Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The New Kid

Tribble is the kind of kid you'd think would have everybody scrambling to be her friend.  She's pretty, funny, smart, sweet, goofy, and artistic.  She has a cool fashion sense and just enough weirdness to be irresistibly interesting.  

She amazes me, and not just because she's my kid and I love her.  She's just amazing.

She has all these friends who are all unique in their own ways, from the Egyptian girl with the big black boots and YouTube following for her animated short films, to the Italian girl who loves horses, to the Sicilian/Irish girl who loves vampires, just to name a few.  This group of kids has always impressed the heck out of me.  They're wonderful.  They don't tease anybody, they aren't into getting blasted, and they let everyone be themselves.

We love them.

Here's the problem: they are in the town we almost don't live in anymore.  Tribble doesn't go to school with them anymore.  

She would likely love her new school except for that one, huge, glaring problem.

She's in contact with them over our super-slow rural internet, and will be in touch for real when we return to our house for the next month or so (getting ready to sell) but in the meantime, she's ready to hate school.

The kids are all "mall kids."  They all wear that Hollister stuff.  They all have straightened hair and obnoxious giggles.  They all stick together.  They text constantly.  They are boring.

Gah.  No wonder I have recurring nightmares.

This kid only changed schools once: last year, when she went to Grade 9.  Could we have picked a worse age to move her???

I am so sure that there have to be some slightly and delightfully weird kids at that school.   This town is smaller than the one she came from, but in my teens, this school was known as the "city school" and the other one in town, which my cousins attended, was the "farmer school."  I've told my kids they have the best of both worlds, living in town, but  spending a lot of time in the country.  They can relate to most other kids.  

I told Tribble that it's only the first day, so the other kids haven't had a chance to get to know her yet.  She says they might not bother because they already have friends. I tell her I can't believe that nobody will bother to get to know her.  She's so awesome.  They just haven't had a chance to find out yet.  When they do, she'll find friends.

I've told her this town is known for being all arty, and full of touristy stuff, so some of these kids have to come from tourist-trappy, arty, entertainingish kind of families.  They've got to be interesting, not?

She's not so convinced.  

By the way, Bucky is his usual cool self.  Hey.  Wtsup.  Cool.  All long curly hair and big feet and grass stained jeans.  It's not easy for him to leave his brainiac nerdy friends but eccentricity clings to him and he likes it that way.  They'll find him.  

I hope she's got kindreds out there.  

Anybody out there end up changing schools at the delicate age of 15?  Any advice for this heartbroken mother?  She cries, I ache.  It's like the cord's still attached, man.  I feel her every move.

After supper I asked her to come out to see the horses with me.  We had a lovely bareback ride in the dirt corral as the sun went down in the pink sky.  Tribble loves her little mare so much.  She neck reined her around with only a hackamore on the Little Lady's head, marveling the whole time at how cute and awesome her little sweet horse is.  

If only that horse could go to school with her, I might have a heart-mending solution...


Kimber said...

Hey, that is just plain sucky. But like you said, it's only the first day. And since the way you describe your daughter makes me think she must be pretty close to a spittin' image of her very cool mother (when I knew her back in the day), it won't be long befote people discover how lovely a person she is and come running.

Heidi the Hick said...

Really, was I cool? I thought I was just goofy! Thank you, I keep telling her she'll be okay and people will like her.

She seems much more positive again this morning. She doesn't stay down for long, thankfully.

Although I did tell Bucky to at least admitting that he knows her when they see each other at school!!

Heidi Willis said...

Heidi - this just breaks my heart!

i remember when we moved and my sister had to change schools in 8th grade. She cried. She screamed. She told my parents she hated them - something NOT done in our family, and which she has never lived down.

But a year later she apologized to my mom, and told them, GASP, they were right! And the new school was much better. And she had found new friends she couldn't imagine living without.

So there is hope.

I have no doubt she'll find her place. She just needs time.

Isn't that the cure for everything? And isn't that the thing every 10th grader hates to hear??

hayseed said...

