I wasn't going to post anything today but here I am, with a computer in my lap, thinking. The Next Novel Project that I thought would be so easy, so much easier than The Other Next New Novel Project Which Is Going To Be a Difficult Subject, is not actually turning out to be so easy after all. I feel like I'm getting bogged down in boring details instead of action. With four novels behind me, half of which are not even ready to be read, I know that this first part, the first writing, can be hard. Oh screw it, the whole thing is hard. Darnit. It's difficult. Poor little me for having chosen this. Whatevs.
I've spent much of the last two days shoveling gravel in the back yard and I am in agony. Every muscle from the neck down is screaming at me. My large husband, who is descended from hardy Brits who were all built like brick ****houses, is even sore. I hate shoveling gravel. I'd rather shovel manure, I am not kidding.
Like, all I'm saying is, there are some things I'll do that other guy's wives won't. That's all. And yes I am talking about shovels and levels and wheelbarrows and stuff.
But we will have a very nice deck out of the deal. If we stay here, we can enjoy it. If we sell and move, it makes the house more desirable.
I guess my main thing these days is uncertainty. I'm in such a great position to accomplish my goals: My husband encourages me to NOT get a crappy job, and go work on getting my riding instructor's paperwork so that I can be all perfeshnul and all. He actually wants me to write and make publication a goal. He believes in me and doesn't care if they flowerbeds are a mess or if there's dust on the bookshelves.
I am so lucky.
Yet I sit here struggling with words, battling the clock to get out to the barn and back, scattered and messed up and never quite getting done what I need to get done.
But I'm here. I can do this. I have written a novel. Four times. I have taught riding lessons. None of this is new. I can reach my goals and improve my work.
Back to work.
Right after I watch Jethro wrangling the power tools....