Friday, January 25, 2008


I was reading, writing, and riding. I've been mostly cold. And tired. But it's okay.

New book project: It is getting easier, now that I've forced my way into the story. I've made some veeeeery interesting discoveries, including a character who popped up unexpectedly and stole my heart. This story still makes me painfully uncomfortable though. I wrote a section yesterday that I deleted and retrieved three times. I'm waiting for it to grab me and beg me to write it. Now it's just nagging me sullenly. I resist... but the good news is, I am writing it. I'd like to think that's the difference between saying I want to be a writer and actually being a writer. I keep writing.

Riding progress: discovered that Rider Level 3 is no longer enough to take the next step. As of January 2008 I need Rider Level 4 in order to take my Instructor's Exam. Slight panic. Slight. I've been having long conversations with myself, persuading me that I can do this.

So basically, I've spent the last two weeks doing the following:


reading books about riding lessons

riding, while wiggling my fingers to get the feeling back into them

reading (Steinbeck's East of Eden- why why why have I waited so long to read this?)

petting my old cat

making faces at my young dog

teaching the warm up and cool down sections of a lesson, while stomping around in the snow to keep my extremities from going numb

writing a publicity blurb for my favourite recording studio (free; but I get awesome fringe benefits) (like groceries...)

walking that pug, vigorously, trying to work off some of our winter weight if you know what I mean.

worrying about money (lack of)

riding, and enjoying it once we get moving and get warm

writing point form lesson plans

flinging horse manure

reading agent blogs and sadly becoming even more confused as to what they want from me

watching American Idol with my kids. QUICK- Simon or Ryan????

Basically, while I was not creating new bloggage, I was getting myself all overwhelmed with new projects. Apparently I am stupid that way.

I don't give up easily though. I am not one of those Type A achievers, no matter how much I've wished to be. I am the kind who steadily ambles along, silently pep-talking myself the whole way, muttering and grunting and stopping for a short rest at each milestone. I have two nasty little monsters following me. One is Fear and one is Sadness. Every now and then they take over but sometimes I stop to kick their asses. Sometimes I get so far ahead of them that if I turned my head I might not be able to see them.

Today when I was riding Tia she stopped dead in her tracks and looked out into the forest. A flash of red the size of a dog bounced through the deep snow, black paws and a white tipped tail disappearing as soon as I figured out who he was. I wonder who he was following.

Enjoy every breath, my friends. Don't ever be afraid to live, but be careful. Even too much of something helpful can hurt you. Never suffer alone in silence. Close your eyes in the dark and breathe deep. Be thankful for every hardship and joy you've been given. Be thankful for every day you wake up and open your eyes.

(I thought he was great in Ned Kelly.)

I treated myself to a new plaid shirt the other day. I needed flannel so badly. Desperate need for warm soft comfort. The only plaid they had left was blue. I took it.

See you on Monday.


Balloon Pirate said...

Glad you're back.

Never make a decision out of fear. Never.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Bought a flannel shirt for myself this week. Also blue.

And a black sweater.

And a blue denim shirt.

Remember waaaay back a few years ago when the topic was dreams and what we would buy if we could buy anything? Remember the computer with balls the size of canned hams that I said I would buy? I bought it.


dilling said...

Welcome back. It's been quiet all over Blogtown this week. I bought a new skull hoodie this week, too. it is lovely and has extra long sleeves just how I like...big splurge considering the big money payout last week. But I needed it...it felt like need, anyway.
Simon or Ryan what?

Rising Rainbow said...

Sometimes writing those parts you don't want to write that keep haunting are the very things that will distinguish you from others who think they are writers.

Bunny said...

Glad to see you're back!!!!

Heidi said...

Glad that you are back... glad you are having progress in your writing. I agree with rising rainbow... the things that are hardest to write may be the things that make you stand out.

"I've made some veeeeery interesting discoveries, including a character who popped up unexpectedly and stole my heart"

People who don't write don't understand this: we don't always have complete control over what our character do. They become their own people, make their own decisions, sometimes even ones we don't want them to make. And sometimes, if we're really lucky, we fall in love with them when we are least expecting it.

Can't wait to hear more about it!

The Adult in Question said...

I'm glad you are back too. I have so much time in the computer lab and nothing to read. Facebook is only entertaining for so long. Also, I am getting too lazy to do the whole email thing.
Speaking of new clothes, when I was in Toronto with Spencer we went splits on a Hard Rock Cafe sweater. Totally worth it I was so over heated in it today I thought I was going to die. And it was about -23 with the wind chill.

A Paperback Writer said...

I'm just glad that you never failed to give us Johnny on Fridays during your blog break.
Nice to see you again (figuratively speaking, of course).

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm glad you're all glad I'm back!

I won't be able to post something every day though. I've got a lot going on right now. I'm thinking Mon-Wed-Fri kind of thing.

Be assured that there will always be Johnny on Friday. He makes me happy. And there will be regular horse pictures... because of the happiness factor.

And clothes. Lots of nice work clothes.

I'll let you know how my work is going but I don't think I'll be letting out too much info about the story I'm working on now. It's too volatile. It might not even get to the readable stage. I just want to finish it and see how it turns out... but it's an uncomfortable story.

Yes, I know... sometimes those are the ones that turn out to be most worthy of being read. What's life without a little challenge, eh?

Well we'll see. We'll just see.

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh- Simon or Ryan?

Cowell or Seacrest?

Which one????

I gotta know.

C'mon, it's the only show I watch on my one TV channel.

LadyBronco said...

Welcome back!

It's a good thing that you are still working on this particular project even though it makes you uncomfortable. It tell me this particular story wants to be told, and you have found the courage to keep at it.



I for one can't wait to read your book. It will be great!! (Trust me I'm from Oldham)

Off to the publishers again next week - still don't know if it'll happen. They've decided I have to use false names throughout. Probably wise thinking about it. If I get lucky I'll make a loss anyroad gettin' sued!!!

Anita said...

Great to see you... You've been busy... making yourself busier? lol... Isn't that sort of defeating the purpose? Oh well... Nothing you can't handle!

Nicole said...


JKB said...

I understand your character dilemmas. I'm having the same problem right now with one of mine.

Good luck, and glad you're back!

(Lurking again)

Biddie said...

Do NOT stop writing. When I get back on my meds, I am gonna race thru your book, and then I will be waiting on this new one.
I don't have one single flannel shirt, but I sure do love my jammies. Wearing em right now.
You will ace the level 4 test. You can do this, it is what you have wanted forever.
Simon or Ryan? They are both obnoxious. Can I hate them both?

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm picking Simon.

He's rude, sure, and obnoxious and arrogant....


He's ENGLISH and being a nice little Canadian farm girl I have a weakness for the exotic Britishness. Sorry.

And you know, that smirk. Love a smirk.

So there, it's out! More of my nasty secrets revealed!!!!!

Biddie said...

You DO have a soft spot for those brits.

Heidi the Hick said...

God 'elp me...