Of course you feel for her, and of course she's worried. I did change high schools in grade twelve (back in ancient times when there was gr. 13), and it was difficult initially, but a good experience in the end. Tribble will find her 'tribe', I'm sure of it, she sounds lovely (and I agree- Mall kids-bleh). You guys are just in the 'in-betweenies'-I guess one just has to ride the wave. Horses help.

marsh to the fore said...

I changed schools in tenth grade and thought the world was going to end and then found one girl and that girl led to another and another and before long I had a little tribe. I was not cool in the least--I was a total mess--and still I found some kids to relate to.

Tribble will find that one kid and that kid will lead to another kid... Still, this is one of the hardest times for anybody. I remember so well the agony and the pain and all of what I'm relating happened 60 years ago!

pseudosu said...

I changed schools every year from 3rd to 10th grade so was ALWAYS the new kid. It did kind of suck, but it was good for me too. And I never ever wound up with NO friends, even thought I was a total dorky reject.
Give it a couple weeks. She'll start mentioning someone she's begun hanging out with at lunch or whatever.

pseudosu said...


Biddie said...

We were all tres cool, weren't we?? Back in the day??
My heart is aching, too, cuz we all love her so. The girls and I were just talking about how incredible she is - honestly, we were. She is amazing and I am not just saying that.
It won't be long before she finds a kindred spirit, I just know it. Give her a big hug and tell her that I promis we will hit the outlet stores as soon as I have a couple of bucks.

Heidi the Hick said...

Today she did much better, which is such a relief.

She ate lunch with her bro. I told him over and over how great it was that he parted ways with his new bud to sit with his sister.


"Huh huh dude, you got HUGGED."
bucky- "That's my sister."

Hey everybody, thanks SO MUCH for all your kind words and advice. It means a lot to me, and to her. It's good to know others have survived!

I switched schools at 16 but I had a friend there, and she introduced me to the guy I married 4 yars later, and yeah, we're going shopping as soon as we all get a few bucks.

Thanks, for real!

RuckusButt said...

You know what I think is really neat? That she talked to you about it! When I was that age I had a hard time fitting in (perceived or real, I'll never know). I never wanted to bother my mom with it, somehow I felt like I needed to deal with everything on my own. I'm sure she will discover the non-cookie-cutter people before too long.

I admire your bravery for following your dream. That is truly amazing. And seriously, the studio in the barn can work!

mugwump said...

We moved a lot when I was a kid. But the most horrific thing to happen to me ever was when my parents pulled me out of public jr. high and put me in a small, all girls, Catholic prep school.
I was gleefully spiralling down the drain when they grabbed me up and fed me to the nuns.
I wasn't mad for a little while. I was mad for all four years.
It didn't matter. My folks were not the kind to worry about how I felt (you are such a good mom).
Here I am, 30 some odd years later and I am still close friends with 2 of the women I met at that school. I am in regular contact with about 5 others. None from college. None from Jr. High.

Anonymous said...

Hey Heidi:
We just moved from AZ to Ont and my son is the new kid at high school. No friends nothing except the excitement of finally being in high school. The first day he was "assaulted" by one of the football team. The charged the kid with assault, my son is filling out victim reports and the story is all over the news since the football team has now been suspended. Second day he thought that his locker had been broken into and all his stuff stolen. Turns out he just went to the wrong locker and panicked :o) Still he looks forward to going to school and meeting new kids and finds his teachers and his classes pretty cool. And yesterday before the whole locker thing he found someone to eat lunch with. I feel for you and your daughter, living it like we are, keep the faith and it probably will be one of the best things you could have done. She sounds like a wonderful kid and you are not the worst mom ever for moving her, despite what your conscience is telling you!!!! These kids are amazing survivors and she will find her way! Thanks goodness she talks to you, that is huge!!! Give her hugs from your blog friends!!!

Tribble said...

thanks soo much everybody!! i don't really know what else to say! :)