Monday, July 13, 2009

This is NOT my truck.

I found this super cool bitchin truck in the side yard in front of the garage. It's not mine. I'm not sure who it belongs to. It was only there for a day and a night, and the next afternoon it was gone. I had a real good look at it though. It's almost but not quite like my truck. Almost.

Yes, it does have the same logo on the front in big red letters, but don't let that fool you. My truck doesn't have those clearance lights on top. (When I was a kid, our 1958 Ford dump truck had lights shaped like bullets on the roof. Coooool.)

My truck also does not have an induction scoop on the hood. That's how you can tell this isn't my truck.

Here's another way to tell them apart: I don't have big chrome wheels like this. Maybe these are unavailable for a half-ton truck and this is a one-ton. However, it might be possible to rig up some nifty checkerplate wheel well mudflaps for my truck. But then, after I get my truck painted black, it would be even harder to tell these two apart.

Of course, mine does not have these extra wide rear fenders, under which not one but TWO tires hunker down waiting for something heavy to pull. I could slap a 4x4 sticker on my back quarter panel, but who am I trying to kid? All my front tires are doing is steering.

But here, lurking under the hood, is the biggest difference between my big ol' pickup truck, and this monstrous machine...

6.5 LITRE DIESEL TURBO rawr rawr rawr rawr



This truck could pull your house down the road. This truck could pull a house over snow. This truck could pull a house up a snow covered hill with the cargo bed full of llamas and the cab full of steer-wrestling-sized cowboys.


Okay... I don't need to pull a llama-laden load of houses anywhere. I just don't need it. I have no intention of pulling my house anywhere, and despite this being an exceptionally cool July, it's still summer... besides, I don't know any steer wrestlers and I don't have a llama. Yet.

Maybe my driving insurance is lower than this guy's. That'll ease the truck envy considerably.


coffeypot said...

I may be wrong, but you could probably buy the house you are pulling for less than that baby would cost.

I have a picture for you on my site, too.

JKB said...

I bet you would have liked to drive it though, right? :-))))))

focusgrasshopper said...

I would pay money to see a llama-laden truck pulling a house....hahahaha!


Heidi said...

I find it hilarious that you are taking such detailed photos of a truck that isn't yours! :)

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah, like why do I need pictures of a truck that isn't mine??? Maybe when I'm 97 I'll think it was mine and fake up some nice memories.

Grasshopper, I'd like to see a truck full of llamas no matter what it's pulling, because I think that would be fuuuuunny!

JKB, I didn't even move fast enough to offer to drive it into the garage. I once drove a big Dodge diesel into the garage- that was fun. The gear shift and I were the same size but I didn't let that stop me. Heck naw.

Coffeypot, y'know, good point. I'm glad I didn't have to pay for that truck. Or pay to make repairs on it. I mean, I've heard about the GM diesels, and the 4x4 problems. Guess I'll just look at them lovingly and then be thankful for my own old truck.


marsh to the fore said...

I too love that image of a llama laden truck hauling a house. The Llamas--being Llamas--would be incredibly bored by the whole thing.

dilling said...

you could me some llamas...or maybe alpacas....i love them.
me? i think it's probably just the slightest bit? over the top....but you know, i'm a hippie.

dilling said...

oh, sorry, typo...you could HAUL me some llamas....not Lorenzo Lamas, of course, but ya know....

Paul Tee said...

Well . . . I don't know. I have the feeling the owner is compensating for something. A small ego needs a truck that big. He could be lacking confidence and need an oversized boost to his self-esteem.
Once upon a time, I had a Harley, stipped down to essentials, no chrome, just black as night, rattling all the windows as the big square stroke engine pushed me down the street. Mothers rushed out to snatch their children to safety.
Come to think of it, I might have had a few issue myself back then.

Heidi the Hick said...

Geez, Paul, did you at least get a few pictures of that bike? That must have been fun. Issues or not. I have to agree, by the way, about those overcompensation issues... believe me, I know all about size issues! 5'1" and look what I drive!!

Dilling, yep, over the top! Which can be fun, but I'm a little outta control that way.

Also... I wasn't going to say this, but since you mentioned it... if I ever get a llama and it's a boy, you know what I'm gonna call him?


I gotta do it.

Marsh, good mental image - they always look above it all!

Paul Tee said...

Come now Heidi. You drive a rational utility truck, not a jacked-up 6.5 Liter Turbocharged monster with dual rear wheels, bragging to be a 4X4.

You are 5'1" of undiscovered talent, and if you're compensating then your issues lie elsewhere.
For one thing, you know the real meaning of horsepower.