me, has been the one steady constant thing in my life. No matter what, I know I've got a man who loves me and it's been like that since I was a teenager. Has it been EASY? pffft. Hell no. If anybody tells you marriage is easy, they haven't been married. But most good things in life are not easy, right? Marriage is worth it. Worth the squabbles, the conflicts involved with living with the same person for the rest of your life. It's worth having your heart broken regularly by that same person. I love the man. It's that simple. I love him more than I did twenty four years ago. Amazingly. We stuck together and that's our reward: it gets even better!
Marriage isn't a shackup. It's a death pact.
You think I'm kidding? I'm not. Till death do us part? Yeah. The only way this marriage ends is if one of us dies.
Oh, and also, we get it that one of the basic concepts of being married is that we don't have sex with anybody else.
So that's me going off on my judgmental rant, standing on my little soap box among the smoking burnt ruins of somebody else's heartbreak.
5 comments:
you COMPLETELY nailed it.. It's not hard to not cheat, you just don't do it!
Jamie
Exactly. I find myself saying the exact same thing a lot - that I actually LIKE (as well as love) my husband and that he's my favorite person. It's sad to me how few people get that. They think I must be relieved when we are apart and find it hard when he comes back but it's quite the opposite.
I'm not at all religious and our marriage was a civil ceremony on a beach in Mexico with only 8 of our friends and family. And it doesn't matter that we were together almost 9 years before that day, I love being married. It does get better (and yeah, we have some pretty decent fights sometimes too).
One of the qualities I most admire about you, is that what's on your heart soon finds its way onto your tongue, and to your pen.
I don't much worry about Demi and Kutcher. Hollywood is unquestionably today's Babylon, different rules apply there.
But your declaration of love for Jethro, to Jethro and to the whole world, that touches me. We need that kind of uncompromising commitment to keep families together, and have our own selves grounded in marriage.
I say that after 43 years of being married to a wonderful wife and have three absolutely outstanding sons.
Kudos to you for declaring all that: godly words never come back void.
I am on the same page too hon. And it would be nice maybe, for once hear someone make a statement like, "I had a really good thing going, but I screw-up; broke our pact, & lost her trust. This was all my fault."
I know-- i'm kind of pissed i give a rip about this too, because-- how dumb, yet i find myself feeling disappointed over it.
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