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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Do all horses have ADD? Does it work better for them than for me?

I am beginning to think that ALL horses have Attention Deficit Disorder.

At the Little Valley, beautiful Tia has returned from her winter of stall rest up north.  She's sound again, and just needs to get her muscle tone back.  It's good to have her home; she's the alpha mare, the one who makes sure everything goes as it should.  I mean, how did the Little Valley function without her all winter?
Her senses are razor sharp, and even when she's relaxed, she's alert.  Sure enough she was looking for all the boogeymen in the forest.  All the way around the ring, she had to lift her head and point her ears forward, because she knew there was something out there.  I had to constantly remind her to pay attention to me.  

Susan calls her the Attention Deficit Horse.  

But I was thinking, as I worked the mare into a jog and gradually got her collected and slowed, that there must be a reason for Tia to be so hyper-aware of her surroundings.  

If this was a wild herd, which they couldn't be farther from, Tia would be the one who calls the alarm.  Bo would be a real stud instead of just in his own mind, and Skyla and Lily would kind of bumble along and do what they're supposed to.  Bo would be in charge of moving everybody.


(By the way, a few months apart did not cool Bo's longing for Tia.  He whickers at her every time he sees her... and she still hates him.  Yeah, they're in different paddocks now to keep her from kicking the snot out of him and hurting herself again.  And the old goat still stares at her lustfully while she ignores him. )

Anyways.  Digression, see???

So this weekend I demanded horse time and I got it.  After grooming for about an hour, I got both horses saddled up and rode them one at a time.  My gelding, Phoenix, was his usual molasses-mouthed relaxed self.  He spent more time stretching out his massive neck and yawning than taking consecutive steps.  I figured he was working very hard at being easily distracted so he could get on with being lazy.  My gosh, I do love this horse - he's so mellow and gentle, all I have to do is get him to work with me!


Meanwhile, Bucky was hammering things in the tree beside the corral, my ol man was in and out of the yard with his landscaping trailer, and Jethro was taking the chainsaw to the rotten floor of the stock trailer.  Phoenix didn't ignore these things, but noticed and didn't care.

Actually at one point when I was grooming him, an empty paper shavings sack blew across the yard and flapped against his legs.  He blinked.  That's it.  What a relief.

This isn't a horse who spooks easily.  He takes a good look and decides if it's a problem or not.  It usually isn't.

My darling departed red horse, Champ, noticed every little thing in the world.  Everything.  He didn't often bolt or lose his marbles, but nothing got past him.  Trail rides were interesting.  There's a metal grate halfway down the dirt road that he always had to walk sideways past.  Every mailbox had to be passed with one eye fixed on it, just in case it tried to eat us.  He'd go past it, but not let it out of his sight until it was behind us.  "Mailboxes eat horses, you know," I'd say, explaining his caution.  Some people tried to blame it on his Arabian father, but I knew the truth.  He was just doing his job.


Champ believed, right to the end, that he was still a stud horse.  And what does the stud do?  Move everybody around.  He herded any other horse he was with and was never off duty.  On a trail ride, he was ready for anything.

It drove my ol man nuts.  I would usually let Dad ride Champ because I was either riding the young greenie or a pony.  Dad liked Champ for his spunk and speed but hated the constant distraction.  Champ would suddenly jerk his head up and point his ears at something we couldn't see or hear.  Then he'd lift his magnificent tail, arch his neck, and let a big aggressive whinny thunder through his whole body.  "Why does he always have to do that?  Can't he just go down the road?"

"No he can't Dad.  He's protecting us."

"Protecting us from what?" he'd scoff.

"Well we don't know and we'll never find out, cuz Champ just scared it all away."

My dad think I'm kinda nuts too.

I always chalked my horse's distractibility up to his stud-like tendencies.  But now I'm wondering if there's more to it.  

When I rode the little mare this weekend, I thought about it some more.  Like Phoenix, the Little Lady does not spook easily.  Anything out of the ordinary will get the big eyeballs and a snort, but I've never seen her bolt in terror.  Unlike Phoenix, she cares.  She cares very much about what I want from her.  She's gentle, but so eager to please that she almost turns herself inside out.  She's a worrier, and a total sweetheart. 

Since the first time I sat on her back when she was three years old, she has never bucked, bolted or reared up.  She's packed my kids around from the beginning, and I wouldn't put my kids on just any horse.  I trust her.  This weekend, I noticed all over again how responsive she is to every cue.  It takes the lightest touch of the legs to make her move; if I shift my seat bones back, she stops.  

