Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I just can't leave you alone for a day...

I wasn't going to post anything today but here I am, with a computer in my lap, thinking. The Next Novel Project that I thought would be so easy, so much easier than The Other Next New Novel Project Which Is Going To Be a Difficult Subject, is not actually turning out to be so easy after all. I feel like I'm getting bogged down in boring details instead of action. With four novels behind me, half of which are not even ready to be read, I know that this first part, the first writing, can be hard. Oh screw it, the whole thing is hard. Darnit. It's difficult. Poor little me for having chosen this. Whatevs.

I've spent much of the last two days shoveling gravel in the back yard and I am in agony. Every muscle from the neck down is screaming at me. My large husband, who is descended from hardy Brits who were all built like brick ****houses, is even sore. I hate shoveling gravel. I'd rather shovel manure, I am not kidding.

Like, all I'm saying is, there are some things I'll do that other guy's wives won't. That's all. And yes I am talking about shovels and levels and wheelbarrows and stuff.

But we will have a very nice deck out of the deal. If we stay here, we can enjoy it. If we sell and move, it makes the house more desirable.

I guess my main thing these days is uncertainty. I'm in such a great position to accomplish my goals: My husband encourages me to NOT get a crappy job, and go work on getting my riding instructor's paperwork so that I can be all perfeshnul and all. He actually wants me to write and make publication a goal. He believes in me and doesn't care if they flowerbeds are a mess or if there's dust on the bookshelves.

I am so lucky.

Yet I sit here struggling with words, battling the clock to get out to the barn and back, scattered and messed up and never quite getting done what I need to get done.

But I'm here. I can do this. I have written a novel. Four times. I have taught riding lessons. None of this is new. I can reach my goals and improve my work.


I can.

Deep breath.

Back to work.

Right after I watch Jethro wrangling the power tools....


coffeypot said...

If I tried to shovel rocks you would be reading my obit. There is something about a shovel and my hands that is something like a chicken standing next to a fox. Just ain’t gon’a to happen.

Tod said...

You wrote 4 novels and can shovel gravel? You're really a nuclear powered robot aren't you?

Olly said...

I'd much rather watch some hunky men getting all sweaty shoveling. I will supervise, sipping something nice and cold! Truthfully? My back couldn't handle more than ten minutes of it.

Good for you for going for it, though. I'll stick to scraping and painting, etc.

Heidi the Hick said...

My back hurts sooooo much!

I am not a machine! I am just a weak fragile human being!!!!

(although I admit it took me years to write the books and I only shoveled gravel for a few hours over two days.)

I would like to think that my gravel days are over. However, as we always seem to end up grunting our way through these home improvement jobs, I will probably get stuck doing more manual labour in my life.

Seriously. I ache from the collarbones down. Ow.

Anita said...

Hope you feel better fast! I know how that feels... Not gravel, but debris...
You are lucky to have such a great man...
My Ricky is like that, too... Its hard enough for me to live with someone else, let alone someone who doesn't back me up... :)

rain said...

I hate shovelling - I am so one of those wives who doesn't shovel. But I do other things...really! When I think about it..I do lots of things the shoveler doesn't do, bless his heart.

Lynn Sinclair said...

You'll get that gravel shoveled just in time to start shoveling snow. Oh joy, oh bliss.

Beginning the new book--always tough (going through it myself). You may, in the end, abandon that first chapter or two, but sometimes it's necessary to get that backstory in there just to get the story started.

Heidi the Hick said...

Lynn, you are absolutely right- about both those things!!

I think I'll end up cutting a lot out of this story, but that's okay. I've had to do that before. Sometimes it takes a while to really get it rolling, eh?

Anita & Rain...isn't the division of jobs between spouses a funny thing?

CindyDianne said...

Yes you can do it! You Can ! You Will. Where is that verse that says that when 2 or more people are in agreement, so is He?