www.flickr.com

Friday, June 12, 2009

What I'm doing to get ready for My Big Exam tomorrow

-believing that I really do know what I'm talking about 

-visualizing what it might be like to teach my lesson plans in front of the Evaluator

-and in my imaginings, I do a great job of it

-getting all my gear together:  all the leg wraps and bandages, the grooming kit, first aid kid, lunge line and whip, and my binder full of notes, papers, plans

-deciding what to bring for lunch

-getting up at 3 am for the last five days to take my Side-effexor, so that when I wake up at 6 (or, tomorrow morning, 5 am) I don't feel as queasy because I've slept it off for awhile

-writing lists

-blogging a list of lists, haha

-realizing that in my entire life, this is the only formal education that I've ever really cared about.  High school?  Pfah.  College?  Fun year.  This?  This matters.

-practicing

-reading my Western Rider manual over and over again

-thinking like an instructor

-cleaning all my grooming tools and tack boxes and making sure everything looks neat and PERFESHNUL.

-congratulating myself for sticking with it for the last three years, cuz y'know what?  IT HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN EASY TO STICK WITH IT and many days I felt like giving up.  But.  There are a lot of things in my life I cannot control.  This, all I have to do is stay stubborn, keep my head down, and plow through it.  Sometimes I have really, really enjoyed it, and that keeps me looking for the next good spot.

-knowing that nothing in my life has come to me easily... I'm a slow learner and I don't take directions well, I confuse easily, I have a hard time paying attention.  I'm a klutz.  I sometimes fall into a deep pit of depression when things are looking really great.  I'm a bit of a mess, really.  But I've got that good old Mennonite work ethic.  I have to keep at it.  It's just in me.

-deciding that this could actually be kind of exciting, doing this exam.

Think about it: Eight hours in a horse barn, showing off my SKILLZ, talking about horses.  Wearing my pretty pink shirt and my Stetson.  Ooh, and my blingy belt.  And my Wranglers (I hope they fit tomorrow!)  

I get to ride, and teach others how to do something.  This could be...fun.

If I get an attack of the panic, I can ask my Evaluator for some time to take a breath and collect my thoughts.  I can do this.  

It is exhausting to prop myself up like this, buy hey look at me, I'm doing it.  

See ya on Monday...


7 comments:

JKB said...

I have faith in you. Utter, utter faith.

Knock 'em dead, kid!!!!

Lots of love and hugs and kisses from Germany!

pseudosu said...

You know your stuff kiddo. All the nervousness in the world won't change that fact and it'll come though. (Plus, you're so dang cute and appealing you'll have them wrapped around your pinky I'm guessing) So, now about that lunch...?

Brit said...

You're going to come back from this and say, "I did it! What was I so nervous about?"

Good luck!

dilling said...

you're gonna be just fine! better than fine..better than better...
and"

-knowing that nothing in my life has come to me easily... I'm a slow learner and I don't take directions well, I confuse easily, I have a hard time paying attention. I'm a klutz. I sometimes fall into a deep pit of depression when things are looking really great. I'm a bit of a mess, really. But I've got that good old Mennonite work ethic. I have to keep at it. It's just in me." except for that Mennonite thing? we just may be the same person....

Sharon McMaster, BSc(H), MLT, EMT said...

Good luck! I'm sure you're going to do just great!

JKB said...

OK dood, waiting here for an update. How'd you do?

mugwump said...

I cannot wait to read your next post.