It's wonderful and makes her a joy to ride, BUT.  It also means that every move I make could be a cue for her to do something, anything, what what WHAT???  All these signals come flying at her, and she reads every one of them, almost blowing her mind.  Her rider has to be precise to avoid confusing her.  



So I'm thinking about all these horses and the way they process the information they get from the world.  They can be easily distracted.  

Isn't this kind of a survival mechanism?

Think about it.  Despite being born and raised in captivity and having steady contact with humans, they retain this instinct, this need to be aware of their surroundings.  Never mind that those surroundings are farm fields and fences, not mountain lions.  It doesn't matter that they've never really had to run for their lives... it's there just in case, this constant awareness of anything that might jump out and get them.  

It might look like stupidity, or half-arabian flightiness, or Appaloosa goofiness.  It might look like attention deficit.  I suspect it might have served a very real purpose a few thousand years ago.

How does this relate to me?

Although not formally diagnosed, I have the Attention Deficit Oh Shiny.  My pshrink, DOCTA-CHAN!  basically told me that he doesn't even have to test me for it, because he can tell after a few appointments with me.  He says I know it too.  I guess he figures it's the least of my problems.  

I see and feel and hear everything, although not always what I'm supposed to.  I have a million ideas in my head, pictures, voices.  It can be a beautiful and terrifying place, my brain. 

I spook easily.  I can be distracted by anything.  I have to work to get focused, but sometimes when I do it's an unbreakable focus.

Is it possible that a few thousand years ago, in a different world, I would have been valued by my fellow humans instead of ridiculed, scolded, and given disapproving remarks on my report card?  What if my creativity was allowed to run free instead of being forced onto the clock?  What if, every time I jumped out of my skin, somebody paid attention and wanted to know what was creeping around in the hedges?

Would I have been the alpha mare in my herd?

I'm going to pay more attention (haha will it be hard for me?) to the reactions my horses have to their world.  Obviously I still need them to pay attention to me.  I want them to know that when we're working, I'm in charge, and things go better when they let me direct things.  In return, I understand that for some of us, the awareness doesn't shut down, ever.   


Maybe that's why I love horses so much... we relate?



28 comments:

JKB said...

Why not? AD-Oh Shiny is horrible to have...sometimes. I have to say the sentence where you said 'my brain is a beautiful and horrible place to be' really meshed with how I view my own brain.

Horses are the reason the world goes round. Humans wouldn't have gotten anywhere without them.

Heidi the Hick said...

Yup. Agreed!

restoration42 said...

So if Willie Nelson is right (of course he is) and horses are everything a fully enlightened human might be, you are SO ALREADY THERE. Love your call on the amazing miss-not-one-thing full throttled attention of our equine sweeties. Attention Excess Syndrome. Wired to survive cuz the world is full of things that would love to munch down on their bones. My dear Red Horse is almost a ringer for Champ. And Red is the top fella in the herd. He misses not one little flea sneeze and works hard to protect us. My job? I need to constantly hold my position as leader when we become a tiny herd of two. Though always somewhat skeptical, he generally trusts my
position and my judgment. Sigh. And he watches me like a hawk for any lapse of attention. Then he will: a. try to bump me down a notch in our tiny herd hierarchy; b. decide he needs to be around horses he can trust more than me and do his "back to the herd" dance. Better than adderall, better than the finest meditation in the world, Red keeps me paying attention.

Hey JKB - I'm with you, the world turns for the horses.

Oh, if you haven't already, check out "Born to explore - the other side of ADD" http://borntoexplore.org/addexp~1.htm

annyong said...

i like horses. heheheheh... oooh look....!!!

Heidi the Hick said...

One Red horse- yep, I know all about the work involved in remaining the leader in the little herd of two. And by the way, even though I belong to two varnish roan Appies, I will always love those red chestnut horses!

Tribble- wait, what?

Paul Tee said...

That was a very nicely put mouthful. Loved the description and pictures.

I looked for Attention Deficit Oh Shiny in the DSMIV Diagnostic Manual, but could find no ADOS anywhere. However you fit a sub category, ADHD (Attention Deficit Horse Disorder) characterized by awareness and hypersensitivity to horses.

And just because you are ADD, does not mean they are not after you... Wait. That did not sound right.
Just because you have ADD, does mean they are after you?

