Friday, December 04, 2009

In a perfect world, I am a riding instructor, author, and interior desecrator. Damn I'm good.

In the real world, my girl Tribble and I are in the process of painting over that warm smoky "Stone Harbour" grey with a colour elegantly named "Natural Linen" but we're not that easily fooled, people. It's Beige.  And we are not happy.  Also we ache all over because I sometimes have physical arguments with horses and she's a dancer, and painting a wall or a ceiling moulding is very ache-inducing.

Must we suffer for beauty???

In Imaginary World, I'm so good at this decorating thing that BEIGE does not even exist.  I can work all day with no aches.  And I know how to make a room look awesome.

Our lovely model, Mr Johnny Depp, is not standing in a beige room.  That room is more of a creamy white with pink undertones.  There's a big difference.  It's not beige.  Johnny does not live in a world of beige and neither do I.  Neither should you.

I know who makes a   how to make a room look good.  I make rooms look, how would you say this best... inviting.

See?  You could find a good book to read here and just sink right in.  Why find a library when even my stairwells are interesting and irresistible?

I make rooms you can feel wonderful in!  Wouldn't you love to get comfy here?  Of course I always cover the furniture when I paint, but sometimes I stumble upon happy accidents; I've discovered a new style here.  I just drape the furniture with white sheets.  I call it draping.  I know!  So deceptively simple!  That's my genius as an interior desecrator.

I took the curtains down to give them a trip through the washing machine.  I'm not going to iron them because I want them to be slightly wrinkled.  I want them to have that unmade bed look.  What - you don't think curtains can look like they just rolled outta bed?

Well that's why I'm a genius interior desecrator.  My imagination gets things happening.

Ahhhhh.... I must get off my butt and pick up a paintbrush again. Reality calls.  I really hope painting the cove moulding white perks up that, uh, "natural linen."  And I hope somebody in the near future falls in love with this house.  It's a house that deserves to be loved.


Biddie said...

You ARE an author. Don't forget that.
Beige is ok for some people, just not interesting, creative people like us :) Somebody will all in love with the house, I just know it. Soon, I hope :)

Four Dinners said...

In a perfect world I'm rich so everyone does things for me...;-)

Keep writing, keep riding, keep desecrating...er...that doesn't sound right....;-)

Heidi Willis said...

This made me laugh because when we moved into the house I'm in now, everything was BEIGE!! It drove me crazy!! I spent five years un-beiging it all. I hate beige.

I think the point is, though, that a potential buyer can "see" their own design through beige because it's neutral, whereas a room that may be, say, neon pink, may be harder for them to visualize themselves in.

As for beautiful Johnny - I saw Friday he made Entertainment Weekly's Entertainer of the Year. Great front cover. Made me think of you. :)

Paul Tee said...

HW is right. I can look at Johnny Deep and see you... No, let me rephrase that. I can't look at Johnny Deep and not see you.

Let me also say that even in an imperfect world, you can carry "the perfect" inside of you.

In defense of beige: it's a perfect way of camouflaging something you love(d), a part of letting go. When you finish, you will see someone else living there, hopefully as happy as you have been. As an artist, I want to have a new canvass to start with. So do not curse the beige--bless it.