Marcus runs across the Horsepeople, who look down on the rest of the world, as... as pedestrians.

Me? I just saddle up my right leg, then my left leg and walk to the store.

Angela said...

Its great how you are still analyzing and learning from Champ, even though he's gone. Plus, I like how Phoenix looks like he was sprinkled with cinnamon.

BMGallop said...

Historically speaking, a few thousand years ago, you still would have been made fun of. Maybe a few tens of thousands of years ago you would have been alpha hick chick.

Heidi the Hick said...

Alpha Hick Chick... I like that. Thanks!

Angela, you are so right - I continue to learn from that horse. He was such a pain in the butt and such a blessing!

Phoenix does look like he was sprinkled with cinnamon! Wow! He's also been compared to Oreo cookies n cream ice cream. It's funny because when I answered the sale ad I thought he looked cute in the photo. Just cute. He's a nice surprise!

Paul- Is that Attention Deficit Horse Disorder a big problem, or just a nuisance to spouses? You know the cure, right? MORE HORSE STUFF!

Coffeypot said...

We are alike quiet a bit. All you said about your childhood is the same things I went thought. I was called lazy and other stuff, and I didn't understand why? I had plenty of energy. My mind did - and still does -wonder around and I have to make myself focus, too. But if I had to be compared to a horse I wish it was because I was hung like one.

mugwump said...

I was diagnosed formally with ADD/aspergers three years ago. I thought I was simply nuts until then.Whew.
Since then I have met many, many people in the horse world who share a variation of the same song.
Lots of trainers....is it because we get it? Is it why there are "horse people", we're tuned like a horse?
This mind set seems to go hand in hand with creativity too.

Heidi the Hick said...

Coffeypot, you, me, my dad, as well as, I think, a lot of others who gravitate towards this blog. I wonder how life would have been if it'd been caught when we were in school, but then I think about my daughter; I spent 5 years trying to get the school to take the ADD diagnosis into consideration but nope. By grade 8 I was still having frustrating discussions with her teacher about how she needed to put in more effort. Gah.

Like sitting in a frickin desk all day doesn't require effort!!!! Damn, it's torturous sometimes!

And your horse comparison made me giggle a little.

Mugwump- I"d love to know how many horse people have something like this. Doesn't it make sense?

As for creativity... I'm learning to celebrate that, rather than feel angry that I can't quite keep up with the rest of the world.

Paul Tee said...

Well Heidi, speaking as a spouse, I must confess that my wife (great as she is) spends 4 times more time greeting our boxer than me, ten times more petting and caressing ... and it's been years since she took me on a good walk.

So I think it is time for you to take that curry comb and give hubby's hide a good once over, clean out the toenails, rub liniment on those aching joints, braid his unruly locks into something presentable. He will forget all about your ADHD, your horse sense should tell you that..

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah, the unfairness of long marriages!!

I know our dog gets more affectionate greetings than I do, but then, do I really wanna get my belly rubbed? Nah.

But I there are some things I do for my horse that I'll not be doing for my husband. let's just say I'll take care of his aching joints and his unruly mane but I'll pass on the toenails. Hooves are bad enough, y'know?

Laura Crum said...

That was a fun post to read. I have always thought I had Asburger's, though nobody ever bothered to look into why I was so weird as a kid. It was a different era. Teachers and parents tried their best to ignore my obvious obessive compulsive behaviors and panic attacks, let alone my very anti-social nature.
Now that I've been a published author for fifteen years, I can see exactly how my endless pacing back and forth making up stories (which I did throughout my childhood) led to this success (uhmm, if you want to call it that--I'm not getting rich by any means). So, I agree with mugwump, this quirk, whatever it is, goes with both horses and creativity. Like you, Heidi, I study my horses all the time, trying to understand their personalities and reactions. I didn't make it as a trainer...I got too caught up in the individual horses and couldn't let them go.

Heidi the Hick said...

Laura, do you ever think that horses are easier for some people to relate to because they are incapable of dishonesty?

I have always been quite social. I used to pride myself in my ability to get along with just about anybody. (Until my brain snapped and I figured I didn't have any energy to waste!)

But horses were always, always, a relief, a breath of fresh air. Even when they didn't come running up to me like in the books, or seem to love me... in fact even when they flat out ignored me because they'd rather eat, at least I knew it was for real. People lie and horses just can't!

I need to write a post about that too...

Oh, and I was a weird kid too. I zoned out regularly because my head stories were way better than real life.

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